Today, my friends were right about me being whipped. My girlfriend now has me setting an alarm for 3 hrs after she's fallen asleep, all so I can uncover her feet so she doesn't get too warm. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend of two years asked me why I would never tie her shoes for her. I confessed to her my deep hatred of feet. Later, I woke up from a nap next to my girlfriend. With her feet in my mouth. FML
Today, my girlfriend woke me at 5am, just to say how great it was that I could still sleep two more hours before leaving for work. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend takes videos of me sleeping and watches them with her friends. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me I could sleep in. Twenty minutes later, she was banging on the door, yelling, "Get up, fat lazy fuck! It's seven o'clock, we have chores! You expect me to do everything for your worthless ass!" FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend sleepwalks. Well, I say sleepwalks, more like sleep punches. Very, very hard. FML
Today, my husband woke me up at 3 AM by putting whipped cream on my hand and tickling my nose with a feather. FML
Today, after my girlfriend had a nightmare this morning, I stayed home because she has really bad anxiety issues. A couple of hours later, she's pissed because I said I would stay up, but I fell asleep. FML
Today, my girl and I got in a huge fight. Because I cuddled with her the wrong way. While I was asleep. FML
Today, I was woken up by my drunk girlfriend calling me and saying how much she loves me. She then stopped to tell the guy she was in bed with to be quiet because I might hear him. FML
Today, I woke up to my friend stroking my face with the bottom of his foot and whispering, "Shh, you're okay." FML
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Top comments
fullerkate3 17
**** that! You need to get your balls back
JayGatsby 25
Make her do it herself. If she has a problem, she can do it. I honestly don't understand why you are responsible for keeping her feet warm
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Comments (105)
tomvertigo 17
If you do it YOU are the problem just as much as she is. You're enabling that attitude... and by the way; that's not being whipped... that's having NO dignity.
sweetbliss3 37
you sound like a doormat more than anything. ydi
interesting33 37
I understand that if you are awake but if she is expecting you to wake up to do this then that is completely unreasonable. Reminds me of the girlfriend in Someone Marry Barry when she makes her bf go to the store at 3am just to get her some particular type of juice.
CharlieM78 9
Jesus Grow A Pair even small ones will be bigger than what you have.
Moyer1666 2
just don't do it
tiger820 20
that's beyond whipped, that's just stupidity!
buckdharma 38
Damn op. when you take her coffee to her in the morning make sure it's 119 degrees F, instead of her customary 120 degrees just for spite.
Rudster23 7
Not even if she was Beyoncé would I do that (well maybe, but anybody else, nah)
chisty87 16
Well since you admit you're whipped it is a choice now and you have no right to complain you brought it upon your self
AwkwardKarma 18
Break up