Today, I went with my friend door-to-door selling chocolates. We went to the first house, and the guy decided to buy a chocolate from each of us. He didn't have change and neither did we, so he just took the chocolates and slammed the door in our face. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a group of Girl Scouts came to my door selling chocolate bars. I bought two bars and smiled as they left, thinking I'd done a good deed. When the door closed, I heard one of the girls say, "Told you, the fat bitches always wanna buy from us." FML
Today, I ate a chocolate bar before getting my morning coffee. While waiting for it, a good looking guy started talking to me, then suddenly lost interest. Afterwards, I saw the chocolate on my face in my car mirror. FML
Today, I went to a corner store to restock my chocolate stash. A guy from work walked in to see me and the cashier arguing about the amount of candy I was trying to buy with a jar of pennies. He took one look at me and said, "That time of the month, eh?" FML
Today, my husband had a temper tantrum because I wouldn't get him a chocolate bar at the store register. FML
Today, I brought a huge chocolate bar to work, left it in the break room, and came back to find it gone. Later, I saw a coworker with chocolate all over his face and fingers. I asked him if he took it, and he said, in almost offended tone, “What? No, that’s mine.” FML
Today, while at my job in a candy store, a boy stuck his hand into the bin, contaminating the candy. As I politely explained that the dad had to purchase the affected candy he refused, yelled, then angrily agreed to buy them. The total cost of the candy with the extra pieces? $1.69. FML
Today, I work at a general store and a customer came in trying to bargain a set price of an item. The item? A 50 cent candy bar. He wanted it for 34 cents. This is not the first time he's done this. FML
Today, I went to the doctor, only to find out I can no longer eat chocolate, my favorite food. When I got home, my boyfriend took the chocolate cake I'd been eating from the fridge, sat down in front of me, and ate the whole thing without breaking eye contact. FML
Today, a door-to-door salesman came to my apartment. I was too lazy to change from my teddy bear print pajamas, fuzzy socks and pink slippers when opening the door to him. He took one look at me and asked, "Hello darling, are your mommy and daddy home?" I'm 22 and live here on my own. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me a fancy chocolate candy and I got angry at him for forgetting that I'm allergic to chocolate and threw the candy into the garbage disposal. Turns out, he had spent a ton of money getting a chocolatier to put an engagement ring inside the candy that I just destroyed. FML
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Top comments
that1guyyy 12
Did you say...chocolate? CHOCOLaAATE!!!!
x_KL_x 7
Kick his door in and take his wallet. They teach you that stuff in girl scouts right??
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Comments (123)
melissafleming 7
how is this a fml?
that1guyyy 12
Did you say...chocolate? CHOCOLaAATE!!!!
jkmartinjk 16
Should've had change.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
No, she said "anal fisting". They were selling anal fisting services. You need to stop thinking about food.
xSonic 9
Dude......you must be on Shrooms.......or shrooms on acids
CalebEatsZombies 2
Shroomsonacid, trolling like a bitch eh mate?
ihavenosoul 4
Spongebob reference.
that1guyyy 12
Aw come on. That's a quote from Spongebob. And no, that's not me in the pic.
DoWnW4RdsPiR4L 7
Lol nice spongebob reference #2
ShroomsOnAcid 17
15 Your intelligence is simply astounding. 17, This ain't trolling, mate.
CalebEatsZombies 2
27 Kay but uh wouldn't it in a circumstance be considered trolling seeing how you did say anal dusting as a sarcastic reference? Eh I don't know
CalebEatsZombies 2
Excuse me spell check sorry I meant Fisting
xSonic 9
I'm probably more dumb to think I was clever.... :( I should just take an arrow to the knee
xSonic 9
You know..... I thought I was being clever, but it's time I take an arrow to the knee then...
Keyman1212 14
Anal dusting is the greatest service offered to man. You don't know how often my anus accumulates dust. It's nice to have a little Philippino man come clean it up for you. He's very descrete and if you ask for the "afternoon special" he'll even dust your balls off!! Five stars, without a doubt.
poppylamonzo 0
No hating on Filipinos. And did anyone notice there is no #1 comment??
Keyman1212 14
Probably cause #1 said First!!!11!
EvilPotato 15
33 can't tell if you are really stupid, or if you are trying to troll.
MizzErikaHart 8
Anal dusting, lol
Jakesterk96 8
Well it does get dusty down there....
graham11 14
30- brooms aren't really my personal favorite. I prefer mops for dusting.
ShadesOfBlue5 9
Sweet, sweet chocolate.
riotshield 3
Get over here you lazy nellie and start rubbing me with that chocolate!
great_cornholio 0
Where is #1?
x_KL_x 7
Kick his door in and take his wallet. They teach you that stuff in girl scouts right??
trollfaced 2
He got trolled, that sounds better, eh? Why go door to door selling chocolate anyways? That's why you sell it at schools
soccerguy2 11
they get taught scary shit in girl scouts. I had an experience like that once. I now never leave my house.
TylerMerritt 0
nice photo - HARRY POTTER PUPPET PALS ARE AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ddinspire6 10
CHOCOLATE!!!!!!
Brice28_fml 10
All I can think of now is spongebob!
ciarafox9 9
That's the way to do it!
supersmeg12345 10
Where in the great land of Eire are ye from?
yahoowizard 16
Stalker much?
ScarletBloom 14
He is a cookie monster.
construction 7
It was chocolate
deviable 9
Put that cookie down, now!
tylersign 11
He is a chocolate monster? No.. It just isn't the same.
xSonic 9
Give the Singaporean lady a break guys :)
Rainchikmoo 6
You should have bombarded into his house and took 'em back!
nightfire2258 24
Good way to get shot.
vballgurl806 3
You should have bought candy bar bags, then a big bag for your candy bar bags. Duh.
TheClumsiest 0
?
CalebEatsZombies 2
Then he would take all of it derp
MurphyS94 4
...so then he would get the candy AND a free bag?
okmankk 4
It is a sponge bob reference like #2's comment
fuzzy4msymba 0
Ouch! Maybe start bringing change with you! Always smart when your dealing with that kind of sittuation.
niniloka 2
break that muthafuckin door down!!!