Today, my husband shit himself a little during sex, but tried to keep going because he was "so close" and didn’t want to ruin the orgasm. I, of course, shoved him away but it was already down my leg and had stained our cream bedsheets. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my husband insisted a man can orgasm without cumming if he just clenches hard enough, so of course he went ahead and tried. He got such a powerful cramp in his groin, he shat himself on our cream carpet. Then as I tried to help, he came anyway, right into my fucking eye. FML
Today, in the middle of sex, I was desperate for a fart but tried to hold it in so we weren't forced to stop halfway. Unfortunately, I accidentally let the fart escape, along with runny diarrhea, all over my husband's legs and groin. The smell caused him to vomit all over me. FML
Today, my husband got drunk, which was bad enough, but then he got me to the point where I wanted sex too, so I let him climb aboard. He was inside me for 3 thrusts and then stopped. He’d fallen asleep, so I pushed him off me, mad as hell, then he farted and shit a little bit. I married this twat. FML
Today, my husband and I were just about to have sex. The last few months have been a shitstorm of stress, personal tragedy, financial crises, and family drama. When we finally got a moment to ourselves, I was struck with a literal shitstorm in the form of agonizing diarrhea. It’s been two hours now. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex, but every time he thrust into me, he farted. Loud, smelly, wet farts. After a minute, I shoved him off and demanded he take a dump. After a full five minutes of loud diarrhea, he came back to bed, his ass stinking of sewage. My pussy dried up so fast… FML
Today, my husband came too soon during sex. He then tried to pretend it didn't happen and continued. He humped me with a half-erect noodle for about seven minutes before I finally called him out. FML
Today, I accidentally sharted during sex with a guy I’ve been seeing. I was seriously embarrassed, but he was excited about “new territory we can explore together.” FML
Today, after I returned from business dinner at a hibachi restaurant, my wife decided she wanted sex for the first time in years on a weekday. We did it and I pooped a little on “our” stupid white comforter. FML
Today, after some passionate love making with my husband, I accidentally farted on his leg. He shrieked and frantically began shaking his leg while screaming, "Get it off! Get it off!" FML
Today, as my husband normally initiates sex and sometimes I want to but always chicken out, I was feeling brave and did so. After he came, he continued working on me and I farted. I embarrassingly apologized and he said it was ok and kept going. I then continued to fart, and I had to stop. FML
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Top comments
cuz803 46
That's what happens when you **** the shit outta someone...literally...
Bonniibiik 6
This is a breach of consent. Absolutely not wtf
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Comments (7)
cuz803 46
That's what happens when you **** the shit outta someone...literally...
Bonniibiik 6
This is a breach of consent. Absolutely not wtf
Hangryko 32
Yup, 100% breach of consent. What he did was not okay.
RichardPencil 32
I'm sure as he was getting so close to an ****** for himself, he pushed you way away from one of your own. Unless you're into that kinda shit. If you were, this wouldn't be an FML, I suppose. Sorry about the ruined bedding. Sounds like a... ...wait on it... ...sheety shituation.
Vesi 30
Sheets aside, if that had gotten inside you, holy mother would you be looking at some *serious* infections!
Hangryko 32
And now he must sleep on the couch for a week. With pants on.
dougierocks 13
Keep your fingers outta his butt!