Today, I was talking to my husband about how I wanted our marriage to improve and not just be sex all the time. In the middle of my sentence, he asked for a blow job. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, having regularly given my husband blowjobs, I suggested, mid-session, that he could maybe reciprocate. He complained that I was wet, begrudgingly licked for about a minute and then gave up. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, my hubby asked for a morning blow job, and I happily obliged. All was going great until he came and farted at the same time. I laughed and reassured him it was no big deal. He cried. FML
Today, while in the middle of giving my husband a blow job, I looked up to see him staring into space and vigorously picking his nose. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML
Today, I told my husband that I'm tired of feeling like his "blow-up doll". His response was to honk my boob and make squeaking noises. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job. I thought it was going great and I was doing a good job, until he told me to "stop chomping on it like it's a hot dog." FML
Today, I was in bed feeling sad and depressed because I hate my career and several major life choices I made for the wrong reasons. My husband, who had been trying to cheer me up all day, put the icing on the cake by saying, “Is this a bad time to mention the blowjob you promised me yesterday?” FML
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Top comments
coolcocoxxx 12
That's when you let him sleep on the couch. Yeah, FYL. Guys like that need to realize that girls are looking for more in a relationship than sex.
jjohnson26559 1
What dick. He could've at least asked to 69.
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Comments (162)
freakguy455 0
Typical, woman uses sex to lure a man into a relationship then gets up set when he wants sex..
KBear3109 29
Telling you to suck his dick isn't asking for a ********.
Alastrina_fml 20
Your marriage is about sex and only sex? That marriage isn't going to last. Get thee to a counselor!!!
RobbinBrothels 7
You should oversex him. Really wear him out. See what happens you're lucky -he finds you attractive -goes to you for sex -you're married -that this is your "problem"
perdix 31
If there's sex all the time, I'm not sure where your husband sees that there's room for improvement. Men's Main Reasons for Marital Dissatisfaction: 1. Lack of sex 2. ..., uh, is there a #2, or is this a trick question?
littlebluepill 1
Was it different before you got married?? If he was the same, which I'm guessing he was, ydi for marrying a guy who doesn't listen to you when you speak and expects sex on tap.
challan 19
Look FMLers we have to talk about our continuing relationship. I enjoy our time together, our playful banter and I value our relationship. Forget this... just eat me. I completely see where your hubby is coming from op.
dr3amcatchr 2
beautiful comment. Wait. No. No yeah - it was.
Turtle_rebellion 10
Hey, at least he finds you attractive. That, or he closes his eyes whenever he has sex with you and imagines that you're his old girlfriend. Either way, if he comes to you for sex that often, he isn't cheating!
zakkman 4
Well, there is a group of people in the US who celebrate today as the National Giving or Receiving Head Day.
ineslovescats 5
That's how my boyfriend is. F our lives OP