Today, my friends were right about me being whipped. My girlfriend now has me setting an alarm for 3 hrs after she's fallen asleep, all so I can uncover her feet so she doesn't get too warm. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend of two years asked me why I would never tie her shoes for her. I confessed to her my deep hatred of feet. Later, I woke up from a nap next to my girlfriend. With her feet in my mouth. FML
Today, my girlfriend woke me at 5am, just to say how great it was that I could still sleep two more hours before leaving for work. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend takes videos of me sleeping and watches them with her friends. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me I could sleep in. Twenty minutes later, she was banging on the door, yelling, "Get up, fat lazy fuck! It's seven o'clock, we have chores! You expect me to do everything for your worthless ass!" FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend sleepwalks. Well, I say sleepwalks, more like sleep punches. Very, very hard. FML
Today, my husband woke me up at 3 AM by putting whipped cream on my hand and tickling my nose with a feather. FML
Today, after my girlfriend had a nightmare this morning, I stayed home because she has really bad anxiety issues. A couple of hours later, she's pissed because I said I would stay up, but I fell asleep. FML
Today, my girl and I got in a huge fight. Because I cuddled with her the wrong way. While I was asleep. FML
Today, I was woken up by my drunk girlfriend calling me and saying how much she loves me. She then stopped to tell the guy she was in bed with to be quiet because I might hear him. FML
Today, I woke up to my friend stroking my face with the bottom of his foot and whispering, "Shh, you're okay." FML
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Top comments
fullerkate3 17
**** that! You need to get your balls back
JayGatsby 25
Make her do it herself. If she has a problem, she can do it. I honestly don't understand why you are responsible for keeping her feet warm
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Comments (105)
sillygirl247 14
Dude if she is making you that that, she's just a raging ****. Unless your into the submissive little bitch lifestyle. If so call her mistress. If not tell her to **** off.
backdoorman010 9
embarrassing. sounds to me your a big fat pussy
ligerzero459 24
So how'd that operation to have spine surgically removed feel?
lavapants 15
You deserve it, man up or find a new girl.
PANDORUM89 21
I don't understand relationships like these. I've only let a man treat me like crap once and it's because I didn't know any better. I'm still f'd up from that relationship. if I hear his ringtone on someone else's phone I get anxious and my stomach drops. you should only be in a relationship that gives as much as you give. my bf once woke up at 3am to warm my toes up because I was so cold. but I will then turn around and keep the house colder than what I like because he is always hot or I'll give him a back massage or set my alarm to a time before his first so that I am awake so he doesn't have to worry about missing his alarms and missing work. if you aren't in a mutual relationship then what you're in isn't going to last. At this point it would be better to get a FwB than have her as a gf.
Solano2580 24
Dude, if you don't want to then don't, but don't act like a macho idiot.
zarrganaut 17
Sorry, op, but I agree with your friends. You ARE whipped!
ladycryptic 19
Set another alarm to remind yourself to remove your balls from her purse.
martin8337 36
The sex better be top notch and 3-5 times daily.
LadyTyger51ne 8
She can wake up and kick her own feet out from under the blanket. You're not a servant