Wuss
Today, my girlfriend and I got to the stage in our relationship where she thinks its okay to change her tampon whilst I brush my teeth. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got to the stage in our relationship where she thinks its okay to change her tampon whilst I brush my teeth. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I watched my girlfriend slowly floss her teeth, and then eat what showed up on the floss. FML
Today, my girlfriend got pissed when I told her she needed to brush her teeth more than once a day. I could smell her breath from across the bed. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me how women could urinate with a tampon in. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I refused to share a toothbrush with her. FML
Today, I decided to make the switch from pads to tampons. My boyfriend ended up having to show me how to apply them. FML
Today, my boyfriend confessed that after every fight we have, he dips my toothbrush in the toilet. FML
Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. My girlfriend had agreed to come over after and make sure I was okay, so I called her, saying I was done. She told me she'd made new plans, and to "just suck on a tampon, you pussy". FML
Today, my girlfriend and I got into an argument while she was in the bathroom. I told her I was leaving her because she's too needy. She came out of the bathroom and threw her used tampon at me. FML
Today, I learned that when I leave skid marks in the toilet my wife uses my toothbrush to remove them. FML
Today, my girlfriend decided we are ready for the next step in our relationship. Apparently that next step is her taking a dump with the door open. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
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Top comments
mightybrit 6
I really don't think there is any stage in a relationship where that would be okay. FYL haha
AbbyRocksYourSoc 3
Sorry for you OP. That's bloody ridiculous.
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Comments (179)
lamort_fml 4
Dafuq did I just read
DontModMeDammit 10
You sir just read a short story called a FML.
domking1315 20
Why Dafuq cant you come up with an original joke?
ManInTheMachine 20
Another unfortunate victim of the heavy burden of first post. Remove your hats, men. We've lost another one. *Funeral music plays in background*
zachherbert 10
24- He was so young... He had a whole life in front of him! *sobs*
notyobabymomma 4
Ok I usually don't do this but I believe it's *an* FML not a FML
midnight165 5
Hahahaha.. This is exactly what my brain said after reading this fml
DontModMeDammit 10
35, I believe (I'm not an English major so not 100% sure) but you use "an" when the following word starts with a vowel.
DLBL 23
Yes, by pronunciation, not necessarily spelling.
b3tazoid 5
Correct.
Drigr 9
Hey it's the greatest thing ever, cause you know she's not prego
BinaBina_XD 7
47-You just blew my mind. I've never thought about that before now xD
ScaughtieHolden 11
An FuckMyLife?
aksweetheart 7
85- refer to your picture for my comment to you... 35 and 54 are correct. When the word SOUNDS like it starts with a vowel, you use an, even if it doesn't actually start with a vowel (therefore it is AN FML because you pronounce it EFF-EMM-ELL)
Quinn32 16
54 and 90- You are both wrong. The correct pronunciation is clearly "fim-ill". Don't even try to deny it.
GrammarNazzzzzi 6
90, 35 and 54 are correct. Everyone else, stay in school!
ifknh8usernames 7
47 - like 54 said, it's the sound of a vowel that requires the use of "an". The word hour starts with a consonant but you still don't say a hour. You use an because of the vowel sound.
zandalee 20
Hey everyone chill out. It's Friday for the love of God! Yay
cheetahbaby96 8
136- But it's Thursday... o_O
HALAL_fml 0
35 its not an fml f in not a vowel
zandalee 20
Friday in Australia!
Zangetsu67 5
Awesome comment man
DontModMeDammit 10
"it's Friday, Friday...........," welcome all.
pinkelephantz 2
Dafuq is a commonly used joke amongst the Internet. Ever heard of a meme? gtfo.
My_Nightmare 19
Just to clear up this whole "a or an FML" thing. It's a FML because FML is an acronym for **** my life. You would say "a **** my life" not "an **** my life". Therefore, you would write "a FML".
ThisIsMyReign 4
Reminds of the movie "Step brothers". I can solve this "Pan, Pam problem".
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
I guess it all depends on what you say. If you say " I'm ready A fuckmylife " then it would be a, but if you say " I'm reading an FML ", then it's an. But seriously, even though it's an acronym, " a FML" sounds retarded.
zainrock 2
143 - Are you intentionally being thick?
