Today, I was sitting on the couch with my fiancé, when he jumped up and viciously sat on my face. I then heard, smelled, and tasted the most violent, horrific fart known to man. I still can't get the taste out of my mouth, and he can't stop laughing. I'm getting married to this guy. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my fiancé hugged me so tight that I couldn't move, said he loved me, let out a loud, obnoxious and smelly fart cloud and made me breathe it in. FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML
Today, I hung out with my boyfriend for the first time in two weeks. We were cuddling on the couch when he suddenly stands up. I thought he was going to hug me, but then he turned around, pinned my shoulders back so I couldn't move, and farted in my face. FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. While getting down on one knee, he farted. FML
Today, the guy of my dreams told me he liked me and leaned in to kiss me. Just as our lips touched, I ripped a big ass fart. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time and we were alone. He was being super romantic and snuggling with me, and then out of nowhere he let out the biggest fart I've ever heard. He then explained how I should try to compete with it. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were play wrestling. I had pinned him down and was sitting on his chest when he suddenly squeezed my stomach, causing me to rip the loudest fart ever. He looked so shocked that I couldn't help but laugh. I laughed so hard that I accidentally peed on him as well. FML
Today, I was watching a romantic comedy at my boyfriend's house. During the make out scene, I decided to go in for a kiss. He apparently decided to belch at the same time. I could taste it. FML
Today, while naked, my fiancée said there was something wrong with her butt. She turned around and I leaned in to look at it. She then farted in my face. On purpose. FML
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Top comments
pinkcrayola 0
You're the one who picked him.
jellyD 1
Best reason ever to dump the, pardon me please!, asshole!!!
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Comments (173)
ZColeman44 0
Hahahahahahahaha funny. Male humor!
FMyDave 0
a woman who can take a mans gas...you two will love each other forever
gracehi 33
He *viciously sat on your face? I thought the fart was the viscous part.
gracehi 33
*vicious part
Wafflestomper 22
When I heard that, I thought he bounced off her head or something.
phatdaddy62 23
Actually both work.
acronach 5
epicness
MigraineurOfLife 15
Well, at least you already know that a future with him with Smell & Taste like S*** & if that isn't bad enough, you'll always be the one behind an ass!
GarysMom725 10
You're going to marry this sadistic person? You really need to rethink this.
KiddNYC1O 22
Get him back. Although he might really enjoy you sitting on his face...
mikeawesome 0
You're still marrying him?
bubbalou21 0
maybe you should return the favor, eh?
vde_fml 15
If I ever do this to my wife she'd kick my ass. If she does it I would pretty much do the same. And if we were not married I would reconsider my marriage plans.