Today, I was sitting on the couch with my fiancé, when he jumped up and viciously sat on my face. I then heard, smelled, and tasted the most violent, horrific fart known to man. I still can't get the taste out of my mouth, and he can't stop laughing. I'm getting married to this guy. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my fiancé hugged me so tight that I couldn't move, said he loved me, let out a loud, obnoxious and smelly fart cloud and made me breathe it in. FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML
Today, I hung out with my boyfriend for the first time in two weeks. We were cuddling on the couch when he suddenly stands up. I thought he was going to hug me, but then he turned around, pinned my shoulders back so I couldn't move, and farted in my face. FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. While getting down on one knee, he farted. FML
Today, the guy of my dreams told me he liked me and leaned in to kiss me. Just as our lips touched, I ripped a big ass fart. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time and we were alone. He was being super romantic and snuggling with me, and then out of nowhere he let out the biggest fart I've ever heard. He then explained how I should try to compete with it. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were play wrestling. I had pinned him down and was sitting on his chest when he suddenly squeezed my stomach, causing me to rip the loudest fart ever. He looked so shocked that I couldn't help but laugh. I laughed so hard that I accidentally peed on him as well. FML
Today, I was watching a romantic comedy at my boyfriend's house. During the make out scene, I decided to go in for a kiss. He apparently decided to belch at the same time. I could taste it. FML
Today, while naked, my fiancée said there was something wrong with her butt. She turned around and I leaned in to look at it. She then farted in my face. On purpose. FML
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Top comments
pinkcrayola 0
You're the one who picked him.
jellyD 1
Best reason ever to dump the, pardon me please!, asshole!!!
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Comments (173)
PussyPredator 6
He's testing you to see if you really love him. I think you passed.
LennyComa 39
Hes a keeper I guess
williamcarter93 13
goddamn.
hemz_fml 13
I'm going to get hated on but I hate FMLs like this because it's your dumb ass marrying him anyway so you should have known he was kind of stupid. Plain and simple.
capnbzarr 43
I clicked "YDI" entirely because of your last sentence, which should have been, "I'm calling off the wedding".
laden_swallow09 35
No, you don't. You're not married yet and you can still call it off. If he keeps up adolescent pranks like this, he's not worth the time. DEFINITELY not dad material.
anajanet1 4
My boyfriend would do something like that and laugh too .
hateevryone 15
And you chose this guy, why?
IsMyWenieHard 0
I totally agree with this guy^^^ because your the dumb bitch that said yes and if you really loved him it wouldn't be such a big deal to where you had to blast it on the Internet... Congrats your the idiot YDI
Jdimp 1
According to Peter griffin, the sexiest thing you can do for a man is love the smell of his fart. Love it