Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I hung out with my boyfriend for the first time in two weeks. We were cuddling on the couch when he suddenly stands up. I thought he was going to hug me, but then he turned around, pinned my shoulders back so I couldn't move, and farted in my face. FML
Today, I was taking a shower. I heard my boyfriend come into the bathroom, brush his teeth and take off his clothes. He joined me in the shower and instead of doing something loving or sexy, he let out a huge fart into his hand and threw it into my face. FML
Today, while my boyfriend was asleep, I gave him a soft kiss and whispered how handsome and gentle he looked. His response, still asleep, was to roll over and let out a massive fart. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML
Today, my fiancé hugged me so tight that I couldn't move, said he loved me, let out a loud, obnoxious and smelly fart cloud and made me breathe it in. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time and we were alone. He was being super romantic and snuggling with me, and then out of nowhere he let out the biggest fart I've ever heard. He then explained how I should try to compete with it. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were play wrestling. I had pinned him down and was sitting on his chest when he suddenly squeezed my stomach, causing me to rip the loudest fart ever. He looked so shocked that I couldn't help but laugh. I laughed so hard that I accidentally peed on him as well. FML
Today, during an argument that he couldn't win, my boyfriend farted in a glass, covered it with his hand, ran to me, and let it go it right in front of my nose. FML
Today, my boyfriend dislocated my jaw by sitting on my face while trying to fart on it. FML
Today, I had a serious talk with my boyfriend about our relationship troubles. He stopped me in the middle of a sentence with a huge fart. FML
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Top comments
auro7 18
It's 4am, so tired I didn't notice it say when HE laughed I kinda skimmed the FML and read it as "I laughed". Thought OP was laughing at her boyfriend farting and then he got mad and spit on her. Well thanks for clearing that up.
Damafia 19
He spit on her while he was laughing...say it don't spray it type of thing.
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Comments (63)
auro7 18
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Ok the farting part was kinda weird but the spitting part? Why would he spit on you while you guys were cuddling?
Damafia 19
He spit on her while he was laughing...say it don't spray it type of thing.
auro7 18
It's 4am, so tired I didn't notice it say when HE laughed I kinda skimmed the FML and read it as "I laughed". Thought OP was laughing at her boyfriend farting and then he got mad and spit on her. Well thanks for clearing that up.
octinate 17
At least he didn't fart during sex!
peanuty001 19
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
time to find a new boyfriend bc hes definitely not a keeper
184886837272837 32
Well I don't think it's reasonable to break up with someone because they farted. She also really shouldn't break up with him because he spit on her because that was an accident...
van__hawthorne 12
People fart dude. It's not a deal breaker to fart or accidentally spit a little when you laugh. Smh
stargirl_95 24
You would break up with someone over a fart? That's ridiculous and harsh. Have fun being single forever
BootheGhost 6
Shit happens
shay_serendipity 29
Wow, people on FML are always so quick to tell the OP to divorce or break up with someone.
brand125 17
#4 is not a keeper
Octwo 16
Pretty sure she was referring to him acting like a two year old, not because he farted.
van__hawthorne 12
All he did was laugh. Sometimes situationally farts are funny. It can be a little irritating when someone gleeks (sp?) on you but I don't think that automatically means he was acting like a two-year-old.
Mad_Or_Nah 13
i found a keeper
Demoniq 25
People view romance in different ways. Your boyfriend views it through a 5-year-old's filter :P
Enslaved 38
I hope it was he laughed so hard that some spit "accidentally" came out if his mouth and hit the OP and not how many people will interpret this FML as him clear his throat phlegm. Kinda like talking too close to a splitter. :P
Mauskau 36
Nope, I'm sure everyone interpreted correctly.
okudatwo 11
Nope, I'm pretty sure #8 is right. Who the hell would spit in someone's face on purpose?
184886837272837 32
he wasn't sleeping
phoneaddict13 29
**** him hard!! let him feel your nice juicy nipples and that smooth ****** of yours omfg my friend just wrote that
Mad_Or_Nah 13
why would you post it then,
theorangecurls 18
Time to find someone who respects you more
Mad_Or_Nah 13
He probably had one slip,since when is farting a sign of no respect,its a natural process of the body.
Jreslier 15
K
mkayden 23
L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
brandoneyez1 25
Not romantic, and finds it funny to fart in front of his gf. Sorry OP you can do better.
PinkishToe 9
What are they suppose to do if they ever live together? Not ever fart? That causes stomach pains, not worth it. Or leave the room every time he has too fart? That would get annoying. I understand the whole romance thing, but it happens. Time to get out of fantasy land