Today, I was talking to my husband about how I wanted our marriage to improve and not just be sex all the time. In the middle of my sentence, he asked for a blow job. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, having regularly given my husband blowjobs, I suggested, mid-session, that he could maybe reciprocate. He complained that I was wet, begrudgingly licked for about a minute and then gave up. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, my hubby asked for a morning blow job, and I happily obliged. All was going great until he came and farted at the same time. I laughed and reassured him it was no big deal. He cried. FML
Today, while in the middle of giving my husband a blow job, I looked up to see him staring into space and vigorously picking his nose. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML
Today, I told my husband that I'm tired of feeling like his "blow-up doll". His response was to honk my boob and make squeaking noises. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job. I thought it was going great and I was doing a good job, until he told me to "stop chomping on it like it's a hot dog." FML
Today, I was in bed feeling sad and depressed because I hate my career and several major life choices I made for the wrong reasons. My husband, who had been trying to cheer me up all day, put the icing on the cake by saying, “Is this a bad time to mention the blowjob you promised me yesterday?” FML
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Top comments
coolcocoxxx 12
That's when you let him sleep on the couch. Yeah, FYL. Guys like that need to realize that girls are looking for more in a relationship than sex.
jjohnson26559 1
What dick. He could've at least asked to 69.
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Comments (162)
5t3ff1k4h 47
It's actually not impossible; it's very easy for a man to think up something sweet every day to do for his wife. What it actually is, is unrealistic.
TheyCallMeDamien 18
He's either just a horndog or you have mad skills!
Kiki242 19
How can you be married and the relationship is just sex?
TheGreasyHobo 2
Better give him a damn *******!
Ynasia 5
Um...why are you married again?
CrazyManNo9 29
Wait a minute. You are the one that used the word "sex" in the middle of the sentence. What did you think he was going to do?
wallstreet015 0
you could always give him a ******* while expressing your argument. you both get what you want
toelie 26
Exactly. Arguments are always expressed best with a dick in your mouth.
Eirena 5
When you say marriage, you basically mean that you want the relationship to improve. Shouldn't you have defined the relationship before tying the knot?
Kiki242 19
I don't think she wants to be swept off her feet but she wants more than sex. He's getting what he wants so he should give her what she wants. 50/50.
livelovemusic22 3
Why did you marry him knowing this? Wow! Marriage counseling for sure.