Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML
Today, while making a move in a board game that helped my boyfriend win, he got all excited and said "I love you, babe." I smiled until I realized this was the first time he told me that other than when he wants a blow-job. FML
Today, I looked my boyfriend in the eyes and said, "I love y-" He cut me off with, "Babe, a blowjob's worth a thousand words" and held eye contact until I awkwardly excused myself. FML
Today, I spontaneously poured my heart out for my boyfriend, telling him how much I love and adore him. He answered by leaning in close, saying, "Jolly good" in an affected accent, and burping loud and clear in my ear. FML
Today, my boyfriend was laying down on top of me and he was looking at me with passion in his eyes. I thought he was finally going to tell me that he loved me. Instead, he said, "You have a booger." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were finally alone and things were starting to get intimate. I was on top of him trying to be sexy, when in my excitement I giggled and called him a "silly girl" by accident. FML
Today, I was in bed with my boyfriend, in the middle of foreplay, and somehow out of my mouth came, "I want to be inside you." I'm a woman. FML
Today, I was feeling frisky and asked my boyfriend if he wanted a blowjob. He said, "Fuck no", then rolled over to go to sleep. FML
Today, things began to get hot and heavy between my boyfriend and me. Suddenly, in a deep, sexy voice, he whispered, "God help me for what I'm about to do." Thinking it was just an odd manner of dirty talk, I mumbled about liking it. He then farted very loudly. FML
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Top comments
aliadnan708 6
Did u blow him?
ninjuh_wingman 29
Tell him you will if he can give you an ******.
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Comments (139)
aliadnan708 6
Did u blow him?
nic7973 23
you should have done it for him
AyeTee77 18
Even during sex women expect us to say "I love you"...
disco2466 8
if you say it more you get more sex though!
Calyx_fml 22
The real question is since you love him and all... did you swallow?
bellaoblio 0
I don't "expect" anything but an ******. Not all women are the same my friend.
lebronesque73091 12
They don't really sound similar in any way.
bayaborriello 1
seriously ? whats wrong with dat ?
juicypu55y 0
No , we expect it ALL THA TIME. Duuuh
qwillis98 20
How dafuq u get those confused?
DontClickOnMe 28
Aw, what a disappointment.
Epsilonyx 15
YOUR PICTURE IS TERRIFYING WHY DO YOU DO THIS PLEASE STOP
DontClickOnMe 28
8 - Hey, that's not very nice.. :(
Epsilonyx 15
Isn't he a pedophile? D:
Goatinsfriend 8
Hey! Hes quite a sexy young man. We went over this.
SweetPerfectionn 3
He's beautiful. Stop bullying.
Epsilonyx 15
Are you dumb? Would I honestly say something like that if that was legitimately him? That's Brian Peppers; a registered sex offender. Thanks, though.
Epsilonyx 15
P.S. Read his about me.
killtin 2
Really random but 33 same birthdate and year -_-
julialinn 2
Brian Peppers.. the sexiest child molester ever.
DynamicDave 11
I think he actually sexually harassed a nurse.
FatSack 0
He's not a child molester. He molested animals. Even creepier...
DontClickOnMe 28
No. You guys got it all wrong. Well Dave knows me, but yeah I molest the nurses that take care of me.
ManlyDunsparce 3
Yea, for him. Let's hope he got it!
bioboy725 10
Yeah, that sucks
jideare 3
That's a shame. Now u tell him you did say "not a chance"
tygerarmy 35
And you replied I want you to eat me.
Pentium_4 27
eating out a chick isn't bad at all, if you know how to do it. sounds like a fair trade though
tygerarmy 35
I think so. They even have a position for such a trade, 69.
Pentium_4 27
well whaddya know. problem solved!
bizarre_ftw 22
actually though, both ways (I'm taking your word on eating out a girl), there's nothing wrong with giving BJs, they're not disgusting (some people even find giving them to be fun) so my question is: what's the damn big deal?!
tygerarmy 35
For the OP the big deal is she thought her boyfriend was confessing his love for her when he was really telling her to blow me. As for the big deal on oral sex, there shouldn't be one. The OP's boyfriend should have played it off and said he loves her, waited 30 seconds and asked for oral. And as a general rule being told "I love you" by someone you're sexual satisfying doesn't count, especially if it's the first time they've said it to you.
MissHayleyJames 7
Well to some people it IS disgusting. I'll only go down on my husband if he's just showered and only as foreplay. Otherwise it's just gross to me.
tygerarmy 35
Well to each their own. And I agree basic maintenance and hygiene is important. I don't want a girl going down on me after work or the gym because that'd be gross. But I enjoy getting my partner off. So I wouldn't go out with someone who didn't like putting the extra effort to get me off, because I am willing to do it for them.
lebronesque73091 12
51- I didn't know people like you existed.
lebronesque73091 12
74- I hope you don't expect much, then.
fenixtorador1 11
51 knows what's up! That's what I'm talking about!
JRokka850 6
I think if your a dude and don't eat pussy you to to find something really high and jump of it...
Characterise 0
lol why should we give you bjs if you don't eat us out? now that's a fair trade
ninjuh_wingman 29
Tell him you will if he can give you an ******.
BostonBruinsFan 8
…but it HAS to be a result from him eating her out
badass243 6
classy at its finest
abbyhoneywaffles 11
That's a bit of a moment ruiner..
jerjy1 5
your info said you enjoy starwars, your Xbox, an waffles! I wanna marry you
SweetPerfectionn 3
It is isn't it! Makes things awkward.. Haha
yummy_richkid 3
Don't forget Harry Potter...
CryMoreFMLs 15
41 - Thats a bit creeeepyyy. Just putting it out there.
AssassinsCRB 0
Harry Potter > Star Wars, Xbox and waffles
speedy420 0
yay star wars ^-^ rawrrr
Slai_fml 3
Well now you know what words you'll probably never actually hear him say meaningfully.
Characterise 0
if you don't say I love you in sex then the whole thing isn't meaningful so therefore just giving out free non meaning sex that's what I think anyways my ex always said I love you when we were doing it and said how beautiful n describing my body that's how sex should be
emeraldisle 30
I get those confused all the time too. They sound exactly the same.
peachesncreem 21
That's not the way guys say I love you? Shit.
amberbby69 6
same!
SweetPerfectionn 3
Hope that didn't make things too awkward for "le sexy times". Hopefully he returned the favor to show you he loves you too.