Today, I was sitting on the couch with my fiancé, when he jumped up and viciously sat on my face. I then heard, smelled, and tasted the most violent, horrific fart known to man. I still can't get the taste out of my mouth, and he can't stop laughing. I'm getting married to this guy. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my fiancé hugged me so tight that I couldn't move, said he loved me, let out a loud, obnoxious and smelly fart cloud and made me breathe it in. FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML
Today, I hung out with my boyfriend for the first time in two weeks. We were cuddling on the couch when he suddenly stands up. I thought he was going to hug me, but then he turned around, pinned my shoulders back so I couldn't move, and farted in my face. FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. While getting down on one knee, he farted. FML
Today, the guy of my dreams told me he liked me and leaned in to kiss me. Just as our lips touched, I ripped a big ass fart. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time and we were alone. He was being super romantic and snuggling with me, and then out of nowhere he let out the biggest fart I've ever heard. He then explained how I should try to compete with it. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were play wrestling. I had pinned him down and was sitting on his chest when he suddenly squeezed my stomach, causing me to rip the loudest fart ever. He looked so shocked that I couldn't help but laugh. I laughed so hard that I accidentally peed on him as well. FML
Today, I was watching a romantic comedy at my boyfriend's house. During the make out scene, I decided to go in for a kiss. He apparently decided to belch at the same time. I could taste it. FML
Today, while naked, my fiancée said there was something wrong with her butt. She turned around and I leaned in to look at it. She then farted in my face. On purpose. FML
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Top comments
pinkcrayola 0
You're the one who picked him.
jellyD 1
Best reason ever to dump the, pardon me please!, asshole!!!
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Comments (173)
happymom2g 0
Just say no!!!!!
ice723 5
why would you still be engaged to him its never going to stop
WTFreversed 5
You're meant to sit on his face
hamtaro331 0
There's your sign
i_love_giraffes 5
So we should feel sorry for your decision to marry this guy? Only way I could feel sorry for you is if this was an arranged marriage situation, otherwise don't whinge about your dumbass decisions. Either leave the dude or learn to love the nickname "Brownie McFartface."
cacheson 42
Can anyone explain what it means to "whinge"? I'm lost on that one. ;D
ChildVanParty69 0
Good god, I had a very violent image in my head.
lollipop77_fml 6
Who says you have to marry this guy? Just remember, guys hardly ever grow out of thinking lacing one is hilarious!!
zues70 4
Dump him...
hotcaligirl 10
This can start out as a harmless joke, but it can turn into a VERY serious problem. If you don't like it OP, tell him now & if shit doesn't change, leave him. I've gone through this & my ex would do it whenever I couldn't see it coming to defend myself- he'd hold me down and make me smell it. It's abusive and it's NOT FUNNY.
sarahwaugh 4
Oh wow, he knows you can get pink eye from that right?