Today, I walked into my mother's house to find that she had knitted clothes for some of the household appliances. The toaster was wearing a dress. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out where a few of my favorite outfits went. My mother had taken them out of my closet, wrapped them, and given them to my cousin as a gift. FML
Today, my mother-in-law gave me a toaster and a fork as a wedding gift. FML
Today, I threw my clothes in the laundry and had only penguin pajamas to wear. My mother forgot to mention that she was expecting a handyman. Guess who got greeted by an adult woman in a penguin suit. FML
Today, I no longer have a toaster. My younger sister put it in the bath because apparently it looked dirty. FML
Today, my mom yelled at me for going through her closet for some warmer clothes. She had a rant about taking her clothes without her permission, all while wearing a pair of my boots and one of my sweaters. FML
Today, while many women have a wardrobe full of nothing-to-wear, my mom has a fridge full of nothing-to-eat and a living room full of nowhere-to-sit. FML
Today, I went to a thrift store and found heaps of clothes that I loved that fit me perfectly. Then I found a special distinctive dress. My dress. My dad had thrown away heaps of my clothes and I had to buy them all back. FML
Today, my mother had a full-on hissy fit because of the clothes I was wearing. Not because she thought they were inappropriate, but because I was "stealing her look." FML
Today, my partner and I went over to my mum’s for dinner. She’s not a formal person, so he wore a black fleece sweater. It was a nice, relaxed evening, until we got home and I had to attack him with the lint roller for what felt like half an hour. Yes, my mom has cats. FML
Today, a woman had a wardrobe malfunction right in front of me. As if that's not awkward enough, that woman was my own mother. FML
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Top comments
BRLHP 24
She should open a business. I like her idea.
FastidiousPear 6
Well, instead of always making toast warm, isn't it time the toaster deserved to be kept warm itself?
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Comments (134)
Felling 14
I hope it was at least a pretty dress for your sake OP. xD
chell1894 13
Sounds like she's lonely. Take her to lunch or something.
Schizomaniac 24
Chell, darling, though I'm sure Felling would love to take OP's mother to dinner, I think you meant to address the OP. FML has recently seen a drastic decrease in 1st comment thread-jacking, and as such I think the community likes to mercilessly beat in the faces of those who jeopardize this new achievement. Perhaps in the future you might consider not commenting on the first comment unless you want to address its content. Besides, your face is much too lovely to be mercilessly bashed in. :) Kindest Regards, Schizomaniac and the rest of the FML community
Maverick52 13
No, no, no you have it all wrong Felling. The toaster isn't wearing a dress it's wearing a pencil skirt which, in my opinion, is totally wrong for its rather rotund body structure. *snaps fingers*
BRLHP 24
She should open a business. I like her idea.
ncsteven10101010 11
I would definitely be interested. I always thought my blender would look better in a sweater!
klovemachine 24
How about a scarf for the refrigerator :-)
R4inb0wBrit3 13
Or a jacket for the coffee maker :)
zandalee 20
I've always rather fancied a frock on my kettle actually... A blue woolly one.
lilmisslovely13 15
I think thats adorable! I would buy them
TwinChapter 15
It's not a completely crazy idea! The women that is basically my second mother has a dress, name and gender for her dishwasher detergent. However, I admit that was put there when I was a child to make washing dishes 'funner', and that doing this to all of your appliances is odd, but it does make boring objects look pretty :)
Dashelle 25
I'd buy a toaster dress.
SoMuchWut 8
Somebody give her a medal
zandalee 20
...or a life, for the love of God!
blcksocks 19
If you give her a medal, she'll probably put it on the microwave as jewelry..
skittlestrailmix 14
For being the most hilarious person ever.
FastidiousPear 6
Well, instead of always making toast warm, isn't it time the toaster deserved to be kept warm itself?
asira 2
I like your thinking
Someone648 10
Well what kind of appliance owner would she be if she doesn't keep them warm in the winter...
ScruffyFML 10
Looks like she's really lonely. F her life. :/
mistercrow 9
Oh my gosh that is so awesome! I always did feel weird around my bare legged furniture. You should tell her to knit some clothes for the trees outside too :)
VScpu 3
She might, but Idk how you would even begin to put it on.
SmosherMe 6
35, zipper on the back?
GhostDuck 30
In the Victorian Era, they covered. Sofa (and other furniture's) legs because it was too... Erm, promiscuous.
MyCommentsSuck 21
Well the brave little toaster WAS kinda feminine in the movies...
AH1Zviper 15
Your username says it all.
pheebs314 17
So? It's her house. As long as it's removable so she can use it without starting a fire I don't see how it should make a difference to you at all. From the sound of it, you don't live with her.
Schizomaniac 24
"Some" of the appliances, eh? So what, others were just not good enough to deserve special treatment? What did they do wrong? Do they not meet her "standards"? That's bullshit. Disgusting.
Zebediabolical 45
Some of them are foreigners, I bet.
shan88 14
Whoa racist, we don't need you here
113421145311564 14
Omg these two.