Today, my family of five and I decided to have homemade sushi. We did not prepare the fish correctly, and now we all have excruciating food poisoning. The worst part? We only have one bathroom. FML
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Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend and I both developed food poisoning from last night's sushi. Our apartment has one bathroom. FML
Today, my entire family, myself included, has been turned into a collective diarrhea fountain after going out to eat. We only have one bathroom. FML
Today, my husband and I are both suffering from food poisoning. He has horrible, raging, rank smelling, explosive diarrhea; I am vomiting every 15 minutes. We have one bathroom. FML
Today, I and several housemates have food poisoning. From what? Last night's Subway, which we only got to avoid eating the pork that was possibly bad as none of us wanted to be sick. FML
Today, I was hit by acute food poisoning while attending a colleague's birthday party at his home. The toilet had a door that wouldn't close all the way, there were only three sheets of toilet paper left, and I had to walk home through town, in a dress, with my soiled underwear in a plastic bag. FML
Today, I spent all day and last night in the bathroom. The seafood I'd been keeping in the refrigerator apparently had gone bad, and is now intent on finding its every possible route to the Great Porcelain Whirlpool. FML
Today, I got food poisoning from a restaurant that I had chosen for our company party. Everyone who went blamed me for their predicament. I also had to run to the toilet every ten minutes while they were all mad at me. FML
Today, I tried to cook a nice meal for my sister's friends. It turned out perfect and they enjoyed it, while I was in the bathroom throwing up for two hours due to food poisoning. FML
Today, I’m at my hometown for the weekend and bought my entire family takeaway for lunch without knowing my mom had cooked. Later, after finding out, I promised to eat it for dinner. Guess who is having food poisoning but can’t shit. The cramps are killing me. FML
Today, I got food poisoning from my wedding food. FML
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Top comments
SuperDerp 8
What a cool and original pun about food poisoning.... This has not been said on other food poisoning FMLs or anything....
mazzera_fml 7
Something fishy is going on.
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Comments (171)
TheChelseaSays 34
Getting food poisoning is like my biggest fear when I cook. I would never attempt to cook homemade sushi. Leave that for the professionals.
imazaari 12
By "not preparing the fish properly" do you mean that you left it out of the fridge for too long before slicing it to serve? Or do you really mean that you went to the local supermarket, bought some fish and assumed it would be safe to eat? Fish is either safe to eat raw or it isn't, it's not like you cut it a certain way and get food poisoning. I get the feeling that this is your fault.
kaylap4life 3
Well, hopefully I one on the toilet,1 on the bathroom sink, 2 on the tub and hopefully you got a boulle wide sink for 2 more if needed
PurpleLover20 11
It would be a good idea to get buckets make sure you get alot of buckets lol
OrokuSaki 7
depends on where you live. time to go dig a hole in the ground and let it go...