Today, a wasp knocked me out, broke my glasses, and left a gash over my eyebrow. It did so by flying under my glasses while I was playing my guitar, causing me to reflexively bat at it with the hand that was still grasping the guitar neck. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, there must have been a wasp clinging to my front door because when I walked outside, it dropped between my glasses and my face and began stinging me all around my eye. I don't know if my eye is more swollen from the stings or from me repeatedly punching myself in the face. FML
Today, I was trying to swat a wasp in my bedroom. I got so frustrated that I ended up punching myself in the face. The wasp is still here, and now I look like I've been in a brawl. FML
Today, as I was hanging washing out in the sun, a huge cicada flew into my face and somehow got behind my glasses. I screamed and ripped them off and ran away. I came back to a broken pair of VERY expensive glasses. FML
Today, a gnat hit my forehead, fell into the space between my glasses and my face, and bounced off my eye while trying desperately to escape. When I tried to get my glasses off, it fell into my mask instead, and I accidentally inhaled it. FML
Today, while scrubbing my car with the foam brush at a car wash, the hose for the brush came whipping around and smacked me hard in the side of the head, knocking off my glasses. I got disoriented from the blow and stepped on my glasses, completely smashing them. FML
Today, there was a gigantic wasp in my room. It stupidly flew upwards and got hit by the rotating fan. It then immediately decided to take it's revenge by stinging me. FML
Today, my friend bet everyone at my lunch table that no one could catch the fly that was flying around our table. I reached up and caught it. It was a wasp, and it stung me. FML
Today, I was stung by a wasp. Startled, I stumbled and grabbed a nearby tree branch to regain my balance. The branch happened to be the location of the wasp's nest, which fell to the ground and split open. The wasps weren't happy. FML
Today, there was a wasp tangled in my bed sheets. I found this out when I rolled over it in my sleep, and it stung me on the lower back. FML
Today, a spider crawled across my glasses' lens. My first reaction was to smack myself in the face. FML
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Top comments
Redlawnchair 9
Seriously awesome mental image.
packrat 26
Next time "bee" careful!
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Comments (80)
Redlawnchair 9
Seriously awesome mental image.
herpaderpaherp 17
Now that's a double whammy
lambda_fml 40
Thats the way of life of a rockstar. Sad but True.
VenomSiphon 13
Dude you gotta be careful about those White Anglo Saxon Protestants
tjv3 10
Sorry op but I needed the laugh thanks
packrat 26
Next time "bee" careful!
SammyS2012 21
"Remember, BEE yourself!"
Damian95 16
Your bee jokes are awesome, but kinda bugging me. Lets just bee more subtle about it.
sugarshane007 20
Hey what's all the buzz about?
Enslaved 38
The buzz is, even wasps love boo bees! :)
iAlissa 34
Your face must be stinging.
CynePhoba 23
Now now. . Enough with the waspy jokes.
viper8608 9
wasp the matter? you bee afraid of puns honey?
CaptTeemo 10
Head banging to a whole new level!
phatdaddy62 23
How do you reflexively smash your face with a guitar?
botanistjessica 24
I ******* hate bees/wasps/stinging flying insects. I once flipped a chair backwards freaking out about one and knocked my teacher over in highschool. I'm like...deathly allergic to stings. It's definitely the scariest thing in life for me.
happylappy 21
Apparently we would die in 4 years without them.
Bibliovore 26
#46: True, but we'd also die without the sun. I want that to stick around, too, but I'm not looking for a close encounter with it! (For that matter, I know someone who has an allergy-like response to bright sunlight: his eyes swell up.)
dancinwookie 21
#46: Nature relies heavily on bees for pollination. Cell phone signals, and such things, mess with their natural navigation, so the poor little guys freeze to death outside overnight without the warmth of their hive. #57: I have allergic reactions to the sun...well, sunburn really. It causes heat stroke in me, makes my skin itch like all hell has broken loose, and then it sloughs off D: That's why I'm glow-in-the-dark white.
FlamingColor 30
The big question is... Did you get it?
HKCgrimmjow 15
If he got it then the next FML would be about how he has wasp juice all in his eye
Jarod_Macaroni 6
well you got great relflexes idk how you hit yourself with the guitar though
gc327072 31
His hand was still on the guitar neck. Not a hard concept.
teamlightskin 14
Ouch. I hope it didnt do too much damage OP. Did yu kill it? Btw i loveee yur wording, great imagery.
botanistjessica 24
I never understood why people shortened it to yu. It just makes you look lazy and stupid as ****.
Enslaved 38
28, Ummm...Glass houses? Your post isn't perfect either. I can say this because my house is already a pile of shards. :P
HKCgrimmjow 15
Lots of people tlk liek dis nd I dnt nderstand y its so much harder than just using actual words -__-
morella_xx 29
@36, I've seen more than one person spell it as "yhu" which just pisses me off to no end. They're usually the kind of person who replaces all their g's with q's for some inexplicable reason. Just saying, "yu" is bad but it gets a lot worse, sadly.
SneakishMonk 2
It was a freakin' wasp! I wouldn't mind getting an eye popped out as long as I survive a WASP!
chanellgymnast 17
Did you kill it though?
karlcolt45 19
I know that feel bro. I hate wasps too
gracehi 33
Okay, why are people saying "I know that 'feel'" lately? "Feel" is a verb, not a noun. "Feeling" can be a verb or a noun. You don't know that "feel." You know that "feeling," "FEELING," dammit.
andyyroxx 20
Internet meme. U mad bro? ^shit like that, I know, it's horrible.
newyorkcityguy 9
It's an internet meme, calm down.
gracehi 33
Well, I did ask. I haven't seen that meme, but I'm sure it must be stupid, because it causes people to say stupid things.