Today, having regularly given my husband blowjobs, I suggested, mid-session, that he could maybe reciprocate. He complained that I was wet, begrudgingly licked for about a minute and then gave up. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was talking to my husband about how I wanted our marriage to improve and not just be sex all the time. In the middle of my sentence, he asked for a blow job. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a long blowjob and had to pause for a minute because my mouth became exceedingly dry. His solution? Spit directly in my mouth. FML
Today, I finally felt ready to give my boyfriend a blowjob. Barely 20 seconds in, he said: "I'll be honest, this is TERRIBLE." FML
Today, while in the middle of giving my husband a blow job, I looked up to see him staring into space and vigorously picking his nose. FML
Today, my husband tried to haggle a blowjob out of me in exchange for taking his first shower in nearly two weeks. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job. I thought it was going great and I was doing a good job, until he told me to "stop chomping on it like it's a hot dog." FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML
Today, my hubby asked for a morning blow job, and I happily obliged. All was going great until he came and farted at the same time. I laughed and reassured him it was no big deal. He cried. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML
Today, my husband fell asleep in the middle of a blowjob. I feel kind of insulted. FML
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Top comments
geddafah kowdah deway 3
sounds like your life literally does suck -- and you should stop doing it until he's beyond willing to reciprocate
Nakomai 17
I'm not sure he's 100% into women.
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Comments (12)
geddafah kowdah deway 3
sounds like your life literally does suck -- and you should stop doing it until he's beyond willing to reciprocate
Nakomai 17
I'm not sure he's 100% into women.
princess_stabitty 20
Well, next time you should just about lick him for a minute, and then give up, if he becomes at least remotely hard.
Warp1978 15
NO BLOW JOBS FOR YOU!
Chazzster 32
Mid session is not the best time to quit and ask him to reciprocate. Either before or after would be better - You probably have more leverage before and it’s less frustrating than quitting in the middle.
arioch_fml 20
Definitely not a good time, but it's probably not the first time Op has asked either. and honestly, if he's that reluctant he might not even bother before or after anyways.
peterblack67 9
How incredibly selfish. I would definitely cut him off.
John Raymond Matheney 6
get you a man like me, not me, but like me. the ratio my wife and I have of "favors" is like 20:1 in her favor, and I'm a ok with that.
bobsanction 18
Is he gay or something?
Charles McClure 6
Psh I'm on my way. You can even go first
BurnInDemonFire 39
What a pansy.