Today, I hung out with my boyfriend for the first time in two weeks. We were cuddling on the couch when he suddenly stands up. I thought he was going to hug me, but then he turned around, pinned my shoulders back so I couldn't move, and farted in my face. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, I was seeing my boyfriend for the first time in 3 weeks. I was so excited to see him that I gave him a big hug. He must have been excited to see me too, because he hugged me so tight that he squeezed a fart out of me. FML
Today, my fiancé hugged me so tight that I couldn't move, said he loved me, let out a loud, obnoxious and smelly fart cloud and made me breathe it in. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time and we were alone. He was being super romantic and snuggling with me, and then out of nowhere he let out the biggest fart I've ever heard. He then explained how I should try to compete with it. FML
Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML
Today, I realized that the only time my boyfriend ever wants to hug me is just after he's let off a fart and wants to pull me into it. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were play wrestling. I had pinned him down and was sitting on his chest when he suddenly squeezed my stomach, causing me to rip the loudest fart ever. He looked so shocked that I couldn't help but laugh. I laughed so hard that I accidentally peed on him as well. FML
Today, my boyfriend of six months said he wanted to take our relationship one step further. I thought he was going to ask me to move in. He meant he wanted to fart in front of me. FML
Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as I walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML
Today, I finally felt comfortable enough to fart in front of my boyfriend for the first time. He went quiet, got up and left in his car. I haven't heard from him in 4 hours. FML
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Top comments
AngryNinja 1
that is uncalled for. I hope you left.
chih 0
I hope you smack the shit out of him. Get it? butt jokes...
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Comments (215)
AngryNinja 1
that is uncalled for. I hope you left.
killerviral 0
for a secodl", I thoguht he was going to rape u
AVainAttempt 0
This is obviously fake..
AngryNinja 1
not really. my dad farts on my mom all the time. i think it's a dominance thing. -.-
Bennjie 0
why would your dad do that? I mean It's so wrong... just doing that :/
fisheatsbear 6
maybe it's turns your mom on
natedog193 0
she doesnt need to dump him. he was just messin with her. i can undetstand her gettin pretty mad though
Rocco1990 0
it's something men do. Who ever tells OP to dumb him is really dumb.
z3r0nline 0
wtf what kin of parents do u hav farting on ur mum??? anyway slap him nd just be pissed
Tripout 0
it only means he loves her XD
AngryNinja 1
he's like.. scenting his territory. i find it repulsive. if my boyfriend/husband ever tried that, i'd shove a cork up his ass.
9010649 3
Lol
42billybob 5
I'm noticing a pattern here: 1) guy has an idea 2) girl notices him start something and expects something romantic/sweet/(insert delusion) automatically 3) guy's idea is a prank/joke/something she wasn't expecting 4) girl writes FML 5) females reply to dump him 6) males reply back 2 the kitchen
TrekkieGirl 0
@# 73, you are so right about the pattern. However, I must admit that this FML did make me laugh. Though if that ever happened to me, I have to kick my guy's ass. So gross!
Ajjas013 6
Foreplay fail :)
crazed123 0
ikr
idkweird 0
I will forever be grateful that I've never had a boyfriend that immature. Actually, the closest to that was my ex-fiance who would just fart around me all the time and laugh about it....he's 43... My current would never dream of that. I just will never see the humor in farting on someone.
Shamzzz 0
That sounds wrong .
marc33 0
comooon don't act like u don't fart.... I fart anywhere if I need to!!!! it's just ur body releasing some extra air.... so what..!!?? lol
ey3seecold 0
u should lay him down sit on his face and take a shit when he yells ahhhhh!!!
jillz 0
If she chooses to stay, she could reward him by soaking his favorite attire in the sweetest, most feminine smelling perfume. She could also put some garlic and onion in his shoes. People will just ~*love*~ him wherever he goes. Or she could smear some chocolate in the backs of his underwear and wash them. He just *might* be less likely to notice something similar to a track stain than any other person would be. Ooh, or she could use window markers and ...write Gay Pride on his vehicle along with messages of world peace, brotherly love, how we should respect our trees, and how Obama is so sexy. (nothing against homosexuals - been meaning to find a gay guy I can *safely* go shopping with anyhow :p - straight guys might have ulterior motives and all that jazz) ((this whole post was a joke))
EwigStolz 0
Yeah....... Because you've never thoughtfully executed any revenge on your boyfriends before. That's just way above you.
infiniti_G 0
Why were you on the couch instead of in the kitchen? YDI
deathcab7 0
ohh how classy. thats cute. :/ haha. fyl op.
tman118 0
that's true love
g124124 0
that would be the first hillarious fart fetish I know of
KASHMIR_fml 0
u got a ****** up family sweetheart
loski87 4
lmfao @ #120
truthisRelative 0
no offense but remind me to never, ever puss you off. I like your ideas though.
Reyo 2
He has claimed you. You are now his territory. Think of it as if it as the relationship held between a Butterfly and cocoon, except by Butterfly I mean his penis.
eric780 0
@73,haha YOU GOT IT that was funnier than any FMLs on here
Lolcopterplz 0
thts fukn gross. keep ur sht sanitary
asianbeanerman 0
id say foreplay win
leonq8 0
lol that show how far is your reLation lol
mattmadden 0
Talk about no respect for you whatsoever OP. Dump that disgusting disrespectful bastard.
heeheehoo 0
Ditch the bastard.
vtsocks 2
lots man hating lesbos here! it's a sign of comfort in the relationship and love! Plus it's funny : )
AngryNinja 1
it's not funny. it's demeaning and vile. i'm straight and i would dump that asshole in a second. beside the fact that around half of the guys posting on here find it gross.
Ajjas013 6
You see what malicious TV programming like Barney does to our citizens?!
KayBizz 0
lmao ^
marc33 0
goddd, u must be alien...! and don't fart, huh? lol
vampyre_girly 0
" I love you, you love me. I'm a happy farting tree. " gosh I hate barney. I have a small dartboard with barneys, my sisters, and Mileys face on it. Hehe
g02hell 2
shut the hell up. don't act like you don't fart princess. p.s no one gives a shit what you find demeaning
MwahFMLS 6
I don't see why you are raging, I agree with her. This isn't about farting (though it's not flattering at all) it's about the farting in his girlfriends face because he found it somewhat humorous. You don't even have to be a gentlemen to not fart in someones face. Disgusting..
drbombay 0
dump that ************
sammy22 0
sorry! but that's bullshit!!
scuba1722 0
I can see it now... today, my girlfriend broke up with me for farting on her... fml!
intint50 0
^win.
chih 0
I hope you smack the shit out of him. Get it? butt jokes...
JoeJonasAnnoysMe 0
What an ass. No pun intended. Smack the crap out of him.
TehFuzzyOne 0
OWNED. just kidding. that stinks. (get it?)
sydneyanne 0
ewww what a ****** asshole
Jokro_fml 0
Hahahahahahahaha
JackStone96 4
eww that's just gross... smack the crap outta him or dump him... either works (get it dump
drips 0
dump that load of shit
fifilabella 0
fukin guys!!!