Today, I was installing updates on my 16 year old daughter's laptop, when I got the urge to snoop around. I found a 5,000 word sex story involving her and the Edward and Jacob weirdos from the Twilight movies. I can't even look her in the eyes. I can't believe I raised this freak. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I walked in on my daughter hugging and sobbing into her Edward Cullen cut-out. She won't tell me what's wrong, yet she can confide in a creepy fictional stalker whose facial expression is locked to "chronically constipated". Where did I go wrong? FML
Today, I discovered that my 15 year old girl had hidden a disgusting porn film in the "future career" folder. FML
Today, my mom found a book of dirty stories I'd written in tenth grade. She then told me that I wrote about things she'd never even thought about, and she's been having sex for years. If that wasn't bad enough, she's taken them in to work to show people. FML
Today, after waiting for years for my oldest daughter to grow out of Twilight, my younger daughter discovered it. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend still writes Twilight fan fiction. FML
Today, I found my daughter's fanfiction account. I need a new pair of eyes, or brain bleach, or both. FML
Today, I came home and caught my husband in a compromising position. He was watching Twilight. FML
Today, while on my Dad's computer, I looked through the browser history to find the name of a website I'd visited on it the other day. I soon found out he watches a staggering amount of downright frightening incest porn. I'm disturbed on so many levels. FML
Today, I attempted to snoop around my daughter’s room, because I suspect her of having sex with her boyfriend behind my back. Hoping to find the evidence, I went to her room as soon as she left for school. Turns out she rigged her bedroom door. With glitter. Uh oh. FML
Today, I noticed my hidden porn folder on my laptop had been renamed to "LOL". I live with my teenage daughter, and no one else. FML
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Top comments
limeyemilyy 0
Rewrite some of it to freak her out
zcheema17 0
Lol! Don't go snoop around her stuff! But that is weird...
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Comments (480)
nikijcchz 10
the fact that u know so much about twilight saddens me!
airess010 0
I am so sorry
comedysilver08 4
You should replace every use of the words "my ******/mouth/etc." with "a pencil sharpener".
derpapod 0
I've read through most of these comments and I notice everyone saying this person is a terrible dad, or atleast most of them. Sad fact is that I know a mother that would say this or act this way about her daughter, who happens to be the exact same age and writes stories like this. I'm worried.
Mr_mur_der 0
Can I get her number in two years?
paigeminem 3
Wow perv!
IantoJones_fml 30
Hey, at least she's putting time and effort into creative writing. Some pretty famous authors got their start writing fanfic (Lois McMaster Bujold, Melanie Rawn, Joanna Russ, Della Van Hise, Margaret Wander Bonanno, Diane Duane, A.C. Crispin...) Encourage her creativity even if the subject matter bugs you. Also, at sixteen, better writing **** than getting in trouble...
kyoxxmiyavi 0
ur an asshole for saying that,,,,
HagarenLei 0
Oh get over it! She is one of a million that do that, except most post it on the Internet too. Feel lucky
duravian 1
She counted every word....
TJSpeed91 4
You moron it tells you how many words!
gottageek 17
FYL, if she's writing horrible fanfics she's probably just as obsessive outside of it. Twilight = the death of good supernatural literature as we know it. As far as those complaining it's her privacy, she's 16 and likely did not pay for the laptop herself. Privacy voided.