Today, I was talking to my husband about how I wanted our marriage to improve and not just be sex all the time. In the middle of my sentence, he asked for a blow job. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, having regularly given my husband blowjobs, I suggested, mid-session, that he could maybe reciprocate. He complained that I was wet, begrudgingly licked for about a minute and then gave up. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, my hubby asked for a morning blow job, and I happily obliged. All was going great until he came and farted at the same time. I laughed and reassured him it was no big deal. He cried. FML
Today, while in the middle of giving my husband a blow job, I looked up to see him staring into space and vigorously picking his nose. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML
Today, I told my husband that I'm tired of feeling like his "blow-up doll". His response was to honk my boob and make squeaking noises. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job. I thought it was going great and I was doing a good job, until he told me to "stop chomping on it like it's a hot dog." FML
Today, I was in bed feeling sad and depressed because I hate my career and several major life choices I made for the wrong reasons. My husband, who had been trying to cheer me up all day, put the icing on the cake by saying, “Is this a bad time to mention the blowjob you promised me yesterday?” FML
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Top comments
coolcocoxxx 12
That's when you let him sleep on the couch. Yeah, FYL. Guys like that need to realize that girls are looking for more in a relationship than sex.
jjohnson26559 1
What dick. He could've at least asked to 69.
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Comments (162)
tomjenkins 0
Time to cut homeslice off for a while... No listen? No nookie.
bsmith9942 11
Tell him no more blow jobs until he listens to what you have to say and puts some effort into improving all the areas of your relationship.
ygdrassil 17
Wouldn't is still be all about sex then, still, because that's what she's holding over his head?
magnetoo 4
Because extortion is ALWAYS the foundation for a stronger relationship.
Bluekaren16 19
Or tell him to use a vacuum cleaner for now on.
bsmith9942 11
Refusing to have his dick shoved down her throat while she is upset is not extortion. It's her right as a human being. The world does NOT revolve around blow jobs.
jenniiienyc 5
I hope he wasn't like this when you married him. And hopefully this is just a horny bastard stage he's going through. He sounds inconsiderate. FYL, OP.
Enslaved 38
You can't talk when your mouth is full. Sounds like he was trying to find a way to shut you up from nagging. I'm kidding. Maybe you should have that same conversation after sex? How can he pay attention when he's horny and you're talking about sex?
boofybluth 6
Wow
batrob 7
If you don't want the relationship to be entirely about sex you should also make him sandwiches
Rodders_SOTC 1
Legend.
cjhons 16
Give him one, when it starts to get good-stop. Look up at him sweetly and ask "Did you say something?". Walk away
radioedit 7
Sounds like a great marriage to me
Sky3103 1
You should have known that before you got married!
zeffra13 31
People change as they get older, you know. Especially in this area.