Today, I was sitting on the couch with my fiancé, when he jumped up and viciously sat on my face. I then heard, smelled, and tasted the most violent, horrific fart known to man. I still can't get the taste out of my mouth, and he can't stop laughing. I'm getting married to this guy. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my fiancé hugged me so tight that I couldn't move, said he loved me, let out a loud, obnoxious and smelly fart cloud and made me breathe it in. FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML
Today, I hung out with my boyfriend for the first time in two weeks. We were cuddling on the couch when he suddenly stands up. I thought he was going to hug me, but then he turned around, pinned my shoulders back so I couldn't move, and farted in my face. FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. While getting down on one knee, he farted. FML
Today, the guy of my dreams told me he liked me and leaned in to kiss me. Just as our lips touched, I ripped a big ass fart. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time and we were alone. He was being super romantic and snuggling with me, and then out of nowhere he let out the biggest fart I've ever heard. He then explained how I should try to compete with it. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were play wrestling. I had pinned him down and was sitting on his chest when he suddenly squeezed my stomach, causing me to rip the loudest fart ever. He looked so shocked that I couldn't help but laugh. I laughed so hard that I accidentally peed on him as well. FML
Today, I was watching a romantic comedy at my boyfriend's house. During the make out scene, I decided to go in for a kiss. He apparently decided to belch at the same time. I could taste it. FML
Today, while naked, my fiancée said there was something wrong with her butt. She turned around and I leaned in to look at it. She then farted in my face. On purpose. FML
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Top comments
pinkcrayola 0
You're the one who picked him.
jellyD 1
Best reason ever to dump the, pardon me please!, asshole!!!
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Comments (173)
Auzzymac 3
that's disgusting , icky..
RBntM 10
Eww!
noshatsherlockk 15
At least he feels comfortable with you!
IPoopedOnU 12
That's a little too comfortable...
GothicAngel17 24
OP's gonna get pink eye. Seriously though, that's disgusting. I would have punched him in the balls.
102Percent 5
In his boyish mind hes just telling you he loves you.
amoscore 5
Can it compare to Steve-O's reaction when they gave it to him Jackass 2?
Phil135 4
Damn, don't people know this is how you get pink eye? SMH -_-
ZeroIce 12
With a V?
girl112891 7
You need to get a serious message through if you're marrying the guy. Really! Sitting on your face alone is bad enough!
gators1995 30
What can I say?? Adults are responsible and immature
jellyD 1
Best reason ever to dump the, pardon me please!, asshole!!!
thiscrazything 1
Yeah, otherwise, good luck with a lifetime of bliss with that one.
mrmerino 0
Mein Gott, nobody cares if you swear in the Internet!
Michaelsgirl04 9
64: I think the "pardon me please" was for the possible pun in the word "asshole" since this fml is about farts. I could be wrong though.
GothicAngel17 24
I love it when people say mein gott xD
sezual 15
I'm not sure if that alone is enough reason to end an engagement, you did say 'yes' for a reason. Although, if the reasons you said yes don't outweigh this situation then you definitely have some thinking to do. It also bothers me when someone says 'and I'm marrying this man' and it's not implied as a good thing. Speak to him about it, I know it's hard to change habits but I'm sure farting in people's faces isn't a personal trait that he holds dear. If it is, run as fast as you can.
torbey 23
get him back for it!
pinkcrayola 0
You're the one who picked him.
mattorama 15
Seriously, is this an arranged marriage or something?
heyhihello95 12
What an idiot.
julian_brunt 4
Brilliant!!!
ladyLALAA 29
There's always one...
BeefyQueef 5
What's with all the terrible first comments?
ladyLALAA 29
I'm not sure, but this is the 7th :)
firefighterjohn 9
I've done that to my girlfriend but she was tied up and couldn't do anything about it muuhahaha
Crazberry 5
And this, ladies, is why the man should be tied up instead of you :P
ladyLALAA 29
If my man were to do that to me I would really lose my cool. Vile!
MetalxSoldier 26
Wow, I bet all her friends are jealous! Not!
transilvanianson 3
Hahaha god what an asshole
Colonel_Lexi 18
That must have been pretty embarASSing.
bananasquid21 6
Your comment lacks quality.
shizzathon 5
Oh guys, lighten up, that's hilarious. What's a relationship without a bit of slagging and fun?
THE_A_TEEN 28
If sitting on your fiancé's face and violently farting is considered fun to you, then your chances of being with a girl is very slim.
THE_A_TEEN 28
*with anybody Childlike play is fun, but that's crossing the line...
DjeePee 25
Hilarious? I'm afraid we two have a complete different view on humor, pal. To be honest, I think this is more humiliating and disturbing and totally-not-acceptable-from-your-beloved-partner than hilarious.
Azula272 14
But you come prepared. Gas Mask & all XD
RedPillSucks 33
DjeePee, was this your FML?
asiandude801 4
And that's why she has a gas mask at all times
shezzdogga 2
Hahaha amen to you! It's hilarious :)
shizzathon 5
I'm a girl, actually, and have been in a blissful, committed, yet incredibly fun relationship for the past nine months. :)
peachesncreem 21
True love isn't just blind, it also has no sense of smell.
Andr913 13
Or hearing/taste.