Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had the best sex of our relationship with my boyfriend. Afterwards, he took off his condom, looked me sweetly in the eyes for a few moments, then decided to slap me in the face with it. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML
Today, I got into a fight with my boyfriend. The only thing he could think of to cheer me up was to give me "permission" to give him a blowjob. FML
Today, my boyfriend got out of the shower and tried to hit my forehead with his penis. He slipped and slapped me in the eye with it. FML
Today, I was feeling frisky and asked my boyfriend if he wanted a blowjob. He said, "Fuck no", then rolled over to go to sleep. FML
Today, I gave my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. Apparently, I was so bad at it that he eventually just slapped my hand away and angrily said he'd do it himself. FML
Today, I was getting freaky with my boyfriend and told him to spank me. In a seductive voice, he told me not to tell him what to do. Continuing, I asked him how he was going to punish me, to which he then replied, "I'm going to punch you straight in the face." FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML
Today, my boyfriend wanted a blowjob, shortly after we've started dating. He said to be careful because he blows a massive load. Thinking he's full of crap, I rolled my eyes and got to work. Had him going and then a massive load shot down my throat and a bunch of fire hoses sprayed out my nose. It burned so bad. FML
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Top comments
WCARlover 35
Apparently she didn't feel like doing it you selfish ********...girls don't always have to want penis in their mouth
The_Plagiarizer 4
Buy a ***** and slap him back.
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Comments (311)
BountyBass 13
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Better then a kiss with a fist
kjcookie10 9
Grab the vacuum cleaner and the hose and suck his penis with that!!! Wait... What?
xcarxcrashx 9
Better than none.
herrobear 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Well, he shouldn't have done that, but, why won't you just give him a bj?
KayleeBeth 0
Maybe she just didn't want to...
The_Plagiarizer 4
Buy a ***** and slap him back.
muzy 23
OP you deserve it if you didn't do something about it. You should have smashed his balls for that !!!
FunwithBumperCar 0
Better yet she should get a strap on and chase him around with it.
Ellifish 2
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
What a ********. Get it? No? Ok sorry guys...
ColdplaySucks 18
If that asshole thinks that a relationship is only about having sex, then you should dump him.
Monii_Harlz 11
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
My boyfriend did the same thing - but he apologized afterwards LOL
girl112891 7
You know, at least it's less confusing when you're slapped by a hand. In this case, how do you know whether to take him seriously or not.
Horcruxer 0
Angry people! If you all feel that bad about it, just keep a big black ***** on deck.
uytgfghjhgf 3
true, true.
JonnyBone21 3
Just shut up...
HubbaBubba259_fml 0
Get him a iron underwear that only you have the key to! Won't slap your face now...
lololog 0
Bite it off... :D
tattooedcowboy 6
Thats why i got into a relationship lol
tattooedcowboy 6
I was refering to 138
shaubygal 11
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
that's when you punch him. in the penis. with your fist
AlaskanEskimo34 0
What a dick. I feel like he's that only child that's not used to someone saying no to him.
SecretMe00 5
Ya I wouldn't put up with a guy like that!
noncomposmentis 6
Or agree to give him a BJ, and then use teeth.
shaggy8778 4
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Wow...so many angry people...too much sand in ur ******?
monkeysareyummy 0
Mushroom slap..
Ballin8864 4
Bite his dick really hard. :)
john443 5
OP should've blown on his dick and said "there, I gave you a bj"
Horcruxer 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Or maybe not enough of anything in their vaginas.
_Oblivion_ 12
109- How long have you been waiting to say that?
PhilipNotMacedon 3
It hurts more when you punch men in the balls. Just FYI.
crymore007 11
Oh I figured it'd hurt more if you punched women in the balls. thanks for clearing up the confusion
buddyguyfriend 1
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Gators b's better be suck my ish
FunwithBumperCar 0
I believe he is referencing the film "The Other Guys"
fancyclown 9
Oh, good. At first I thought he wanted an alligator on his penis.
brianfantana32 10
Is it just me or did that comment make no sense at all
nofearjenshere 12
Sounds like he's sexually frustrated.