AvengedSevenfold_fml_fml 12
Wow people, enough bickering. It can be either "an" or "a" depending on the form you're using, whether it be the acronym, or the full words. There, you're all right.
mickyb10 13
No it does matter because acronyms are ok. However not using 'a' or 'an' correctly is leading to a illiterate america. I'm 13 and i get basic grammar come on people
ManInTheMachine 20
214-*an illiterate Now please do continue. I was enjoying your speech.
babe7260 30
No shit!!!!
PenguinSwag47 0
Facepalm.
simplylost643 0
#214- No, no you don't. Keep studying. I'm also going to guess that punctuation is next year, right?
ohxdamnxkay02 12
its honestly not that big of a deal, it is just a tampon.
Pentium_4 27
it took a lot of up and down scrolling to get the full dose of this thread. i've concluded that some people are just not that bright
lolfood 24
Touché Pentium.
Franorox 8
Nope
thanazon 6
Your are 100% correct
utsoccer10 0
Lovely
domking1315 20
I believe you spelled "disgusting" wrong
Skittlepickle 13
...is that EVER ok?
FlavorlessPie 7
I'm pretty sure that the only time this is okay is never.
what_ever2007 11
It depends on the relationship
chatoyant_fml 12
That's just wrong..
blcksocks 19
I think OP has reached the point of no return.
22cute 17
Just get over it.
norotors 16
At least you get to see some pussy.
yoyoforpeace 14
I'm pretty sure you can put in some sort of application for red wings now.
pavlovaaLOVE 7
116- nooo it doesn't wtf are u smoking !?!? Poor op fyl
what_ever2007 11
Uh, yes it does depend on the relationship. I know from experience. What's "omg so wrong" for some people isn't such a big deal to others. Everyone is different.
maebelline12 12
I guess that shows how comfortable she is around u...not to mention un-easily embarrassed and un-self conscious...
mightybrit 6
I really don't think there is any stage in a relationship where that would be okay. FYL haha
lorenzoman77 7
Next time OP, you should poop while she is showering, and talk to her.
wlddog 14
That is exactly what me and my wife of 10 years just said!
EduJav321 24
Well... Its kinda like that stage of the relationship when you can poop with the door open... Complete, utter, and disgusting trust
alycion 39
Been with my husband for 20 years and still wouldn't do that. Bad enough I have to deal with female maintenance, I'm not going to make people witness it on purpose. I mean if he came in after me then that's on him.
what_ever2007 11
It depends on the relationship
kevinn95 0
My friend took it a but further than this story.. She literally has her bf change her tampon for her sometimes its a normal thing for them Thats just disgusting and wrong i dont know why he would do that i was grossed out even hearing that story
what_ever2007 11
What makes it wrong? If it works just fine for them, why not? It doesn't mean anyone else has to do it.
JayBear14 11
3- Agreed. 9- I'm quite positive that is more socially acceptable then this FML.
NoReservations 9
I find 96's story rather touching. Some men shave their women's legs for them, wash their hair, etc. I wish my boyfriend would change my tampons..
alycion 39
On my bad days my husband will help with some things. I've had him brush and dry my hair. He has dyed it for me. Put in colored hair extensions. Since I got sick he's turning into my beautician. Don't think I'd be comfortable with him changing my products for me unless I absolutely couldn't. But to each their own I guess.
SarcasticUnicorn 9
For a couple weeks my mom could not use her hand so my dad dyed her hair. After that time, he kept on doing it because my mom liked for him to dye it.
22cute 17
150 - I wish my boyfriend would have my period for me, but you know....
NoReservations 9
That would work too :) I would change his tampon if he did the rest of the dirty work!
menacingsprite 3
Thats exactly was I was thinking!
eigelste 0
I completely disagree with you
Byahhh 3
I gag when I brush my tongue anyway... That's just... Damn.
tiptoppc 21
Ugh. My wife already does this, or comes in just to talk to me while ********. She has her own bathroom and she still does it in mine. It’s like I have no time that is just my own…. And this is after i’ve worked 10hr shifts…
AbbyRocksYourSoc 3
Sorry for you OP. That's bloody ridiculous.
what_ever2007 11
*Laughs at the word choice of "bloody" lol*
Hiimhaileypotter 53
49- That was the point. The pun was intended.
what_ever2007 11
Great! That means I can laugh at it....which I did :P
what_ever2007 11
Did I miss something? Is it wrong to laugh at a pun? Apparently, at least 7 people think so at the time I'm posting this!
