Today, I watched my girlfriend slowly floss her teeth, and then eat what showed up on the floss. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up to my girlfriend wiping a booger off her finger and onto my lip. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got to the stage in our relationship where she thinks its okay to change her tampon whilst I brush my teeth. FML
Today, my girlfriend caught me picking my nose and eating the booger. FML
Today, I had to show my husband a video on how to brush your teeth. FML
Today, while at a restaurant, I watched in horror as my daughter picked a hair out of her food and continued eating it. FML
Today, I was making out with a girl who I've had a crush on for a while now. It was all going fine until one of my teeth decided to dislodge itself. She promptly spat out the tooth and left. FML
Today, my girlfriend went in for a kiss too fast and broke my front tooth. FML
Today, I was kissing my crush for the first time and her tooth fell out into my mouth. FML
Today, my girlfriend got pissed when I told her she needed to brush her teeth more than once a day. I could smell her breath from across the bed. FML
Today, I saw my dad pick his teeth with a toothpick from a new box. He ate the food he got out of his teeth and put the toothpick back. FML
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Top comments
chickenwalrus 14
does she put the poop back in her butt after she wipes too?
1Brucie 2
Meh you get to kiss her it's your fLoss :)
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Comments (193)
kotana191 8
send it to the tummy where it should have gone the first time. let that food chunk fulfill it's destiny of being digested
supportcommand 17
Plaque belongs in your tummy?
Radi0activ3 15
Floss shouldn't be picking up plaque. That's what your toothbrush is for. Floss just gets the little bits of food that get stuck in between your teeth and in your gums.
TheDrifter 24
Well it was intended for digestion when it first entered her mouth, mostly. Which brings me to my important question: all of it, or did she at least pick out the old pubic hairs before they just got stuck in her teeth again?
caplox 6
what the ****
Ryan_Jaxson 8
I think what Drifter meant was the floss was OP's pubes. Sorry Drifter, OP didn't mean it that way.
TheDrifter 24
No, what I meant was that OP likely flossed a few stay pubes out that had been stuck in her teeth. It popped into my head and I felt obliged to share it with the world.
caplox 6
Again, what the ****.
vannahlol 6
I get having a dry sense of humor but this is just.. no. I don't know who would NOT notice pubes in their mouth, especially if the pubes were there long enough to get stuck in their teeth.. One positive thing after reading your comment, I now feel lucky that I've never had to experience pubes in my mouth.
love_me_electric 20
Oh god that's disgusting. Every piece of gunk she picks off that floss and eats has thousands of bacteria on it.
Welshite 40
It's in her mouth. You do know you naturally swallow saliva and mucus right?
love_me_electric 20
I think there's a difference between swallowing saliva (which is mostly water and enzymes) and eating an entire growing colony of bacteria that you picked out from between your teeth. I know it's not gonna kill you or anything but there's still something very icky about it when I picture it in my head.
the_enigma1019 1
I'm sorry to break this to you, there are literally more bacterial cells in and on your body than there are human cells, a couple more in her stomach isnt going to kill her.
geon_olam 17
80- I dare you to go lick a Petri dish with growing E. coli.
the_enigma1019 1
Albeit most are harmless, but nasty... E. Coli isn't something you find in your mouth everyday... Nevertheless, touché 85
amandajlucas2015 2
#80 stop being an ass.. He said that he knew it wouldn't kill her he just thought it was gross so get ur facts straight
ShyAnn29 15
85, E-coli can make you very sick!
the_enigma1019 1
It would appear I failed to recognize the commenter's name (and iPod pictures don't load right) I offer my full apology to love_me_electric.
Feklfekl2222 32
Tbh the plaque would be destroyed in her stomach so it's probably for the best
cami197934 3
So what?? It was already in her mouth and it would have dislodged and she would have eventually swallowed it anyways!
intelliDude 7
I agree. There's nothing wrong with it. It was sitting in her mouth anyway, so eating it is not any worse. Also, it's cooked food, not raw meat.
nop200 3
Actually she would not have swallowed it if she had just thrown the floss away like a normal person.
daminantion 14
43- ignorance is bliss I suppose ^_^
MrHotShot22 6
Mama did always say don't waste food.
perdix 31
You mean eat it again. If it was stuck between her teeth, the food got detoured on its trip to her belly. She's just finishing off her food.
CJ0106 1
Lol perdix I just saw you on artoftrolling.com
chatwithstar 7
what if she drinks her mouthwash after she uses it?? lol
love_me_electric 20
Or spits it back in the bottle like someone from a previous FML did
CaptTeemo 10
Never swallow mouthwash. It's dangerous. The comment above me is what's really nasty
thefallenqueen 5
wow eating cereal while reading this was a huge mistake. I almost threw up
CyborgBanana 12
Holy shit you have a weak stomach if that's the case.
SeeNote 1
Oh god thats ridiculous. Wheres the appropriateness these days?
coffeechick68 1
This made me throw up a little in my mouth