Today, my stupid satnav led me straight onto someone’s private land and I couldn’t get out again because the private land was a working farm, and while I was turning round they dumped 10 tonnes of cow shit in the courtyard, and I couldn’t get round it until they shifted it again. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, whilst on a cycling holiday, in a somewhat hungover state, I accidentally chained my bike to the back of someone else's caravan. As I walked away, I heard a loud scraping noise. I turned around and watched my bike get dragged down a long gravel road and through a pile of horse shit. FML
Today, I agreed to go on a last-minute road trip with my friends. Everything was going great until we realized we had no GPS signal in the middle of nowhere. We ended up following a "shortcut" suggested by a farmer and got stuck in a muddy field for hours, with livestock giving us judgmental looks. FML
Today, I got into a heated, one-sided argument with my GPS, and ended up driving around in circles for an hour due to roadworks messing with my GPS's computations. FML
Today, I was on my motorbike 200km from home, in the middle of nowhere, when I needed to poop, so I found a wooded area and did my thing. As I was climbing back up, I knocked my helmet from its perch and watched it roll right into what I’d just left. FML
Today, I was hauling cow shit. I had a car following me very closely, so I turned on the spreader to get them to back off. It was a cop. I got pulled over in a tractor for spraying cow shit on a cop car. FML
Today, while delivering for a building supply company, I was sent to an incorrect address. I attempted to turn around and got the 24-foot truck stuck in the mud. The homeowner left for work and then called the cops, saying someone was trespassing on his property. FML
Today, my GPS led me to a "shortcut" that took me through a winding dirt road in the middle of nowhere. My car got stuck in the mud, and the tow truck driver told me I was the third person he's pulled out this week from the same "shortcut." FML
Today, while driving, we pulled up at a set of traffic lights next to a huge truck with live animals inside. Curious as to exactly what animal, I wound down my window to see if I could hear them, just in time for the truck to take off and cow shit to fly in my face. FML
Today, the waste disposal truck managed to tip over a Portapotty on our work site, causing the contents to overflow and run down the bank towards my Portakabin office, where someone had left the door open. All my money, ID, and my car keys are now shut off to me by a river of shit. FML
Today, I backed out of the driveway of our newly built home. Being unfamiliar with the driveway, I ended up getting bogged in the mud and slid halfway down the steep slope of the front yard, trying free myself. I haven't met my neighbours yet. They stood in their front lawns watching me. FML
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Top comments
Thaylok 17
I read about a USAF Academy kid who recently took his brand new truck up to the top of one of the states highest peaks. He got stuck in a scree field and had to pay MANY thousands of $ to have it recovered. His excuse? He didn't know he drove up hiking trails and didn't know he was off the pavement. Don't ever trust a satNav totally. Don't go into people's properties after pokemon. Use the head that you were given before you make that turn. YDI.
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Comments (1)
Thaylok 17
I read about a USAF Academy kid who recently took his brand new truck up to the top of one of the states highest peaks. He got stuck in a scree field and had to pay MANY thousands of $ to have it recovered. His excuse? He didn't know he drove up hiking trails and didn't know he was off the pavement. Don't ever trust a satNav totally. Don't go into people's properties after pokemon. Use the head that you were given before you make that turn. YDI.