Today, a Russian guy came up to me on the train and informed me that I look exactly like a typical Russian woman. He then went on to explain that I even had enough fat to survive their cold winters. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my very handsome, fit, Russian boyfriend tried to make me feel better about being a little overweight by telling me, "It's okay, you're American, everyone expects you to be fat." FML
Today, several Ukrainians didn't believe me when I said I was American. Apparently I'm not fat enough. FML
Today, I was on a train. An elderly woman and her daughter got on, looking for a seat. The daughter suggested the one next to mine. The elderly woman looked at me and said something in Russian. I speak some Russian. She said she didn't want to "sit by the hooker." FML
Today, I tried asking a guy I like on a date. He turned me down, saying that I "seem like a nice person and all", but after seeing those reality shows on truTV, he "would rather not date a Russian. No offense, though." FML
Today, I was riding the train and saw a cute guy licking his lips at me. Flattered, I gave him my number when the train stopped. He looked at me and said, "Don't flatter yourself. You have mustard on your face." FML
Today, my crush walked me home. As my mom opens the door, she tells me in Russian how ugly he is, and that I have extremely bad taste. Out of all the languages in the world, he happens to be fluent in Russian. FML
Today, I met a woman that I've been emailing and trading pics with for over a month. We had a face to face, she was surprisingly overweight, and the sun hit her face in a way that radiated all her facial hair. FML
Today, while I was waiting for my train, a drugged out dude found it apropos to tell me women should be eaten like livestock, because they would, "probably be delicious." I'm a woman. FML
Today, I learned that the guy I was dating got with me under the impression that I was Asian. I have Asian features but I’m from Kazakhstan, which is a former Soviet country part of Asia. When I told him I spoke Russian, he called me a “communist Putin puppet” and to “stop making up fake countries.” FML
Today, I went out with a guy who, about 20 minutes into our dinner, said, "Wow, you don't sweat much for a fat chick." FML
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Top comments
Jiinxx 8
Honesty must be a big thing in Russia..
bballsoccerrocks 7
Saving money on winter coats!
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Comments (111)
Jiinxx 8
Honesty must be a big thing in Russia..
ladyLALAA 29
I know gay identical Russian twins, they are absolutely brutal. I have heard them say many inappropriate things in public and wait for the day it gets them into trouble!
MatheusRajuidas 5
-sigh- And that's the reason I hate being Russian, being compared to this dark mass of meat...
manatees_r_epic 0
It's okay 32. You don't count, 'cause you're on FML.
bunniex1 11
both of them are gay??? that seems awesome!!!!
death_prevails 6
32, agreed. The majority of Russians are just plain rude, I hate to be associated with that country at times...
VasilisaUzhasnaj 29
Yeah, we're a vulgar lot. Better to be honest than a liar, in my opinion. I on the other hand, am not ashamed.
MizzErikaHart 8
Was hoping to read sum "in soviet Russia" comments.
skyeyez9 25
I know a guy from Romania that is equally rude.
megapeyt 17
Haven't any of you ever had a brother??? You're supposed to respond in kind! He calls you a douche you call him an ass. Simple concept.
MatheusRajuidas 5
I indeed am sorry but it's not just the vulgarity but also the supreme level of social and global idiocy in this damn country. Oh and btw, I have two brothers. And btw, the vulgarity in Russia has it's roots growing in the soil of the stupidity average. And to finally satisfy everyone: "In soviet Russia, breakfast eats you."
Daederoth 10
He was hitting on you, Russian style.
TheEpicMilkMan 13
@59 brilliant sir C:
bballsoccerrocks 7
Saving money on winter coats!
thiscrazything 1
At least you know that you can survive a Siberian winter. All the skinny people would die off in the first few weeks.
nonamericandolla 6
I think he's right! My grandma says she been a Russian many times and winters ARE cold! Pay attention just incase...
Guren 0
Did he say you look like you cold handle their Vodka too?
heyhihello95 12
He sounds like a documentary.
ladyLALAA 29
What is it with crazy people on trains? I swear they just hang out on the train all day, waiting for unexpecting(sp?) commuters to pounce on!
iamyummylicious 14
Unexpecting isn't a word. Instead try the words "unexpected", "unaware", or "unsuspecting".
ladyLALAA 29
Thank you, I knew it didn't look right I am just tired and was too lazy to check! :$
bmwguy01 8
unsuspecting is what she was going for
iamyummylicious 14
I thought so, but I offered more choices :)
Dukekamono 5
I bet you did :p
bballsoccerrocks 7
Saving money on winter coats!
bballsoccerrocks 7
I don't k ow what it always double posts for me
EmreArslan 11
Lol a double post? I doubt that cuz there is a 3 minutes difference with ur first one...
Ithelpstodream 5
I'm a bit of a dipshit. You can come live with me, but I'm afraid the only body parts I'll be rubbing warm are my incredibly small nuts. ;)
AlaskaKid95 7
But then OP won't be able to survive cold Russian winters. /:
peachesncreem 21
The Russian way to pick up women?
ladyLALAA 29
I think there would be a lot if single Russians in ghat case.
ladyLALAA 29
*that. Gosh, sorry grammar Nazis, I am having a shocker tonight!
sdelawsky 2
I'm dating a Russian guy. He has his quirks, as does anyone. But he is no different than anyone else just because of where he is from.
jc95sd 3
Or #46 you are an idiot and will stay with anyone ;D
Justin23L 2
I think that means he wants to ****.
MikeDa1Da 14
In soviet Russia, train ride you!
shizzathon 5
FYL, that guy was an absolute asshole. It's bad enough to just start talking to someone on the train without them being reciprocative, but to say something like that is horrendous. Don't pay any attention to him.Dick.
KiddNYC1O 22
Everyone calm the **** down. COUGH Person above me COUGH
dsbs 9
Chill out jizzathon, he was giving her a compliment.
Alelol 3
Total bs