Today, I tried hitting on the new receptionist at work. After a few flirtatious comments and subtly hinting that I thought she was bangable, she informed me that she's married to our boss. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, the coworker I have been hitting it off with rejected me. Apparently she has a crush on another male employee. An employee who is married and somehow has three other girls in our store actually fighting over him (I've heard arguments). She thinks she has a chance? FML
Today, my coworker began flirting with the new guy at work and accepted a date with him. I’ve been trying to get with her for months and she'd told me, “Sorry, I don’t fraternize with colleagues.” I called her out on it and she told me, “OK, I’ll spell it out for you: I do fraternize with attractive colleagues.” FML
Today, I was talking to this girl I really like at my work. Everything was going fine until our boss called me into his office. Apparently I was being a little too flirty with his daughter. FML
Today, I met a new guy at work who wouldn't stop hitting on me. We ended up on a six-hour shift together watching a pool, so we were wearing nothing but bathing suits when he began grabbing me inappropriately. When I confided in my female coworker about it, she told me that he was her husband. FML
Today, I told my boss about a coworker that had been hitting on me. She looked me dead in the eye and said "I was afraid that would happen. He's a bit of a chubby chaser." FML
Today, I went to a social event with a very attractive male co-worker. Things were going awesome, we were flirting and really hitting it off. Then his 'wife' called. FML
Today, my boss admitted she's having an affair. She's married to my brother. FML
Today, I confessed my feelings to the girl I like, who also happens to be my coworker. She told my boss, and they're laughing about it as I type this. FML
Today, a guy was hitting on me when I was at a café. I told him I was married, but it didn't deter him, so I told him to go away. Later, my husband came home from work with his boss for dinner and sure enough, it was the same guy who was hitting on me. Suffice to say, it was one awkward dinner night. FML
Today, while at work, I got fired because I was 'hitting' on my boss's wife who also works in the same company. Since when does 'asking for paper clips' mean 'hitting on'? FML
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Top comments
gonad_gobbler 1
How exactly do you subtly hint that someone is "bangable"?
airforce987 20
OP: "Hey do you like the drums? I used to be the drummer in a band during high school." Receptionist: "Oh yeah?" OP: "Yeah, what can I say? I was pretty good at banging my stick! I mean sticks. You look like you could do with some banging yourself, you know, it's quite relaxing and loosens your muscles." Receptionist: "Really? I guess I'll have to tell my husband, your boss, about that." OP: *O.O*
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Comments (197)
gonad_gobbler 1
How exactly do you subtly hint that someone is "bangable"?
airforce987 20
OP: "Hey do you like the drums? I used to be the drummer in a band during high school." Receptionist: "Oh yeah?" OP: "Yeah, what can I say? I was pretty good at banging my stick! I mean sticks. You look like you could do with some banging yourself, you know, it's quite relaxing and loosens your muscles." Receptionist: "Really? I guess I'll have to tell my husband, your boss, about that." OP: *O.O*
Drigr 9
OP: Hey Receptionist: Umm... Hi? OP: Man I wish I could get over this dry spell. Receptionist: Err... Okay? OP: Yeah, I haven't been laid in 6 months. Receptionist: Uh, that sucks? OP: Yeah, so what about you? Receptionist: Well, last night I rode the **** outta my husband, your boss, like a wild stalion 3 times, so I guess I've been on a dry spell for... 2 hours? OP: But its only 8 in the morning! Receptionist: You know what they say, morning sex is the best sex! OP: I'm gonna go now... Receptionist: Good idea.
memob123 0
^nice try bro
Drigr 9
I wonder if it woulda been funnier if I hadn't been the third attempt... Yeah, you're right, it still woulda sucked
AwkwardPartyBear 24
18- Your comment= perfect! I can't think of the condom going any other way! 72- Nice try but keep trying, sport.
AwkwardPartyBear 24
*Conversation! (damn,you autocorrect) ^ Don't sweat it at least you know now :)
marthagayo 14
Omg 18! I just laughed so hard! Thank you for that.
day624 14
Genius
Thegunners0101 2
I said a bang, bang, bangity bang I said a bang bang bangity bang, bang bang bang
SkoomaKi 28
OP "You've had a turn of the old bull, how about trying the young calf?"
steve247 2
I think "stud" would be a better word here than "calf"
iloveHU15 6
haha, love that movie!
whitekid1497 7
How can u subtly hint that someone is bangable? OP: hey... receptionist...ur...*furtively looks around and whispers* bangable
nick315 8
I think it's more op: pretends to have shot gun makes *BANG noise then says that's what I'd do to you if you let me. Then he ;).
55z 1
Wonder how your boss thinks about you thinking that "Shes bangable"
coried91 28
Why would you need to wonder? He's probably pissed.
lebronesque73091 12
No raise for him.
kayla_ann0o 9
I wouldn't be mad if some one said my wife was bangable. At least she's not getting called sloppy.
xplainphrox 8
A raise of a different kind... When he sees her again... Rofl
sleepy4932 0
Did she flirt back
IronicIrony 8
I'm going to go out on a limb and say no.
Heinousness 0
31) correct.
manyourlifesucks 0
If you consider replying with "im telling your boss!" to be flirting then yes. Yes she did.
55z 1
Wonder how your boss thinks about you thinking that "Shes bangable"
JayByrd13 6
at least the boss wasn't right beside her! ;)
ninjadinos 14
Eek, looks like meetings and evaluations are going to be awkward from here on out... But seriously op, why would hint that somebody you work with is bangable without knowing any details? Even the minor ones about being married?
xXxIracebethxXx 14
I'd say that being married is more of a major detail rather than minor.
springywdcc 2
I would bang a married woman, that's a turn on
puppytaco64 8
Just do it Nike
iliketurdles 7
Shut up, Meg. I mean puppytaco.
Jasonf6 0
Nice workplace sexual harassment there pal.
Drigr 9
Hey, he was subtle about it. It's not like he walked into the office and blurted out "I love your beautiful heart-shaped hiney. Can I was my winky in your kitchen sinky?" Ten points for the first person to understand the reference
schmelia 10
The subtle ones are the worst because you can't outright reject them/tell them to stop being creepy ("oh, I didn't mean for you to take it THAT way! You know I'm just kidding around" blah blah blah). At least when someone's blatant it's easy to put a stop to it.
downtime 13
Sexual harassment is way too sensitive an issue. Saying that you like someone shouldn't be sexual harassment, people should have a right to air out feelings. People need to just embrace their humanity and stop pretending to be robots without feelings. Of course there is a difference between telling someone "Hey, I find you really attractive, would you ever be interested in going out with me" then being turned down and moving on and persisting with hinting, propositions and innuendo. A little maturity would be good in these situations, otherwise you DO end up with idiots who will keep popping up trying to drop "hints" because they know if they outright state their feelings they're looking at being in a heap of trouble. Relationships are a part of life, they can't develop in a closeted environment where such interaction is shunned.
MuchDance90s 0
not appropriate at work. period.
downtime 13
Not appropriate at YOUR work. You shouldn't make a blanket statement like that when plenty of highly productive workplaces embrace human relationships and function quite successfully.
cjb87 23
Gonna go ahead and say that if she felt the need to state that she's married, and that her husband is OP's boss, OP was not being as subtle as he claims/believes.
LuckyTroll 6
Shoulda asked if married.
ninjadinos 14
"Hello, nice to meet you. I'm Mark. You married?" That might not be such a great idea either.
Krirn 21
That's what rings are for.
Drigr 9
I know a few women who wear rings (on their left ring finger) without being married or trying to appear that way