Today, I was sitting on the couch with my fiancé, when he jumped up and viciously sat on my face. I then heard, smelled, and tasted the most violent, horrific fart known to man. I still can't get the taste out of my mouth, and he can't stop laughing. I'm getting married to this guy. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my fiancé hugged me so tight that I couldn't move, said he loved me, let out a loud, obnoxious and smelly fart cloud and made me breathe it in. FML
Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML
Today, I hung out with my boyfriend for the first time in two weeks. We were cuddling on the couch when he suddenly stands up. I thought he was going to hug me, but then he turned around, pinned my shoulders back so I couldn't move, and farted in my face. FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. While getting down on one knee, he farted. FML
Today, the guy of my dreams told me he liked me and leaned in to kiss me. Just as our lips touched, I ripped a big ass fart. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time and we were alone. He was being super romantic and snuggling with me, and then out of nowhere he let out the biggest fart I've ever heard. He then explained how I should try to compete with it. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were play wrestling. I had pinned him down and was sitting on his chest when he suddenly squeezed my stomach, causing me to rip the loudest fart ever. He looked so shocked that I couldn't help but laugh. I laughed so hard that I accidentally peed on him as well. FML
Today, I was watching a romantic comedy at my boyfriend's house. During the make out scene, I decided to go in for a kiss. He apparently decided to belch at the same time. I could taste it. FML
Today, while naked, my fiancée said there was something wrong with her butt. She turned around and I leaned in to look at it. She then farted in my face. On purpose. FML
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Top comments
pinkcrayola 0
You're the one who picked him.
jellyD 1
Best reason ever to dump the, pardon me please!, asshole!!!
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Comments (173)
caviar_fml 2
YDI for deciding to marry a child
Crazberry 5
Then don't marry him :P
Jasonf6 0
He's only your fiance. It's not too late ya know.
Havin 19
Yeah if it was bad enough to post on FML, RUN.
iamyummylicious 14
That stinks. HA! First to use that shitty pun :o!
micahsmommy 13
Boys will be boys....maybe go find him some nice guy mates to do this with instead of you.
HannahWho 8
I hate when people use the term "boys will be boys" as if whatever behavior shown is okay because of their gender. My brothers (I have about three) and my male cousins, would never do things like this. No boyfriend I have ever been with, or the men I met when i went to college, ever acted like this. What excuses this behavior just because he has genitals that stick out? Nothing. So, Micah's Mommy, don't make excuses based on the gender of people just because you might have a son who you could not control.
Lago_fml 3
First of all, you have -about- three brothers? Are you not sure? And if you do have multiple brothers and they have never done anything like this, then I am inclined to think you're just full of it. Chill out, don't try to insult the poster just because you disagree with them
micahsmommy 13
115 - I question how much time you spend with your brothers. I don't condone the actions described in the FML but I was one of those annoying younger sisters who followed my brother and his mates everywhere. I can definitely see one of them pulling something like this.
MEM0817 18
Unless there's two rings on that finger, its not too late...
Stupend0us 7
At least he didn't shart.
emilywightman 4
Poop particles!
perdix 31
Invite DjeePee to your wedding and tell her you are registered at Crate & Gas Mask. On the other hand, you can always dump that loser. Being single is worse than being force-fed farts?
KiddNYC1O 22
The real problem is loving the asshole those farts came out from.