Today, I was talking to my husband about how I wanted our marriage to improve and not just be sex all the time. In the middle of my sentence, he asked for a blow job. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, having regularly given my husband blowjobs, I suggested, mid-session, that he could maybe reciprocate. He complained that I was wet, begrudgingly licked for about a minute and then gave up. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, my hubby asked for a morning blow job, and I happily obliged. All was going great until he came and farted at the same time. I laughed and reassured him it was no big deal. He cried. FML
Today, while in the middle of giving my husband a blow job, I looked up to see him staring into space and vigorously picking his nose. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML
Today, I told my husband that I'm tired of feeling like his "blow-up doll". His response was to honk my boob and make squeaking noises. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job. I thought it was going great and I was doing a good job, until he told me to "stop chomping on it like it's a hot dog." FML
Today, I was in bed feeling sad and depressed because I hate my career and several major life choices I made for the wrong reasons. My husband, who had been trying to cheer me up all day, put the icing on the cake by saying, “Is this a bad time to mention the blowjob you promised me yesterday?” FML
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Top comments
coolcocoxxx 12
That's when you let him sleep on the couch. Yeah, FYL. Guys like that need to realize that girls are looking for more in a relationship than sex.
jjohnson26559 1
What dick. He could've at least asked to 69.
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Comments (162)
Freedom92 12
SOMEBODY needs to get their hearing checked if you ask me, not pointing fingers of anything but... --> --> -_-
Nicole_Crawford 1
Yea I know exactly how that goes
hateevryone 15
So basically it's a marriage built on sex.
Sicilysstallion 2
Did you give it to him ?
gregorygreg87 12
Hahahahahaha
hol18 5
Don't get why this is an fml... Surely it means that you give really good head?
elocin1237 4
Maybe u should talk to him about it and possibly getting his penis size reduced
dr3amcatchr 2
I hope you dropped to your knees immediately.
bLundeee 3
I wish! I barely get any! :(
DarthVader77 9
Nothing cements marriage better than sex. He is right, just suck it up