Today, my friends were right about me being whipped. My girlfriend now has me setting an alarm for 3 hrs after she's fallen asleep, all so I can uncover her feet so she doesn't get too warm. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend of two years asked me why I would never tie her shoes for her. I confessed to her my deep hatred of feet. Later, I woke up from a nap next to my girlfriend. With her feet in my mouth. FML
Today, my girlfriend woke me at 5am, just to say how great it was that I could still sleep two more hours before leaving for work. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend takes videos of me sleeping and watches them with her friends. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me I could sleep in. Twenty minutes later, she was banging on the door, yelling, "Get up, fat lazy fuck! It's seven o'clock, we have chores! You expect me to do everything for your worthless ass!" FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend sleepwalks. Well, I say sleepwalks, more like sleep punches. Very, very hard. FML
Today, my husband woke me up at 3 AM by putting whipped cream on my hand and tickling my nose with a feather. FML
Today, after my girlfriend had a nightmare this morning, I stayed home because she has really bad anxiety issues. A couple of hours later, she's pissed because I said I would stay up, but I fell asleep. FML
Today, my girl and I got in a huge fight. Because I cuddled with her the wrong way. While I was asleep. FML
Today, I was woken up by my drunk girlfriend calling me and saying how much she loves me. She then stopped to tell the guy she was in bed with to be quiet because I might hear him. FML
Today, I woke up to my friend stroking my face with the bottom of his foot and whispering, "Shh, you're okay." FML
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Top comments
fullerkate3 17
**** that! You need to get your balls back
JayGatsby 25
Make her do it herself. If she has a problem, she can do it. I honestly don't understand why you are responsible for keeping her feet warm
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Comments (105)
fullerkate3 17
**** that! You need to get your balls back
Miss_Whipped 43
Or find someone as equally willing to spoil him.
UhHuhHoney 20
Before he turns into another Caitlyn Jenner.
whatarethisss 23
If her feet were so warm, she'd know and just uncover it herself. That's so inconsiderate of her.
StiffPvtParts 43
#31 Your username is very fitting to this FML xD
nomoreparty 11
He can not get them back as he lost to some pussy..
ChadHelton 8
if you're looking for your balls, check her purse, then dump her for someone who appreciates you, not takes advantage of you.
dBLIZZARD 20
Tell her to do it herself...
Redoxx_fml 22
Or better yet use a blow horn after 3 hours. That'll teach her
mds9986 24
Yeah I'd tell her to do it herself
JayGatsby 25
Make her do it herself. If she has a problem, she can do it. I honestly don't understand why you are responsible for keeping her feet warm
Thatissarcastic 17
And meanwhile I'm afraid to ask my boyfriend not to buy me things for fear I'll sound too demanding, and this girl is not afraid of asking for shit like this.
ChibiChibi_fml 28
He's not. He's responsible for keeping her feet cool so she doesn't get too warm. Either way though it's her issues to deal with. If it bothers her that much she can set her own damn alarms to wake up and uncover her feet. Realistically though most people will just naturally kick the covers off in their sleep if they start to over heat so I don't understand why she feels the need to schedule it at all.
pauliegon 18
You need to set boundaries, especially if her crazy decisions are negatively affecting your life like this.
FarmerGirl420 11
I'd keep that alarm on silent and tell her next time she better set her own alarm!
MrsPegg 45
Or just not set an alarm. If she's asleep, she'll never know the better. If she wakes him up and complains, then he needs to stand up to her and yank his jewels back.
Lilkat39 5
You need to walk away. Because you lost your balls, by putting pussy on a pedestal, there is no way you can recover from that with her. In the next relationship don't settle for less than the best for you.
whatwhatwhaaat 10
Respect yourself and get her to do it herself
Asinger06 1
You can say no. And if she breaks up with you for it, her loss. You are not her servant. You are in a relationship and should therefore be her equal. If you are not her equal, you need to put a stop to this selfish, spoiled behavior.
radiocaf 29
Yeah, er, I'm gonna have to go ahead and get your man card from you.