OkitaCockroach 19
49/84/86- please just shut up...
elephantom12 9
100 - don't be a dick.
what_ever2007 11
lol why? I have just as much a right to speak my mind as you do. Obviously I've missed the huge thing I'm doing so wrongly in your opinion #100.
what_ever2007 11
Thank you 105! :)
ghirahim 5
Whilst! Hahahaha
zachherbert 10
Schnearf!.. Oh, we aren't just making up knew words?
Honestly_Lainey 21
It's amusing that you think "whilst" was the funny part of the FML.
FMLshark 12
Even funnier that 36 thinks that "whilst" is a made-up word AND used "knew" instead of "new". What English classes did you take, exactly?
calaholic35 0
Ghiraham is most British hence the "whilst".... *sigh* stupidity can at least be corrected.
Ozone1232 5
It can be corrected when you're dead.
Dravite 9
Dafuq indeed!
kionnaloves 11
Oh you poor thing. Hope she didn't make eye contact!
iFizzgig 11
Oh she did, and she spread her legs and licked her lips
enchi999 8
29) you forgot the moans
SqueakyChipmunk 22
...which lips? *shot*
ShyAnn29 15
119, I believe 29 meant her mouth, unless she can lick her other lips, and that would be quite the talent!
phatdaddy62 23
I wanna meet that girl!
MCRaddict15 15
That should not be a stage. I think you should sit her down and tell her that's not okay, ever.
HyVriD 5
I like your style :)
Marine4life33 0
Add me on Facebook:)
what_ever2007 11
soooo...? It's a natural thing. ...Yeah, she didn't have to do it when you were brushing your teeth, I'm sure; but so many guys get so freaked out when it comes to women's periods! Child birth will be much worse if you two choose to go that route.
toelie 26
Probably safe to say he'll love the baby more than he does the tampon.
what_ever2007 11
I'm sure he will....but it's yet another "gross" thing a woman has to go through! Oh the poor men!! *sigh* What I mean is...hopefully he won't feel the need to be all "OMG GROSS" when/if his baby is born.
Senseless_487 29
Hey, I don't freak out over a woman's period, but I sure as hell don't want to watch her change her tampon. Some things need to stay private, and this is VERY high on that list.
citymayer 7
I don't want to do that while someone is in the bathroom brushing their teeth.. I don't even want to be in the bathroom with anyone else at the same time..
twtwaldron 5
You sound like a stuck up bitch. Jussayin
NoReservations 9
You spell like a stuck up bitch, twtwaldron. *Just saying. I agree with you, what_ever2007. That's like a women being appalled by a man's ejaculation. Both are bodily fluids.
Yodaevil 4
I'm man enough, there isn't anything a woman could do to gross me out! Common man, she's the one doing it and you're the one being a little bitch? Show your woman that you are that comfortable around her, man up. Some day you'll be glad you did....
kitty292 9
Yes it's natural but so what. Why should he have to see her change her tampon, just because it's natural. As a female, I wouldn't even want my boyfriend seeing that. It's disgusting enough as it is to me.
NoReservations 9
No one MADE him look at her. He was brushing his teeth, he could have recognized what she was doing and looked away. But it sounds like he just kept watching in horror. It's not like she said, "Hey! Look what I found!" This is not an fmylife, this is an Iwastemporarilygrossedoutbymygirlfriendslevelofcomfortabilityaroundme.
what_ever2007 11
sorry you feel that way 193
what_ever2007 11
Thanks NoReservations -- good comments :)
Yodaevil 4
263, I wish the biggest worry in my life was seeing a tampon being inserted. I guess that i have more pressing worries and problems to deal with, that doesn't bother me. Taking a shit is "disgusting" but a part of life. I'm not going on about how girl may have heard it! Like OMG! Fo real? I'm worried about a house payment, putting food on the table. You know, adult things.
NoReservations 9
Thanks, 217 :) Completely agree with you, yodaevil.
bettyloohoo 0
I totally agree with you! I want to say "**** you" to guys who complain about having to deal with girls periods. They ain't the ones having to deal with it. We are. The bastards
picklepower25ap 4
Wow youre cool. Thank you for respecting women unlike other guys. It might be gross but hell if a girl does that, that means she trusts you.
amanda2131 5
Same goes for child birth. your hand hurts? Bitch please!
infinitegrace 21
Thank you! And maybe there's only one bathroom and he's been using it for a while, those things start getting super uncomfortable and it's bad to leave them in too long anyways.
baileylaidlaw 6
Oh my. I think you should talk to her. That's very uncomfortable on your part. And it should be on hers too. FYL op
beckyxD 13
Your profile pic definitely fits this FML