Today, I was installing updates on my 16 year old daughter's laptop, when I got the urge to snoop around. I found a 5,000 word sex story involving her and the Edward and Jacob weirdos from the Twilight movies. I can't even look her in the eyes. I can't believe I raised this freak. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I walked in on my daughter hugging and sobbing into her Edward Cullen cut-out. She won't tell me what's wrong, yet she can confide in a creepy fictional stalker whose facial expression is locked to "chronically constipated". Where did I go wrong? FML
Today, I discovered that my 15 year old girl had hidden a disgusting porn film in the "future career" folder. FML
Today, my mom found a book of dirty stories I'd written in tenth grade. She then told me that I wrote about things she'd never even thought about, and she's been having sex for years. If that wasn't bad enough, she's taken them in to work to show people. FML
Today, after waiting for years for my oldest daughter to grow out of Twilight, my younger daughter discovered it. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend still writes Twilight fan fiction. FML
Today, I found my daughter's fanfiction account. I need a new pair of eyes, or brain bleach, or both. FML
Today, I came home and caught my husband in a compromising position. He was watching Twilight. FML
Today, while on my Dad's computer, I looked through the browser history to find the name of a website I'd visited on it the other day. I soon found out he watches a staggering amount of downright frightening incest porn. I'm disturbed on so many levels. FML
Today, I attempted to snoop around my daughter’s room, because I suspect her of having sex with her boyfriend behind my back. Hoping to find the evidence, I went to her room as soon as she left for school. Turns out she rigged her bedroom door. With glitter. Uh oh. FML
Today, I noticed my hidden porn folder on my laptop had been renamed to "LOL". I live with my teenage daughter, and no one else. FML
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Top comments
limeyemilyy 0
Rewrite some of it to freak her out
zcheema17 0
Lol! Don't go snoop around her stuff! But that is weird...
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Comments (480)
Deathhound 27
Well, you don't need to snoop around. I know I have been very angry with you.
AmberHall 2
What a lovely father you are. Snooping on your 16 year old daughter's computer for sexual stuff (because that is EXACTLY what you were looking for- which makes you pretty creepy yourself) and then calling her a freak because she does something which while ******* odd is hardly unusual for a girl her age. Next time try installing the updates without invading someone's privacy. How would you like it if she sneaked into your room and found all the tranny-**** you've got hidden under your bed, or the teenage girls gone wild videos on YOUR computer?
Deathhound 27
I agree with you 100%!
ikickgingers 15
You did a word count ? Hmmm ?
AZUMIKKEL 3
do you know what Microsoft Office - Word is? it can count words
ikickgingers 15
Yes but why would that be something he would pay attention to? Dont be a jackass I was just questioning why that was something deemed important
kayvan 8
Oh come on. The only difference between you and her is that your story would be handwritten and involve some old timey movie actress from the talkies. ;-)
delfino1604 24
lesson learned, now stop snooping around ;)
Cheesecakee 11
Um im pretty sure alot of 16yo girls fantasize about them...even though edward is completly disgusting
1twilight 0
well thats mean. im sure you did some creepy shit when you were her age.
emilylovestalor 0
LMFAO!!! sorry thts rly messed up lls!
AmberHall 2
Oops replied in wrong place
ikickgingers 15
Okay I'm reading about everyone pissed off at the freak comment... It's of a sexual nature maybe he meant his daughter is a sexual freak? Like butter , cheese curds, nipple clamps, a 30 rack of bud light, some matches, a torture rack, 4 rolling pins, 2 bowling balls, and some tripe entry points and rolling around in the blood the gay vamp just juiced out of unmentionable body parts.
AmberHall 2
Then he should at least give her points for imagination