Today, my family of five and I decided to have homemade sushi. We did not prepare the fish correctly, and now we all have excruciating food poisoning. The worst part? We only have one bathroom. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my girlfriend and I both developed food poisoning from last night's sushi. Our apartment has one bathroom. FML
Today, my entire family, myself included, has been turned into a collective diarrhea fountain after going out to eat. We only have one bathroom. FML
Today, my husband and I are both suffering from food poisoning. He has horrible, raging, rank smelling, explosive diarrhea; I am vomiting every 15 minutes. We have one bathroom. FML
Today, I and several housemates have food poisoning. From what? Last night's Subway, which we only got to avoid eating the pork that was possibly bad as none of us wanted to be sick. FML
Today, I was hit by acute food poisoning while attending a colleague's birthday party at his home. The toilet had a door that wouldn't close all the way, there were only three sheets of toilet paper left, and I had to walk home through town, in a dress, with my soiled underwear in a plastic bag. FML
Today, I spent all day and last night in the bathroom. The seafood I'd been keeping in the refrigerator apparently had gone bad, and is now intent on finding its every possible route to the Great Porcelain Whirlpool. FML
Today, I got food poisoning from a restaurant that I had chosen for our company party. Everyone who went blamed me for their predicament. I also had to run to the toilet every ten minutes while they were all mad at me. FML
Today, I tried to cook a nice meal for my sister's friends. It turned out perfect and they enjoyed it, while I was in the bathroom throwing up for two hours due to food poisoning. FML
Today, I’m at my hometown for the weekend and bought my entire family takeaway for lunch without knowing my mom had cooked. Later, after finding out, I promised to eat it for dinner. Guess who is having food poisoning but can’t shit. The cramps are killing me. FML
Today, I got food poisoning from my wedding food. FML
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Top comments
SuperDerp 8
What a cool and original pun about food poisoning.... This has not been said on other food poisoning FMLs or anything....
mazzera_fml 7
Something fishy is going on.
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Comments (171)
saIty 17
Invade all the neighbor's bathroom! If not possible, one can use the bathroom sink, one can use the kitchen sink, one can use the toilet, and the other two can share the bathtub.
petraphotoDOTca 6
lmao. disgusting but logical....
SB1010 0
Shit happens... Get it cause they have to... Never mind, sorry OP!!! Thats a really shitty situation!!!
MissMae93 23
If your comment contains: a) an explanation to a pun or b) two terrible puns, don't even bother posting it. It will be thumbed down.
klovemachine 24
Maybe if we ignore these terrible puns they will go away :O
AidenSurvival 7
My stomach can handle everything. Give that unprepared sushi to me.
peachesncreem 21
53 - just the thought of a gas station bathroom floor was enough to make me vomit a little. Ugh!
Alastrina_fml 20
Sushi-grade fish is only sold to the sushi restaurants, to my knowledge. Also, the salmon used in sushi bars is always Atlantic salmon. For some reason, Pacific salmon is only good for cooking, not for serving raw. I hate to say it, but as a fellow Californian, you brought it on yourself.
ScaughtieHolden 11
That's why my dad and I bought sushi grade tuna from a fish shop last week? Mmm Tuna Tataki... Sear for 30 seconds on each side, no longer.
TheDrifter 24
A lot of asian markets in LA and Sacramento carry sushi grade fish. The problem isn't usually in finding the right fish, but in teaching people what "clean" means before preparation.
thiscrazything 1
I have seen it sold at Sams club as well.
krylonpony 3
Wonder if Bear Grylls ever did this in like..Greenland or something and Didnt shit because the stool contained heat for survival. Yet he still drank his piss for hydration in a winter wonderland.
mannykatany 9
You have 6 people in one house with 1 bathroom?
ebonyirony 29
Not everyone can afford too many bathrooms.
CaptTeemo 10
It's also a family of 5 and not 6
scottsteiner 1
you know what do they do in India - take a steel mug called Lota fill it with water and go in the lap of nature- the fields... but i dont suppose u will be able to do that:-P
Jac_d_ipper 10
Do you do that?
starwind3438 9
Every one of "that's a shitty situation" needs to be moderated in my opinion. They are overused, not funny and the person posting it lacks originality. I'm sorry if this sounds harsh or me being a dick but that's how I feel.
lelo007 11
Looks like it's time for a family vacation to the ER.
ManInTheMachine 20
I hope you were able to maki-run for the bathroom, and your stomach wasabi-t better afterwards. If not, then then the food poisoning episode is tobiko-ntinued at a friend's/neighbor's house, and hopefully they weren't too crabby about it. That's all the sushi puns I could muster. That was a HUGE stretch. I apologize in advance.
greenie213 23
In the words of Ted Nugent. "It's a Free for All!"
MURIKKA 11
NEVER quote that nut job. His level of insanity is on par with Michelle Bachman and Sarah Palin.
greenie213 23
I know! Saw him live in concert. You could see the crazy in his eyes from the eleventh row.