Today, my family of five and I decided to have homemade sushi. We did not prepare the fish correctly, and now we all have excruciating food poisoning. The worst part? We only have one bathroom. FML
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Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend and I both developed food poisoning from last night's sushi. Our apartment has one bathroom. FML
Today, my entire family, myself included, has been turned into a collective diarrhea fountain after going out to eat. We only have one bathroom. FML
Today, my husband and I are both suffering from food poisoning. He has horrible, raging, rank smelling, explosive diarrhea; I am vomiting every 15 minutes. We have one bathroom. FML
Today, I and several housemates have food poisoning. From what? Last night's Subway, which we only got to avoid eating the pork that was possibly bad as none of us wanted to be sick. FML
Today, I was hit by acute food poisoning while attending a colleague's birthday party at his home. The toilet had a door that wouldn't close all the way, there were only three sheets of toilet paper left, and I had to walk home through town, in a dress, with my soiled underwear in a plastic bag. FML
Today, I spent all day and last night in the bathroom. The seafood I'd been keeping in the refrigerator apparently had gone bad, and is now intent on finding its every possible route to the Great Porcelain Whirlpool. FML
Today, I got food poisoning from a restaurant that I had chosen for our company party. Everyone who went blamed me for their predicament. I also had to run to the toilet every ten minutes while they were all mad at me. FML
Today, I tried to cook a nice meal for my sister's friends. It turned out perfect and they enjoyed it, while I was in the bathroom throwing up for two hours due to food poisoning. FML
Today, I’m at my hometown for the weekend and bought my entire family takeaway for lunch without knowing my mom had cooked. Later, after finding out, I promised to eat it for dinner. Guess who is having food poisoning but can’t shit. The cramps are killing me. FML
Today, I got food poisoning from my wedding food. FML
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Top comments
SuperDerp 8
What a cool and original pun about food poisoning.... This has not been said on other food poisoning FMLs or anything....
mazzera_fml 7
Something fishy is going on.
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Comments (171)
Icyghost17 10
This reminds me of that movie " bridesmaids"
scottsteiner 1
1 fish 6 $ mix of spices 1$ experience of suffering excruciating food poisoning and having only have one bathroom - Priceless
scottsteiner 1
put your shirt on your head and say- I am the great Cornholioooooo ! I need T.P. for my Bunghole! Come out with your pants down!
MissMae93 23
I didn't know 10 year olds were allowed on FML. Atleast, that's how old I'm judging you on based upon your sense of humor.
thatkidceleste 2
i didnt know 19 year old bitches were allowed on FML.
KiddNYC1O 22
It's from Beavis and Butthead... Definitely an adult cartoon.
skyeyez9 25
I hope there is a window in the bathroom at least? I couldn't imagine the stench of all the constant rotations of vomiting and diarrhea going on in there. Gah
SquishFish 15
Sounds like a fishy situation.... But seriously OP buy sushi grade fish next time. That stuff from a supermarket will definitely give you good poisoning.
Enslaved 38
I bet you'll never look at sushi the same again. I once ate bad oysters and got ill. Now I can't even look at them without thinking about that event. ): And I loved them.
misvenus000 4
Dumb ass
THE_A_TEEN 28
Not everyone can be the greatest sushi chef on the western world. By the way, you missed a period at the end and DUMBASS is one word.
misvenus000 4
You're an idiot. Go play in traffic.
stache67 2
You ain't Japanese! You ever see a white guy make sushi.....! Well then you don't live near an ocean, with that said fish gets nasty! It's like Trying to eat sushi in Chicago! Im sure it's safe! But how many connecting flights did it take for your sushi to get to its final destination! .
McNerdyNerd 8
Not picking a fight, but did you try to cram at least 3 stereotypes in this comment or was it all an accident? Haha
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
It says OP is from California. And yes, I've seen just about every race make sushi (even white people). My dad loves Japanese food so we make sushi at home a lot (minus the raw fish). Yes, we're black.
stache67 2
OP's got taste Dear, and really OP? WTF your racist!
thatfag 0
Sushi gives you parasites, anyway.
Schiffy 18
Only if prepared incorrectly. If the person preparing it knows how to do it (such as in any restaurant that specializes in sushi), it's completely clean.
bjf10 22
#41 - by that rationale, so does pork. Both do only when prepared incorrectly.
krewer21 1
Amateur acts, such as this often end in sorry situations. OP, it's easy to think, how difficult can it be, only to feel lost in the process. If you ignored your gut reaction before you ate, YDI. If you honestly thought, cool! Well, there may be a Darwin Award in your future.