Today, I’m at my hometown for the weekend and bought my entire family takeaway for lunch without knowing my mom had cooked. Later, after finding out, I promised to eat it for dinner. Guess who is having food poisoning but can’t shit. The cramps are killing me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I didn't feel like cooking when I got home from work, so I decided to go to the local restaurant nearby and do my part in supporting small businesses. Long story short, I woke up later feeling like absolute shit. Hello, food poisoning. FML
Today, I was on holiday over the Christmas period and ended up with food poisoning. I spent most of the time on the toilet. I think I’ll stay home next time. FML
Today, I finally won an ongoing battle with my family to go to a restaurant I like, rather than a restaurant I hate with a passion. Now I'm throwing up, and my back is killing me. I'm the only one who got food poisoning. FML
Today, I had debilitating stomach cramps and told my mom, but she said she was too tired to take me to the ER. I had appendicitis. Thanks Mom. FML
Today, my mom was acting really pissy, and I couldn't help but mutter that she must be on her period. Five hours later, I'm glued to the toilet with my phone, because she went all out for revenge and spiked my dinner with some hellishly potent kind of laxative. FML
Today, I had food poisoning and woke up early in the morning to vomit. My mom emailed all of my teachers saying that I would be late to school because of "morning sickness". Thanks mom. FML
Today, I went out to eat to celebrate getting over the stomach flu. I hadn't eaten solid food in over a week, so I was really excited and ordered my favorite dish. It gave me food poisoning. FML
Today, after struggling with anorexia for months, I got food poisoning. FML
Today, my parents brought home lunch from a shady grocery store deli. They mused about how hard I am to feed because I turned it down; the last time I ate anything from there, it gave me botulism, and it tastes horrible anyway. They both got sick. Now I'm playing nurse to both. No apologies yet. FML
Today, after a week of staying in at night and fighting off a persistent cold, I was finally feeling well again, so I decided to go to my boyfriend's work BBQ. I got food poisoning. FML
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Top comments
newbiemalestr8 27
so who gave you the food poisoning do you think? take away or mom?
DLBL 23
Go the to ER and tell them you suspect food poisoning. If it's causing constipation or is paralyzing your colon, that's very serious.
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Comments (2)
DLBL 23
Go the to ER and tell them you suspect food poisoning. If it's causing constipation or is paralyzing your colon, that's very serious.
newbiemalestr8 27
so who gave you the food poisoning do you think? take away or mom?