Today, I was talking to my husband about how I wanted our marriage to improve and not just be sex all the time. In the middle of my sentence, he asked for a blow job. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, having regularly given my husband blowjobs, I suggested, mid-session, that he could maybe reciprocate. He complained that I was wet, begrudgingly licked for about a minute and then gave up. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, my hubby asked for a morning blow job, and I happily obliged. All was going great until he came and farted at the same time. I laughed and reassured him it was no big deal. He cried. FML
Today, while in the middle of giving my husband a blow job, I looked up to see him staring into space and vigorously picking his nose. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML
Today, I told my husband that I'm tired of feeling like his "blow-up doll". His response was to honk my boob and make squeaking noises. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job. I thought it was going great and I was doing a good job, until he told me to "stop chomping on it like it's a hot dog." FML
Today, I was in bed feeling sad and depressed because I hate my career and several major life choices I made for the wrong reasons. My husband, who had been trying to cheer me up all day, put the icing on the cake by saying, “Is this a bad time to mention the blowjob you promised me yesterday?” FML
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Top comments
coolcocoxxx 12
That's when you let him sleep on the couch. Yeah, FYL. Guys like that need to realize that girls are looking for more in a relationship than sex.
jjohnson26559 1
What dick. He could've at least asked to 69.
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Comments (162)
Coked0ut247 1
Hey some marriages have no sex how is this a problem?
roninvamp 4
If you were better at it then he probably wouldn't be that way
itsme1321 3
Most guys don't want a bj from someone who is wretched at giving them. So it stands to reason that she's at least decent at it...if she were better, he'd probably just try to rape her face every time she opened her mouth :/
brandoneyez1 25
He could have a medical issue. He may have an out of control sex drive. This is a medical condition and could be why he can't focus. Get with a doctor ... If his attention goes to it abnormally much it may be a medical issue and a serious one.
supportcommand 17
You should be happy you still make him horny. Suck him off then go for dinner, movie and a romantic moonlit stroll by through a park. You'll love it I'm sure.
Neongreenme 8
Haha sex?? you must be with in your first couple of years of marriage. give it sometime then the sex will be nonexistent. at that point you can improve your marriage without the worry.
jacquieh 14
My husband does the exact same thing!!!
KiddNYC1O 22
Oh snap.
fail_gurl21 7
typical guys -.-
thunter2000 2
And?
ebonyirony 29
And they still have less sex than Christian Grey.
secretllama 0
Kick him out, he doesn't deserve you