Today, I was talking to my husband about how I wanted our marriage to improve and not just be sex all the time. In the middle of my sentence, he asked for a blow job. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, having regularly given my husband blowjobs, I suggested, mid-session, that he could maybe reciprocate. He complained that I was wet, begrudgingly licked for about a minute and then gave up. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, my hubby asked for a morning blow job, and I happily obliged. All was going great until he came and farted at the same time. I laughed and reassured him it was no big deal. He cried. FML
Today, while in the middle of giving my husband a blow job, I looked up to see him staring into space and vigorously picking his nose. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML
Today, I told my husband that I'm tired of feeling like his "blow-up doll". His response was to honk my boob and make squeaking noises. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job. I thought it was going great and I was doing a good job, until he told me to "stop chomping on it like it's a hot dog." FML
Today, I was in bed feeling sad and depressed because I hate my career and several major life choices I made for the wrong reasons. My husband, who had been trying to cheer me up all day, put the icing on the cake by saying, “Is this a bad time to mention the blowjob you promised me yesterday?” FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
coolcocoxxx 12
That's when you let him sleep on the couch. Yeah, FYL. Guys like that need to realize that girls are looking for more in a relationship than sex.
jjohnson26559 1
What dick. He could've at least asked to 69.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (162)
LittleGreenPaola 23
Marriage doesn't usually make men so horny. He probably was already like this before the marriage. So why did you marry your sex buddy? You deserved it.
brooks10101 1
Ever think your just not interesting and well its not worth the bother?
noisebox 1
Isn't that the secret to a happy marriage? It's a wife's duty to satisfy her husband's sexual needs and for the husband to satisfy his wife's....,Dr. Ruth said so....
Token780 3
Well did you?
shot_gun22 0
Hes on the couch!!!!!
myndmelt 4
Well he could be ignoring you sexually and you wouldn't like that either. At least your getting some.
Mekeritrig 15
Sounds like you need marriage counselling.
coughyochick 7
No woman will ever understand the joy of a *******
noisebox 1
Especially if she swallows that protein...,
lesbosexual 2
Not an FML, you have a bf
DuRpY 5
Y u no reading comprehension?!?
jelly713 19
It's actually past the boyfriend/girlfriend stage. Read closely, "marriage".
itsme1321 3
Coming from a woman, this is what's wrong w/ women nowadays...they get these fancy ideas about how to "fix" your man/relationship from the damn Cosmo mag & they think they can cookie-cutter any man into the perfect husband. YDI, you shouldn't have married him if you only wanted to change him later!