Today, my five-year-old daughters realized that if one of them rang the doorbell, it would keep me distracted long enough for the other one to steal cookies from the kitchen. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I realized that my five-year-old daughters are deranged psychopaths, when one of them started screaming to get my attention while the other pulled the car door shut on my fingers. FML
Today, two children decided it would be fun to try to ding-dong-ditch me. I never answered the door as I saw them running away. They did it a couple of times before getting bored. That's when they decided it would be fun to come into my house instead. FML
Today, my 4-year-old twin sons discovered how to lock doors. They locked me out of the house while I was taking out the trash. I had to climb through the kitchen window, which they'd generously smeared with peanut butter. FML
Today, I asked my 7-year-old daughter what job she would like to have when she grows up. She calmly replied that she wouldn't have one; she'd just bring her husband round to my place and steal food from me. FML
Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML
Today, I discovered that when business is slow at my family-owned store, my daughter and another employee make a habit of sneaking away to the back room. I have literally been paying this kid to screw around with my daughter. FML
Today, I needed to grab something from the garage. As soon as the door closed, I heard a little click sound. My one-year-old seems to have figured out the door lock. FML
Today, I was babysitting for my neighbors. Their 5 year-old had finally fallen asleep at 11 after two hours of stories and songs. No sooner had I tiptoed out of the room did I realize that my phone had dropped out of my pocket onto the bed. It was ringing. It was their mother checking in. FML
Today, management told me that I couldn't have a doorbell on my door. How did they get my attention to tell me this? By ringing my doorbell. FML
Today, I locked myself out and had to enter my house via the back door. Thinking I was an intruder, my 7-year-old daughter slammed a metal rake into the back of my head. Nice to know she can take care of herself. FML
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Top comments
BellaBear90 27
Smart cookies :)
pam241 15
Genius kids you got there
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Comments (147)
BellaBear90 27
Smart cookies :)
\ 28
And master thieves :)
soccerstar1996 18
Wichita and her sister in zombieland!!!
massinator5 4
Ha cookies, I get it
Rohit281 13
#30- Wichita and Little Rock in Zombieland.
countryrose92 23
At least your know your kids are going to be clever and smart. :) even if it sucks now it will be worth the craziness now. :)
herpaderpaherp 17
Wish I had thought of this as a kid
pam241 15
Genius kids you got there
Robbieisadowg 16
Before you know it, they'll be stealing money from the parents wallet/purse!
KimJongIllest 8
#17 Shut the **** up
kyu_Q 19
You should try to channel their genius to me constructive activities
Kibaruto 33
#46 A bit harsh there, right?
KimJongIllest 8
#58 Nope I don't think so :D
KK3137 31
Haha my twin brother and I used to do this too :D I would always draw a picture and call my parents into my room so they would look at it, and while they were looking my brother would run into the kitchen to take candy. They only found out last year, over a decade after we stopped :D
TallMist 32
#17 Because obviously it's always the smart people that end up stealing. Kids today, huh? Good for nothing except for causing trouble. /sarcasm
Welshite 40
I would do much worse than just ring the doorbell for cookies. Especially chocolate chip cookies.
nickn426 14
What about Oreos?!
Mega07 6
I don't even imagine what you would do for a Klondike bar
cakeandfilm 13
Teamwork!
cakefete2 31
Now if only they could teach Congress that kind if goal oriented teamwork.
Freethaawave 19
My dogs do stuff like that.
rebelbelle 17
your dogs can ring doorbells?
JKROB 16
my dogs poor my bourbon for me
Freethaawave 19
One will bark at the door while the other snatches up my food the second i get up to see who's supposedly at the door.
Chellybelly92 14
Oh wow. Wait until they're older. I love the teamwork that siblings have.
Dramori 29
Lock 'em up... the kids, not the cookies ;)
Robbieisadowg 16
It seems whenever there is an FML involving children there's always that one child abuse joke that isn't funny...
Enslaved 38
Lock 'em up. . . using the coo-keys! :P
imbedderdenu 23
I have kids I thought it was hilarious! made me giggle
Cupcake040 17
@26- i find it funny that a comment saying locking a child up isnt funny to you meanwhile you made them out to be semi- criminals ( like stealing cookies is a gateway to stealing money)
ViviMage 40
You realize my twin brothers are developmentally delayed and almost missed the window to learn language and how to use speech because my stepmother abandoned them in their cribs to deal (or not deal) with twin antics? You can take that too far. And it does happen!
Robbieisadowg 16
#61 Ya but that was also a joke nobody got. Also child abuse and criminals are two very different topics.
crackpotL 33
Pavlov says when ever you have guests over your girls are going to start drooling.
cakefete2 31
Wonder what will happen when a girl scout rings the door bell?
rebelbelle 17
That's pretty good team work :)
JMichael 26
Your kids have the intelligence of an evil genius.