Today, my husband and I are both suffering from food poisoning. He has horrible, raging, rank smelling, explosive diarrhea; I am vomiting every 15 minutes. We have one bathroom. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my entire family, myself included, has been turned into a collective diarrhea fountain after going out to eat. We only have one bathroom. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I both developed food poisoning from last night's sushi. Our apartment has one bathroom. FML
Today, my family of five and I decided to have homemade sushi. We did not prepare the fish correctly, and now we all have excruciating food poisoning. The worst part? We only have one bathroom. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were finally able to settle on having a day out together after putting it off for months because of work/other random reasons. This morning I woke up with the worst case of diarrhea I’ve ever had in my life. I won’t be leaving the bathroom anytime soon. FML
Today, while my husband and I are both stuck in the bathroom from food poisoning, our 3-year-old son is taking advantage of his freedom. All I can hear is banging noises and wild laughter. I'm afraid to leave the bathroom. FML
Today, I warned my husband not to eat the seafood he'd left on the counter. He insisted it was fine. He’s now been in the bathroom shitting, puking and wailing for three hours. Our place is tiny and the bathroom is attached to our bedroom. The door doesn’t keep out the noise or the rancid smell. FML
Today, my 3 year-old woke up with diarrhea. The stench caused him to throw up. My husband started sympathy puking all over the floor. I'm so exhausted already that I'm considering just burning the damn house down to avoid cleaning it all up. FML
Today, I've been horribly sick with a stomach virus. Six hours ago, I asked my husband to go to the store and get me a few things that would help ease my misery. He's still in bed and I'm cleaning the house in between bouts of vomiting. FML
Today, my morning sickness has been so bad that my husband's farts send me running to the bathroom. He thinks it's hilarious, and has been following me around all day trying to crack one off in my face. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Zmeilerr 22
Use a bucket.
spazticechidna 2
Vomit in the kitchen sink instead.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (93)
Zmeilerr 22
Use a bucket.
ACanadaGuy 0
^This
rkcxenocide 0
Slop bucket.
kikibisweet 0
I had food poisoning once and it was coming out of both ends if you know what I mean.
clarkbrianna11 0
Sounds like you need Orbit! :)
lolmigosh 15
I was just about to say that!
Zmeilerr 22
Can a mod delete this please? Double post -__-
unfortunate_13 5
he takes the toilet, you take the sink?
daisiebud 18
the only thing i would be worried about is that, if it's chunky, it might clog the sink up. however, since it's every fifteen minutes, this seems highly unlikely. go with the sink.
teentee401 37
Nnnnnn idstd
spazticechidna 2
Vomit in the kitchen sink instead.
ahriel 0
I was gunna suggest that..
Filitov 0
I was also going to advise this. Unless their kitchen sink doesn't have a garbage disposal, in which case she would probably be better off using a bucket or trash can.
toxic_fml 0
Yeah, easy enough for you to use a bowl or bucket.
Your_Moms_Mom 0
Hahaha.
Anubyte 0
nice
nicesprites 4
this makes for good bonding
gingervitus0901 5
that's hilarious
eddy199427 2
oooh love! how it works? nobody knows
krysxkatastrophe 14
Sounds like a shitty situation!
mashnikandporter 0
**** you.
bonbon805 0
lol