Today, my family of five and I decided to have homemade sushi. We did not prepare the fish correctly, and now we all have excruciating food poisoning. The worst part? We only have one bathroom. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend and I both developed food poisoning from last night's sushi. Our apartment has one bathroom. FML
Today, my entire family, myself included, has been turned into a collective diarrhea fountain after going out to eat. We only have one bathroom. FML
Today, my husband and I are both suffering from food poisoning. He has horrible, raging, rank smelling, explosive diarrhea; I am vomiting every 15 minutes. We have one bathroom. FML
Today, I and several housemates have food poisoning. From what? Last night's Subway, which we only got to avoid eating the pork that was possibly bad as none of us wanted to be sick. FML
Today, I was hit by acute food poisoning while attending a colleague's birthday party at his home. The toilet had a door that wouldn't close all the way, there were only three sheets of toilet paper left, and I had to walk home through town, in a dress, with my soiled underwear in a plastic bag. FML
Today, I spent all day and last night in the bathroom. The seafood I'd been keeping in the refrigerator apparently had gone bad, and is now intent on finding its every possible route to the Great Porcelain Whirlpool. FML
Today, I got food poisoning from a restaurant that I had chosen for our company party. Everyone who went blamed me for their predicament. I also had to run to the toilet every ten minutes while they were all mad at me. FML
Today, I tried to cook a nice meal for my sister's friends. It turned out perfect and they enjoyed it, while I was in the bathroom throwing up for two hours due to food poisoning. FML
Today, I’m at my hometown for the weekend and bought my entire family takeaway for lunch without knowing my mom had cooked. Later, after finding out, I promised to eat it for dinner. Guess who is having food poisoning but can’t shit. The cramps are killing me. FML
Today, I got food poisoning from my wedding food. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
SuperDerp 8
What a cool and original pun about food poisoning.... This has not been said on other food poisoning FMLs or anything....
mazzera_fml 7
Something fishy is going on.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (171)
scottsteiner 1
i feel great negative vibe in you...take a deep breath...say Goos fra baah...and please life is precious don't be angry everytime... Ps Sarcasm alert for no brainers
demonkey_fml 4
Umm, never do this again... You can get nasty parasites (including roundworms, hookworms and tapeworms) from fish that hasn't been frozen at subzero temperatures and then rethawed. If you eat cooked fish, you have nothing to worry about, most parasites/worms are killed through the cooking process. According to U.S. Food and Drug Administration regulations, all fish meant to be served as sushi must be frozen for a specified period of time (usually a week) to kill lurking parasites. I hope that you did that...If not, time to visit the doctor and if you are feeling week over the next year, your B12 deficiency might be due to a 12 foot long tapeworm. Sorry about that! I too once ate raw tuna on sushi that someone caught on his boat, so I'm just as guilty of eating homemade raw sushi as OP is. Fortunately, that was 15 years ago and I'm still here. ;-)
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
Buy four other chamber pots. And bags or buckets for vomit.
Spazz420 7
Ya cuz while they are all puking they are supposed to go somewhere and buy puke buckets???? YDI
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
I deserved it? What the heck? And maybe a good family friend or other family member can bring one over. All that extra punctuation was not needed, either.
Spazz420 7
Didn't mean to type the ydi relax. Still it was a dumb suggestion
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
In your opinion, maybe. But a lot of other people have the same idea. So you're the odd one out, now. Majority rules. Case closed. *bangs gavel*
Spazz420 7
FOO GOO ME!!
rcgirl2 11
I bet you guys are fighting over that bathroom like Peter and Lois did.
Calyx_fml 22
Solution: a human centipede.
rahrah765765 11
I can't believe you suggested that! It does make so much sense though. Brilliant yet vile thinking if it actually worked and if they could find someone to stitch them up between squirty bum bouts! Holy shit!! How am I even deconstructing the possibly of them doing that!!! ... Look at what you made me do!
JustKittyKat 24
I made homemade sushi once too! But I avoided that by using smoked salmon instead of raw fish. What did we learn?
pengin 13
That sounds horrible. :/ I would really hope preparing such a thing as (raw) sushi you would look into it thoroughly and make sure you are following the proper guidelines. As someone mentioned above, you should only use fish that has been previously frozen and of the highest possible grade, which isn't easy to come by, etc etc. Hopefully you all just have this food poisoning and nothing anymore serious, like parasites/ permanent digestive problems which can be possible. I'm sorry, but whoever had the idea should've thought about food safety etc first. :/
at0mskaze 3
Sorry OP, but YDI. Sushi should be prepared by people who know how. I have read that many people have developed worms and other dangerous things in their stomachs by eating wrongly-prepared sushi. I hope that you and your family get better.
Incogneterpeter 1
There's a reason sushi chefs dedicate their life to that...