Today, my friends were right about me being whipped. My girlfriend now has me setting an alarm for 3 hrs after she's fallen asleep, all so I can uncover her feet so she doesn't get too warm. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend of two years asked me why I would never tie her shoes for her. I confessed to her my deep hatred of feet. Later, I woke up from a nap next to my girlfriend. With her feet in my mouth. FML
Today, my girlfriend woke me at 5am, just to say how great it was that I could still sleep two more hours before leaving for work. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend takes videos of me sleeping and watches them with her friends. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me I could sleep in. Twenty minutes later, she was banging on the door, yelling, "Get up, fat lazy fuck! It's seven o'clock, we have chores! You expect me to do everything for your worthless ass!" FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend sleepwalks. Well, I say sleepwalks, more like sleep punches. Very, very hard. FML
Today, my husband woke me up at 3 AM by putting whipped cream on my hand and tickling my nose with a feather. FML
Today, after my girlfriend had a nightmare this morning, I stayed home because she has really bad anxiety issues. A couple of hours later, she's pissed because I said I would stay up, but I fell asleep. FML
Today, my girl and I got in a huge fight. Because I cuddled with her the wrong way. While I was asleep. FML
Today, I was woken up by my drunk girlfriend calling me and saying how much she loves me. She then stopped to tell the guy she was in bed with to be quiet because I might hear him. FML
Today, I woke up to my friend stroking my face with the bottom of his foot and whispering, "Shh, you're okay." FML
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Top comments
fullerkate3 17
**** that! You need to get your balls back
JayGatsby 25
Make her do it herself. If she has a problem, she can do it. I honestly don't understand why you are responsible for keeping her feet warm
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Comments (105)
jaykruz90 13
You need to tell her when she gets hot kick off the covers like everyone else
zyero 9
Your level of pussy whipped makes me realize I don't fit the bill.
hank0311 10
Lol wow, I remember the first time I got laid.
hank0311 10
I tell you what grab 500 dollars hop a plane to the Philippines for the weekend. She will be covering your feet when you get back.
fuckedup_101 5
hahaha I was heading there too but I turned around before I ended up completely whipped!
hank0311 10
Head over to barns and noble grab a book called " I hope they serve beer in hell". Is this how to treat every women hell no. But some need a wake up call brother!
ekalfhsa 2
This was so nice to read - you've hit the nail on the head. I hope you end up with a girl who wants to take care of you, too. OP, you can't put yourself at her absolute disposal that way - I think your boundaries need clarified.
lostinareverie 21
Sounds like you need to find someone who will give you respect!
joshi42 16
Schedule anal sex for 03:01 then.
charlespaintin14 4
"The way you react to others conveys your perceptions of relative value." When you go extremely out of your way and treat her way better than she treats you, what you are communicating to her and to everyone else, is that you think she is better than you and more deserving of good stuff than you. It implies you think she is higher value, and you are lower value. It implies you are insecure in yourself as a man. This is fundamentally unattractive to women. If you could get away with being whipped, and it didn't turn her off... That would be one thing. But not only are you embarrassing yourself and sacrificing your own time and sleep for her ridiculous "needs", but you are also killing her sexual attraction towards you, in the process. It's not "helping" you, by kissing her a*ss. Its not "winning her over". It does the exact OPPOSITE. It repels her, like a cockroach or a spider would. A woman cannot remain attracted to a man like that. Her attraction will fade- quickly. You need to get your balls back. And don't be afraid of "what she will do if you stand up for yourself"- Not only will it NOT hurt your chances, but she will actually be shocked, impressed, and her panties will get wet, she may not understand why but they will. It will be sexy to her. To see you actually being a man. Thats what she WANTS, whether she consciously realizes it or not. Women do tests for a man, instinctively, to test his masculinity. When you react as you have been doing, you are showing you are not an alpha male. This lowers her attraction. Of course, the woman is going to act like she wants you to do all of these favors for her- for one, she would like the favors at least! And for two, if you ARE a p*ussy pushover deep down, she would like to know about it so she can dump you or cheat on you! But remember: You need to oppose what she "wants". It will turn her on more. You may not be smart or educated enough on psychology enough to understand it, but you need to trust me. Ive slept with over 40 girls. Not to brag just putting that out there.