Today, I was sitting on the couch with my fiancé, when he jumped up and viciously sat on my face. I then heard, smelled, and tasted the most violent, horrific fart known to man. I still can't get the taste out of my mouth, and he can't stop laughing. I'm getting married to this guy. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my fiancé hugged me so tight that I couldn't move, said he loved me, let out a loud, obnoxious and smelly fart cloud and made me breathe it in. FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML
Today, I hung out with my boyfriend for the first time in two weeks. We were cuddling on the couch when he suddenly stands up. I thought he was going to hug me, but then he turned around, pinned my shoulders back so I couldn't move, and farted in my face. FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. While getting down on one knee, he farted. FML
Today, the guy of my dreams told me he liked me and leaned in to kiss me. Just as our lips touched, I ripped a big ass fart. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time and we were alone. He was being super romantic and snuggling with me, and then out of nowhere he let out the biggest fart I've ever heard. He then explained how I should try to compete with it. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were play wrestling. I had pinned him down and was sitting on his chest when he suddenly squeezed my stomach, causing me to rip the loudest fart ever. He looked so shocked that I couldn't help but laugh. I laughed so hard that I accidentally peed on him as well. FML
Today, I was watching a romantic comedy at my boyfriend's house. During the make out scene, I decided to go in for a kiss. He apparently decided to belch at the same time. I could taste it. FML
Today, while naked, my fiancée said there was something wrong with her butt. She turned around and I leaned in to look at it. She then farted in my face. On purpose. FML
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Top comments
pinkcrayola 0
You're the one who picked him.
jellyD 1
Best reason ever to dump the, pardon me please!, asshole!!!
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Comments (173)
Dommon 7
throw at him your used tampon pay back us usually a bitch.
Rebekkah1993 10
Some ones gotta love him...but it's all in fun...yes it was gross...but I bet one day you will look back at it and laugh...what a story to tell your children... :-)
HannahWho 8
No, someone doesn't HAVE to love him. If he is behaving like this then he needs to change his behavior. Also, I would never tell this story to potential children as it only encourages abusive behavior on their part. She should leave him for this, its abuse plain and simple. He could have seriously hurt her, given her pink eye or caused her to sufficate. You need to learn the difference between cute and potentially abusive.
gonaners16 4
YDI for still marrying him.
NessieNessa 1
My boyfriend of 3 years did that to me all the time. I broke up with him after like the fifth time of me asking him to stop because I realized that's so disrespectful. He doesn't respect you as a human being.
JuuChan 3
Don't lie. You know you liked it, you little masochist, you!
cliffibom 15
Thats shitty
lainzilla 14
Marriage isn't going to change him, it's just going to make it harder to get away when you finally realize he'll never stop.
skyeyez9 25
I say postpone the marriage and put him on probation. If he isn't sorry and keeps saying "lighten up or you can't take a joke." he isn't sorry for what he has done. In that case call off the marriage, or else he will forever humiliate you and downplay it as a joke. Of course payback is nice: pay some huge fat guy that cab easily overpower your fiance to the ground to drink prune juice, eat some eggs, cabbage and other gassy foods. Have him force your fiancé to the ground and fart in his face. Hopefully his butthole is directly over the mouth.
jmoreno 4
He tried to give u pink eye!
TheMaestro 4
Lighten up, no reason to overreact because of a gross joke
HannahWho 8
So potentially hurting the person you love is a joke? If they have been together this long and are going to marry then he should know what her limits are. A funny joke is popping out from the shower or replacing all her socks with rose petals or something silly. Not making her smell his farts.