Today, I realized that I’m old, and that it’s been too long since I had sex or even masturbated. How did I notice? Because I tried to, and I found out I couldn’t comfortably spread my legs that far anymore. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I realised I may have some kind of problem, given that I masturbate daily, and sex with my wife no longer interests me because it takes too long, involves her instead of me alone, is too much hard work, and generally annoys me. FML
Today, I realized how out of shape I am, when I couldn't finish masturbating because I ran out of breath. FML
Today, I reached a limit I wasn’t aware I had when I had to tell my husband we’re not having shower sex anymore because he’s gotten so big since he retired, we don’t both comfortably fit in there anymore. FML
Today, I haven't had sex for so long that my condoms have gone off. FML
Today, after 5 years of no intimate, sexual contact with a woman, I finally got my chance. Unfortunately, I also discovered that I have full-on erectile dysfunction. I'm 23 years old. FML
Today, I stood up wrong from the toilet, leading to me pulling a muscle in both of my thighs, just above the knees. This made me feel old, and even older when I immediately remembered this website from when I was still young. I'm 29 now. FML
Today, since splitting up with my girlfriend, I’ve watched so much porn I think I’ve given myself a friction burn on my clit, so now not only does it hurt to even walk normally, it’s way too painful to masturbate, so I’m now horny all the frigging time. FML
Today, I realised just how cripplingly self-conscious I am, when I couldn't even fantasise about having sex with a guy without feeling shy and insecure about my body. FML
Today, it’s been so long since I’ve had sex, even my wet dreams are about doing it solo. FML
Today, I fucked up by jacking off. I have trouble getting "in the mood" due to medication and other things, so when I do I'm excited to enjoy myself, though it often takes a while and a lot of physical effort to get there. However, in the process of getting off today, I threw out my back and my hip. I'm only 29. FML
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Top comments
xxlk4xx 6
I agree with others, get a hand held shower head with massage settings! also look up some yoga stretches, maybe for upper leg and hip area? my legs open just fine (🤣) but if I don't do some stretches daily then my lower back and hips get really tense and sore so doing stretches to open up that area really helps! just start slow! Wishing you all the best!
rainbowdonnareed 18
Get a handheld shower and an exercise bike. I'm disabled and overweight but not that far
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Comments (3)
rainbowdonnareed 18
Get a handheld shower and an exercise bike. I'm disabled and overweight but not that far
bleachedraven 14
That has to be frustrating. rainbowdonnareed's answer is a good solution till you regain your flexibility.
xxlk4xx 6
I agree with others, get a hand held shower head with massage settings! also look up some yoga stretches, maybe for upper leg and hip area? my legs open just fine (🤣) but if I don't do some stretches daily then my lower back and hips get really tense and sore so doing stretches to open up that area really helps! just start slow! Wishing you all the best!