Today, I found out that my girlfriend sleepwalks. Well, I say sleepwalks, more like sleep punches. Very, very hard. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I learned that my girlfriend can sleepwalk. She got up, came into the living room where I was laying back against the sofa playing video games. I wasn't really paying much attention, until she stepped on my crotch, after which she left. She doesn't remember a thing. FML
Today, I woke up after my pregnant fiancée punched me in the face. Apparently, I rolled over in my sleep and knocked her out of bed. She is still pissed about it. FML
Today, I learned the hard way that my girlfriend’s young daughter sleepwalks. I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water, only to be greeted in the dimly lit hallway by her creepy silhouette. I yelped like a bitch and dropped the glass on my foot, breaking two toes. FML
Today, I discovered that my boyfriend, who has frequent night terrors, also sleepwalks. And apparently sleep-pisses on the bathroom rug. FML
Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML
Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be amusing to sneak into my room and jump me in my bed. Too bad that when she jumped, one of her knees landed on my crotch. I haven't been able to walk properly since this morning. FML
Today, I was woken up by my dog touching my foot, so I tried to push it away. Then I realized that I'd kicked my girlfriend in the face. FML
Today, my girlfriend woke me with a surprise up on my birthday. Unfortunately, it was her screaming at the top of her lungs and punching me in the face because of a nightmare. FML
Today, I leaned over my sleeping girlfriend, kissed her cheek and told her I love her. She punched me in the ear. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
thatnakedguy 17
No punchline?
Cads1 24
I am sure you did some thing to upset her in her dreams.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (43)
thatnakedguy 17
No punchline?
pdp_fml 21
Try to put a boxing glove on her hand.
hasooon 24
No body gets a way punching me. I would defiantly punch her back. Just kidding, Insure her safety. keep safe sleeping environment, free of harmful or sharp objects. Lock door and windows.
MidnaLink 35
*Definitely*
spatula232 25
*Ensure
Cads1 24
I am sure you did some thing to upset her in her dreams.
WCARlover 35
Sleep in full body armour from now on; it's the only solution.
morgball10 4
She claims she is "sleep punching", have you made her mad lately?
pooldude 24
While a sensible man in this position would comfort his girlfriend and probably take her to a sleep clinic, i would probably record her at night and send the video on AFV or post it on YouTube...
Rasdf 10
Hope she hits harder than Cena atleast.
Lalala579121 28
Next time she does it get your phone ready and just as she punches you play the "and his name is John Cena!" thing really loud.
Miss_Chevious 37
Am I the only one wondering who she punched in the dream?
Redoxx_fml 22
Everybody was kungfu fighting
derangedplanet 23
was the punch as fast lightening?