Bekll 31
He can just get a hooker then or do it himself if he's so desperate. If she says no he needs to respect that.
awagh666 14
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
...or op could have got him a stripper...
crazy_whitechick 6
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Haha 69 likes! ..... Sorry I know that comment was immature but I couldn't help it
crazy_whitechick 6
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Haha 69 likes!
exleonhart 0
Pow! Right in the kisser!
at1325 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I would find that unacceptable and if this is a recurring issue consider ending the relationship. No means no, even when in a relationship. He has no right to demand sexual acts. You have every right to choose not to engage in sex when you don't want to.
markymark1429 8
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
You're fat
lucyinthesky420 10
43- you're a horrible person.
markymark1429 8
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Frick right before mine. And you're still fat
DocBastard 40
Sexual_predator and markymark - Why don't you shove grenades up each others' asses and try to fart The 1812 Overture, you worthless ******* excuses for trolls. Comments like yours are not welcomed here. **** off.
seahawksfan900 11
Ugly fat people don't get opinions
06rubiandrea_fml 5
and you are still an idiot!
BubbleGrunge84 7
43 and 45 you are both ******* idiots.
crazyaces89 7
I agree- although assholes is more like it
iamyourgod 3
If this was the middle east you'd have just been stoned. And you'r fat.
Awsumuzzie 12
Really,107? Because I'm from a country from there and I've never seen them stone anyone before... Especially for being fat or refusing to give a blowie. Where did you get such ideas from? Your ass? I'll gladly help you by chopping it off for you. It'll end your dumb idea era :) you're welcome.
Artz94_fml 16
I don't understand people who judge others like this... It's just free hatred and there is no point in it... When people attack on physic, it just means that they have no real argument. That kind of behaviors show your weakness, your stupidity and nothing else !
smurfsarwales 9
Just because you're a ginger doesn't mean you have to be angry the whole time. Just a tip from one bro to another.
autumnisintheair 7
I agree with her, and I'm a brunette. What now?
christianSRA 0
You hero!
ProhibitionRose 14
She's not a "bro". And hair color has nothing to do with it being unacceptable to use violence when you don't get your way.
quite_bored 9
Am I the only one thinking OP's boyfriend was just messing around and everyone is taking this way too serious?
vadim14 3
You're fat I didn't even bother reading your comment nobody cares what you have to say.
KentuckyRebel92 8
Thank you. Everyone over reacts so much these days. He was probably just joking.. Geez...
boardforlife 0
I think ur overweight and ugly so u couldn't get a boyfriend anyway
iRiS890 5
A dick slap to the face is no joking matter.
drller331 4
Maybe she shoulda just sucked it????
Alex_7759 13
I think she's beautiful.
Artz94_fml 16
He is so respectful with you...
GoW_Chick 15
Well he blew his chances, now it's going to be hard to get another, I bet he's feeling blue.
NitroTonicsFML 4
I totally saw this coming.
WCARlover 35
Blow him off next time he asks you for anything
xSonic 9
Too many puns! It's so hard to think of one! My head's about to explode......wait I got one coming. Ah nvm, it passed. Guess I'll just limp away now.
HeyThereAk 2
Wow...dump him. If he has no respect that you don't want to do it. Then he's nor worth your time.
nigel22 0
Shut up bitch
unluckiestperson_fml 14
Am I the only one taking this as a joke he's making rather than an actual disrespectful thing?
jonnyroscoe 3
That's when you smack his junk and say "bad dog".
doubleroses 3
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Hahahhaahaha good for him!
brianfantana32 10
THE STUPIDITY IN YOUR COMMENT DESERVES THE WRATH OF CAPS LOCK!
mrshaffer 2
The stupidity of your life barely deserves a reply!
AfroD 0
U just did :P