Today, I put up a sign asking motorcyclists to slow down near horses, as the noise can spook them. While I was riding near the sign, a biker slowed to read it, looked at me, then revved his engine loudly and raced off. My horse bucked me off into some brambles and bolted. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saw the girl that I've had a crush on forever riding her horse on the side of the road. She waved, and without thinking, I honked my horn in response. Her horse bucked her off. FML
Today, I was riding my newly trained horse. I've recently been suffering from bad gas, and ended up farting so violently, it spooked my horse into bucking me off and running away. FML
Today, as I pulled to a halt at a stop sign, a cyclist ripped through the air, slammed straight into my fender, and almost launched over my car. I ended up being cited for reckless driving. FML
Today, I got stuck behind a guy riding his bike 20 mph below the speed limit. I honked, cursed, screamed, and yelled, before finally managing to overtake him. Once I got home, I went outside to get the paper, and discovered that the biker lives just two doors down from me. FML
Today, I was at a rodeo warming up while my mom unnecessarily bragged about my training skills to a client. My horse then threw me into a gate at a full gallop, in front of everyone. That was the first time he'd ever misbehaved. FML
Today, I was riding my motorcycle when a guy cut me off at a light. I honked and swore at him when a bug flew into my mouth. FML
Today, my idiot horse decided to grab a mouthful of stinging nettles while I was riding him. He panicked at the burning sensation in his mouth and bucked me off. Don't worry, though, my fall was cushioned, by the nettles. FML
Today, I was taking a leisurely stroll through the woods in the nice cool weather, when a mountain biker came out of nowhere and tore past, barely missing me. As I counted my luck, another biker followed the first and crashed right into me. FML
Today, some blowhard on a motorcycle yelled at me for jaywalking, causing him to almost hit a dumpster. He picked up and threw an empty beer can at me when I started giggling at the sticker on the front of his helmet that said, "If you can read this, I have lost my caravan." FML
Today, while letting horses out to switch pasture, one ran at me, sending me through the electric fence and into a mud puddle. Wrapped in electric fence, I sat in that electric mud puddle, screaming every time it shocked me. Help arrived, once they'd had a good long laugh. FML
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Top comments
papygeorges 17
Assholes are everywhere, some of them ride motorcycles.
Roskosity 22
That really sucks. It takes a while to desensitize horses to that kind of noise and after a spook like that I'm sure it will be much harder.
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Comments (88)
Xelthen 10
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Bikers are assholes, sorry that happened op
papygeorges 17
Assholes are everywhere, some of them ride motorcycles.
blazerman_fml 17
Other's ride your best friend :)
Ramb0 20
What a dick. Some people have no decency.
MikaykayUnicorn 36
I agree. I own a fourwheeler that I frequently ride and my neighbor owns horses so I never, ever drive it by the horses. It's just common decency.
Mama4ddk 15
OK about that time I would be throwing out roofing nails. Like really I would because if someone else is going to be ignorant when I've nicely ask for something to happen and even given a damn good reason for it then I'm going to show them what real ignorance is capable of. Fyl for real and I hope things get better for you and your horses. I also hope that you weren't hurt too badly and that it didn't take you long to get your ride back.
Roskosity 22
That really sucks. It takes a while to desensitize horses to that kind of noise and after a spook like that I'm sure it will be much harder.
lunar999 23
I came off last year after my 4 year old stood on a plastic bottle for the first time. Since then we've spent hours walking her over different objects and recently getting her to stand near the loudest car on the yard and revving it to desensitise her to it. It takes a while but it's worth it when idiots can't be bothered to show a bit of courtesy.
bubbsorcuz 10
works good if you just whack then with the reins, or a nice plastic bat. they stop being stupid fast
lunar999 23
#65 please go and shove the bat as far up your arse as you can if you can get it in alongside your head. Anyone with half a brain could tell you that sort of practise would only make the animal worse. What a prick.
Mama4ddk 15
Really all it takes is whacking something with a bat to make them stop being stupid? Number 65 please step up I got a swing for you. What a freaking moron I hope too high heaven you are not a pet owner of any kind! Ya Dumb shit.
aimbug 42
Ugh. Some people are everything that is wrong with the world. Sorry that happened, Op. I hope you found your horse and your horse is okay now.
Wizardo 34
Bikers are like the short, angry people of the motoring world. The spandex touting variety are even worse.
tantanpanda 26
I think you have a fundamental misunderstanding of this FML. When OP referred to "the biker" they implied that it was someone on a motorcycle or something close to that. Unless it really was a bike, but I don't know of any bikes that have engines on them.
lexos 16
Not every biker is a asshole, I am always slowing down when I need to drive past a animal
sagefitts 25
Wow, some people are such jerks.
rickAUS 22
For some places in Australia, that's a criminal act. Fuckwits.
Mauskau 36
In the highway code, you have to slow down for horses, down to about 10mph. Is that not a thing everywhere else?
ThatHorse 15
Nope. Not everywhere.
lexos 16
Where I live the teach you to do it but it's not mandatory as far as I know
Mama4ddk 15
Really it's not mandatory? I honestly thought it was, I live out in the sticks and there are a lot of horse farms in the area so everyone around here always slows down and gives the animals the right of way. Even the young kids who just got their license slow down and take it easy while going past horses. I guess I just live in an area with a lot of common courtesy but because of that I really honestly thought that was mandatory. Thank you for the info.
Shade1982 21
What was that South Park episode about bikers again? :P
Plastinate 17
Faggs!