Today, I was installing updates on my 16 year old daughter's laptop, when I got the urge to snoop around. I found a 5,000 word sex story involving her and the Edward and Jacob weirdos from the Twilight movies. I can't even look her in the eyes. I can't believe I raised this freak. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I walked in on my daughter hugging and sobbing into her Edward Cullen cut-out. She won't tell me what's wrong, yet she can confide in a creepy fictional stalker whose facial expression is locked to "chronically constipated". Where did I go wrong? FML
Today, I discovered that my 15 year old girl had hidden a disgusting porn film in the "future career" folder. FML
Today, my mom found a book of dirty stories I'd written in tenth grade. She then told me that I wrote about things she'd never even thought about, and she's been having sex for years. If that wasn't bad enough, she's taken them in to work to show people. FML
Today, after waiting for years for my oldest daughter to grow out of Twilight, my younger daughter discovered it. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend still writes Twilight fan fiction. FML
Today, I found my daughter's fanfiction account. I need a new pair of eyes, or brain bleach, or both. FML
Today, I came home and caught my husband in a compromising position. He was watching Twilight. FML
Today, while on my Dad's computer, I looked through the browser history to find the name of a website I'd visited on it the other day. I soon found out he watches a staggering amount of downright frightening incest porn. I'm disturbed on so many levels. FML
Today, I attempted to snoop around my daughter’s room, because I suspect her of having sex with her boyfriend behind my back. Hoping to find the evidence, I went to her room as soon as she left for school. Turns out she rigged her bedroom door. With glitter. Uh oh. FML
Today, I noticed my hidden porn folder on my laptop had been renamed to "LOL". I live with my teenage daughter, and no one else. FML
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Top comments
limeyemilyy 0
Rewrite some of it to freak her out
zcheema17 0
Lol! Don't go snoop around her stuff! But that is weird...
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Comments (480)
Marcumms 0
First of all that's messed up of you to put your own daughter on blast and secondly you probably did weirder stuff when you were a kid. Takes a freak to raise a freak bro, grow up.
Coccinelle_fml 15
Hmm... With a nosy snooping around parent like you, you're lucky she's only a Twilight fan.
toohottiedottie 2
Oh, screw you! If it was your son writing that story about two chicks, you'd be high-fiving him! guess what??? Your daughter is a human being with a sexual side! She's gonna have sex, and she's gonna give blow jobs! Deal!!!!!!
Anducar 10
I think that's not the point. The point is that it's with these 2 fgts from twilight.
Pam94 3
YDI for snooping
mikaykaykayla 0
Well she could be out getting knocked up by non-fictional people... but you so deserved it.
OhHeySlogan 4
First of all, she's 16 and growing up. She's just exploring her sexuality. You should be happy she's not having sex. 16 year olds love twilight; that's not unusual either. As far as I'm concerned, the only "freak" is you for snooping around your daughter's laptop.
kitkatknicknack 12
How can you call your own daughter a freak, and say you can't even look her in the eye? Some father you are -_-
dogpup4 23
YDI for snooping but also FYL for having a Twilight obsessed weirdo as a daughter.
nerdlover92596 0
Yo, you raised her, OP, so some of it's your fault.
tinypurplegiant 0
Best fml I have read all day!