Today, I was installing updates on my 16 year old daughter's laptop, when I got the urge to snoop around. I found a 5,000 word sex story involving her and the Edward and Jacob weirdos from the Twilight movies. I can't even look her in the eyes. I can't believe I raised this freak. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I walked in on my daughter hugging and sobbing into her Edward Cullen cut-out. She won't tell me what's wrong, yet she can confide in a creepy fictional stalker whose facial expression is locked to "chronically constipated". Where did I go wrong? FML
Today, I discovered that my 15 year old girl had hidden a disgusting porn film in the "future career" folder. FML
Today, my mom found a book of dirty stories I'd written in tenth grade. She then told me that I wrote about things she'd never even thought about, and she's been having sex for years. If that wasn't bad enough, she's taken them in to work to show people. FML
Today, after waiting for years for my oldest daughter to grow out of Twilight, my younger daughter discovered it. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend still writes Twilight fan fiction. FML
Today, I found my daughter's fanfiction account. I need a new pair of eyes, or brain bleach, or both. FML
Today, I came home and caught my husband in a compromising position. He was watching Twilight. FML
Today, while on my Dad's computer, I looked through the browser history to find the name of a website I'd visited on it the other day. I soon found out he watches a staggering amount of downright frightening incest porn. I'm disturbed on so many levels. FML
Today, I attempted to snoop around my daughter’s room, because I suspect her of having sex with her boyfriend behind my back. Hoping to find the evidence, I went to her room as soon as she left for school. Turns out she rigged her bedroom door. With glitter. Uh oh. FML
Today, I noticed my hidden porn folder on my laptop had been renamed to "LOL". I live with my teenage daughter, and no one else. FML
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Top comments
limeyemilyy 0
Rewrite some of it to freak her out
zcheema17 0
Lol! Don't go snoop around her stuff! But that is weird...
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Comments (480)
jaff23 11
Twilights ruined everyone's lives
Mekeritrig 15
You are sad little man. Get a life.
pandalecki 3
I'd be more bothered by the fact that it was a Twilight fanfiction, rather than the sex.
ingridpingrid 4
Then don't snoop around. Quite frankly none of your buisness.
Shoob1 0
She's 16 give it a rest and you shouldn't be snooping anyway
GETxAxLIFE 0
And I can't believe your parents raised such a ********
Sassybq1 13
Lol shes a genius!!! :D
ilovefall10 21
I'm not a twilight fan myself but damn woman! A bit harsh here aren't we? Also , it's not too wise to snoop around someone else's computer. If you don't want to know the truth, then don't look!
confederacy4 0
What a ******!
crystalrain17 14
You COMPLETELY DESERVE EVERY BIT OF IT for snooping around on your daughter's computer! Anyway, it doesn't make her a freak; you just sound uptight. Shut up.