Today, I was really bored and decided to annoy my mom while she was doing the dishes. I walked up behind her, touched her shoulder, and said "Poke". She then donkey kicks me straight in the nuts saying "Kick". I know now to never bug my mom when she's in a bad mood. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom complained that I was being too loud, and she smacked my head really hard. All while screaming at me. FML
Today, my mother called me urgently from the kitchen. Thinking she was hurt, I ran to her as fast as possible. She threw a wet cloth at my head and ran away, laughing her face off. FML
Today, I was cuddling on the couch with my girlfriend when I started to tickle her, she asked me to stop but I continued. She had a reaction, and kneed me in the happy sacks. FML
Today, my mum was in a bad mood, so I tried to cheer her up by telling her I love her, and giving her a hug. She slapped me hard enough to leave a red, hand-shaped mark on my face, and told me to fuck off with my "sarcasm". FML
Today, while at the grocery store, I saw my mother. I thought it would be funny to scare her by sneaking up and grabbing her ass. Not only was it not my mom, I left the place with a ban from ever returning to that store. FML
Today, at a family dinner, my mother-in-law talked me into showing off some moves that I've learned in martial arts. I gently did a restraining hold on her. She screamed that I was trying to break her wrists, and kept the wounded act up all night, smirking as everyone gave me death glares. FML
Today, I was playing with my 3-year-old nephew when he suddenly got up and ran to his mom to tell her I was "touching in bad spots". I was tickling his armpits. FML
Today, my sister kicked me in the balls just before I went into the bathroom, as she wanted to use the shower first. Later, when I came out of the bathroom, she kneed me this time in the same spot because apparently I always make a mess in the bathroom. FML
Today, my 5 year old daughter thought it would be funny to wake me up by tickling my toes. I guess one of my reflexes acted out because I kicked her right in the face. FML
Today, at the mall my brother and I went to look at a vendor's items when my mom said not to touch anything. Thinking my brother was standing next to me, I saw him touching stuff so I smacked him in the arm and told him to stop. I turn to see that the old lady to my side was giving me a mean look. FML
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Top comments
Daerauko 0
good, stop irritating people
Firate 3
If you're that bored, how about helping your mom with the dishes instead of being an ass?
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Comments (139)
cartesianlogic 0
poor parrenting skills ftl
UrNotFunny 0
Cool mom.
scarsnstars45 0
rule #1: NEVER **** with Momma
jakeomatic 0
Rule #2: Never **** with my doritos. See what I did there?
DavidCooksAngel 0
you should not sneek up on a family member, or any one. once I punched my brother in the face. he thought it would be funny to sneak up on me and scare me. I turned around and punched him. gave him a black eye.
sucks4Udude 3
ydi for messing with your mom
alleyx3 0
haha superbowl commercial
bettadenne1 0
soo we won't be doing that again now will we?
mountaindru 0
that ho needs to learn to loosen up. I don't careif the kitchen is her domain or not, a poke for a kick in the balls is no fair trade. should decked her back in the air bags HARD.
Ouroboros_fml 0
next mother's day pretend not to be able to see or hear her, or make sure that she's aware you're off doing other things, maybe do this on her birthday too.
asuitablevictory 0
ABUSE
livluvlaff8 0
don't mess with ur mom when she's in a bad mood... it makes everything worse
ImaginaryFoe 1
#17 is right. Don't sneak up on anyone really. And your mum probably wasn't aiming for your nuts. She just got lucky and you didn't. Ice them down, big boy. YDI for intentionally annoying her but FYL cos I hear that can hurt a bit.
CHUCKBARTOWSKl 0
I pretty sure rule # 2 is double-tap
droppintacos 0
wow she sounds like a terrible mom...how could you possibly do that even if your in a bad mood? that could make you not have kids....
ipts 0
i hate people that say poke while poking someone. YDI for being such a f a g g o t
Jrook 0
whoever said poor parenting skills should shut the **** up. the world is full of high functioning retard assholes because "good" parenting skills. this is exactly what bush did during his childhood, look how that ended up. maybe if momma bush donkey kicked that little shit the country would be in a better spot
cater2U 0
well ydi because that's 100% annoying and 83 don't tell him to ice those!!! my friends told me that makes stuff shrink and then he would be back on here complaining about how his girlfriend left him because his thing shrank.
jt0070 0
who the hell gets random urges just to annoy people.... I'm on your mom's side on this one, you don't deserve your nuts you little prick
fmlurlife 0
ya i agree with 99
superblynoah 0
Hahaha! You have the best mom ever!!!
jossiegregg 5
haha that's hilarious!!! your mom sounds awesome!!!
metalhead256 0
23 a stupid comment
aliibaibii 0
haha and #1 is cardio
michie56 0
win!! (:
schnitzel5 0
just start crying an make her feel bad, that's what I did when I was a little kid
MissBrightsidee 0
she probably did it so you wouldn't be able to reproduce and have more strange children. only weird kids say "poke" as they poke someone. seriously, thank your mom for trying to help the world.
bishoprsv2 0
@16 I see what you did thar >_>.
ReyEr9412 0
Can you say PMS?
kinukle 0
FAILTACULAR
icifresh911 0
88 and 121 ZOOMBIELAND ftw!
boreddoubletears 0
A poke is equal to a kick in the balls when she had to push your little body through her pelvis...
icifresh911 0
Meant to say 120.. : )
StoryOfTheYear 15
16 best commercial I have ever seen during the superbowl) besides the Favre one
Asadsackopotatoe 0
lol ydi op
powermad80 2
I pressed YDI as soon as I read, "decided to annoy my mom."
ssasjb01 0
u obviously don't have any
greg1234567890_fml 2
this is something my aunt would do to me. i feel ur pain =(...
Emofluffinzhehe 0
SON I TOLD YOU NOT TO WALK BEHIND ME! i get scared...D,D
gomego87 0
m
Howlingwolf 0
idk I thought it was hilarious if not expected. Wish more parents were lyk that-w/o the ball kicking part tho xP
kayztastic 0
lmao. that actually made me laugh out loud. good one(:
CrazySmileyFace 0
wow... I don't mean to be perverted but your comment could be registered by someone in a totally different way than it was meant... I agree with this rule nevertheless. NEVER **** with Momma.
bella_coza 0
this made me laugh my ass off, your mom sounds fun and I'm sure she didn't mean to kick you in the junk!
rawrlily 0
88- beautiful Zombieland reference.
Daerauko 0
good, stop irritating people
Icarus_II 0
HAMMERFIST TO THE FACE! That atta teach the wipersnapper a lesson.
Firate 3
If you're that bored, how about helping your mom with the dishes instead of being an ass?
astro_plastic 0
Sounds like this would be an episode of Hannah Montana. Only your mom would be played by a feisty grandmother from Texas. **** punching Miley FTW.
PurelyHabit 0
Awesome.
silviam 7
that's funny.
iepiclyfial 0
best comment ever
garrettjordan 0
gezz snickerdoodles always somthing bad to say OP fyl that sucks I hate when parents take out there anger by kicking their children on the nuts
FYLDeep 26
PMS much?
sxychik 4
poor you... ydi though =
mama2b3 20
ydi leave ur mom alone
Vayant 0
Usually, sometimes good advice.
Foxy_On_Fire 21
haha I know how you feel. I would poke my dad over and over while chanting "dad" then he would slap me.