Today, my family of five and I decided to have homemade sushi. We did not prepare the fish correctly, and now we all have excruciating food poisoning. The worst part? We only have one bathroom. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend and I both developed food poisoning from last night's sushi. Our apartment has one bathroom. FML
Today, my entire family, myself included, has been turned into a collective diarrhea fountain after going out to eat. We only have one bathroom. FML
Today, my husband and I are both suffering from food poisoning. He has horrible, raging, rank smelling, explosive diarrhea; I am vomiting every 15 minutes. We have one bathroom. FML
Today, I and several housemates have food poisoning. From what? Last night's Subway, which we only got to avoid eating the pork that was possibly bad as none of us wanted to be sick. FML
Today, I was hit by acute food poisoning while attending a colleague's birthday party at his home. The toilet had a door that wouldn't close all the way, there were only three sheets of toilet paper left, and I had to walk home through town, in a dress, with my soiled underwear in a plastic bag. FML
Today, I spent all day and last night in the bathroom. The seafood I'd been keeping in the refrigerator apparently had gone bad, and is now intent on finding its every possible route to the Great Porcelain Whirlpool. FML
Today, I got food poisoning from a restaurant that I had chosen for our company party. Everyone who went blamed me for their predicament. I also had to run to the toilet every ten minutes while they were all mad at me. FML
Today, I tried to cook a nice meal for my sister's friends. It turned out perfect and they enjoyed it, while I was in the bathroom throwing up for two hours due to food poisoning. FML
Today, I’m at my hometown for the weekend and bought my entire family takeaway for lunch without knowing my mom had cooked. Later, after finding out, I promised to eat it for dinner. Guess who is having food poisoning but can’t shit. The cramps are killing me. FML
Today, I got food poisoning from my wedding food. FML
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Top comments
SuperDerp 8
What a cool and original pun about food poisoning.... This has not been said on other food poisoning FMLs or anything....
mazzera_fml 7
Something fishy is going on.
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Comments (171)
jcalvinrice 0
It's coming out like lava! Lol
CrazyManNo9 29
I could pull fresh fish out of the ocean and eat it all day long and not get food poisoning. You could probably eat the guts on most fish and not get food poisoning. The puffer fish will kill you, for sure. A few others may make you ill, I suppose. But, for the most part, fresh fish is good eats.
FMMFL1992 3
I see Alan got to this comment.
JaneDoexD 8
That sucks have you ever seen the movie bridesmaidsx) "this sinks a goner it's coming out of me like lava"
AshbyMalpass 1
Vomit, vomit everywhere
andiiturtle 0
But their are sushi rolls that are completely raw fish, salmon being one :| maybe you guys shouldn't eat fish if you guys have sensitive stomachs? Anyways get better!
chelly305 1
Why the **** do you have one bathroom for a family of five!!!?
alliebaba7 8
Ok you take the toilet and forget about everyone else lol jk Poor people. You can always ask to use a neighbors bathroom too Ps. Leave sushi making to the professionals at the sushi restaurant
vettle 6
I could never trust myself to make real fish sushi at home!
bluetech 12
Which is why I will only make homemade sushi using smoked salmon, cooked shrimp, fake crabmeat, avocado, vegetables.