Today, I was sitting on the couch with my fiancé, when he jumped up and viciously sat on my face. I then heard, smelled, and tasted the most violent, horrific fart known to man. I still can't get the taste out of my mouth, and he can't stop laughing. I'm getting married to this guy. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my fiancé hugged me so tight that I couldn't move, said he loved me, let out a loud, obnoxious and smelly fart cloud and made me breathe it in. FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML
Today, I hung out with my boyfriend for the first time in two weeks. We were cuddling on the couch when he suddenly stands up. I thought he was going to hug me, but then he turned around, pinned my shoulders back so I couldn't move, and farted in my face. FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. While getting down on one knee, he farted. FML
Today, the guy of my dreams told me he liked me and leaned in to kiss me. Just as our lips touched, I ripped a big ass fart. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time and we were alone. He was being super romantic and snuggling with me, and then out of nowhere he let out the biggest fart I've ever heard. He then explained how I should try to compete with it. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were play wrestling. I had pinned him down and was sitting on his chest when he suddenly squeezed my stomach, causing me to rip the loudest fart ever. He looked so shocked that I couldn't help but laugh. I laughed so hard that I accidentally peed on him as well. FML
Today, I was watching a romantic comedy at my boyfriend's house. During the make out scene, I decided to go in for a kiss. He apparently decided to belch at the same time. I could taste it. FML
Today, while naked, my fiancée said there was something wrong with her butt. She turned around and I leaned in to look at it. She then farted in my face. On purpose. FML
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Top comments
pinkcrayola 0
You're the one who picked him.
jellyD 1
Best reason ever to dump the, pardon me please!, asshole!!!
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Comments (173)
OffToTheGayBar 9
I swear I hear "don't marry him" as advice on most of these. I wouldn't do what that guy did, but I would never marry a woman who broke up with me over a joke. What happened to love, people? >.<
Locoluis 15
Love is a fragile flower, and things like this are venom against love.
OffToTheGayBar 9
The memories, the smiles, the laughs, the experiences, the intimate bonding can all be thrown out the bloody window because of something that minute? Interesting. My concept of love must be greatly flawed, apologies.
robc32ca 4
Get out before it is too late
Nwthatzfunny 9
that happen to me once
just_sayin_81 4
I wouldn't marry someone like that...gross
KrayKrayGurl117 7
Wow, thats a uhhh very interesting individual right there...
oarisimo 4
In a lot of countries isn't it illegal to marry a 10 year old child?
HannahWho 8
The person is never responsible for the abuse given them by others. I am sure he didn't sit on her face and fart on their first date. Many times people can go years without seeing that side of their spouse/partner.
dirtysellers85 0
That just means he really loves you!
Calyx_fml 22
Don't marry a child. Seriously. You don't NEED to be married at all.
cloakedn007 1
It's the fart game! Don't get mad just get him back. lol