Today, I was talking to my husband about how I wanted our marriage to improve and not just be sex all the time. In the middle of my sentence, he asked for a blow job. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, having regularly given my husband blowjobs, I suggested, mid-session, that he could maybe reciprocate. He complained that I was wet, begrudgingly licked for about a minute and then gave up. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, my hubby asked for a morning blow job, and I happily obliged. All was going great until he came and farted at the same time. I laughed and reassured him it was no big deal. He cried. FML
Today, while in the middle of giving my husband a blow job, I looked up to see him staring into space and vigorously picking his nose. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML
Today, I told my husband that I'm tired of feeling like his "blow-up doll". His response was to honk my boob and make squeaking noises. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job. I thought it was going great and I was doing a good job, until he told me to "stop chomping on it like it's a hot dog." FML
Today, I was in bed feeling sad and depressed because I hate my career and several major life choices I made for the wrong reasons. My husband, who had been trying to cheer me up all day, put the icing on the cake by saying, “Is this a bad time to mention the blowjob you promised me yesterday?” FML
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Top comments
coolcocoxxx 12
That's when you let him sleep on the couch. Yeah, FYL. Guys like that need to realize that girls are looking for more in a relationship than sex.
jjohnson26559 1
What dick. He could've at least asked to 69.
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Comments (162)
ablueshka 0
Well at least your sex is good right? If it is you are off to a good start for that perfect marriage :)
ebfbruh 0
Damn Canadians
TheFamilyElf 17
Maybe I'm wrong, having never been married, but I think it's good to find a happy medium where you keep one another happy mentally and physically. At least that's what I hope for in a marriage. Sorry your husband is being a dope, OP. Good for you for trying to talk it out.
Loboman 6
Now that we are married, let's change everything. How is that working out for you?
zeffra13 31
#15 I doubt they're newlyweds, and this is only one thing. People's sex drive can change over time, especially women's. She's just being honest that right now, hers is lower than his and he should respect that. Which he isn't.
katiekatlovesu 5
I think when your husband heard the word "sex", he might already be nursing a semi...
DuRpY 5
Perhaps he likes dem purty lips, mm-hmmm.
AmericanJedhead 10
Maybe if you compromise it'll work out, but he has to agree also. Or go to a marriage counselor. This sounds strangely like the plot of Hope Springs, though...well in a way.
N1GHTS 12
FYL, OP. That really sucks.
Turtle_rebellion 10
There's a button for that.
Myo_fml 20
Yeah, it's not cool to comment "YDI" anymore... If it ever was.
Thorzix 23
What a dick, he shouldn't treat you like that :x
PYLrulz 17
According to the one FML a while back, that's not sex
123man 11
If a penis is being inserted inside of another person, I think we safely classify it as sex.
SciFiFanatic 3
Sorry, but I agree with 26. Blow jobs are not sex. Now I'm not saying it's not sexual activity, intimate, or something to be taken seriously, but it's not sex. Then again, this opinion seems to be dependent on what generation one's from. All of my friends feel as I do, but I've had long arguments with my parents who very strongly disagree. Either way though, it's still an activity that's to be shared between to consenting adults either in a relationship or not depending on what each is looking for.
Factor_fml 6
In this case, there is no such a concept as sex. There are only sexual activities, some of them with penetration, and some could potentially lead to conception.
TwoCentsibleGuy 4
Sex: -n Feelings or behavior resulting from the urge to gratify the sexual instinct Courtesy of dictionary.com/reference! Sounds to me like that previous FML was incorrect. If that's possible of course. :)
PYLrulz 17
Maybe the FML that I was referencing to might have been too far back for some to remember. Didn't think it would start a debate
white16sox 19
Funny, because last time I checked, it's called oral SEX.
bombcop 3
Sounds like my marriage. Lots of sex before, none after. Shut off the sex, he is going to look else where.
Angelrose2004 17
OP never said anything about shutting off the sex. She just said that she wanted their relationship to consist of other things besides sex.
brucebaxter 2
Sounds like a fun marriage