Today, I found my daughter's fanfiction account. I need a new pair of eyes, or brain bleach, or both. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, concerned about my daughter's recent behavior, I looked through her web browser history. I found web searches for information on how to make a bomb to blow up a "horse". I'm not sure if she's illiterate, but either way it seems I need to get her some help. FML
Mortifying
Today, I was doing my nightly check of my daughter's phone since a recent stint in the psych hospital, and saw that she had fallen into a peaceful sleep to watching videos on a website dedicated to watching people die. FML
The betrayal
Today, like an idiot, I accidentally included stuff I learned from snooping in my daughter's secret diary during a conversation with her. She's not happy at me right now, so I may have to polish off my old grovelling skills from when I was still married to her mom. FML
Today, feeling very distant from my daughter recently, I decided to sneak a peek in her diary to see what was on her mind. The book was apparently one of those that play the sound of a woman screaming when opened improperly, and alerted everyone in the house to my actions. FML
Today, I walked in on my daughter hugging and sobbing into her Edward Cullen cut-out. She won't tell me what's wrong, yet she can confide in a creepy fictional stalker whose facial expression is locked to "chronically constipated". Where did I go wrong? FML
Breaking news
Today, I was helping my mom look for some money she'd misplaced. At my wit's end, I flipped through her diary, in case she'd hidden it between the pages as she has before. Didn't find the money, but I did find out she might well be cheating on my dad. FML
Gullible
Today, I caught my 12 year-old seconds away from dripping bleach in his eye. Apparently “someone online” told him it scars the pupil red permanently, like a devil's eye, and he believed them. I’m shutting off the internet permanently, I can't handle his level of stupidity anymore. FML
Primitive art
Today, I went to check on my 2 year-old daughter in her playroom, since she was being awfully quiet. I walk in to see her finger painting with her own feces on her kiddie table. FML
Today, after waiting for years for my oldest daughter to grow out of Twilight, my younger daughter discovered it. FML
Today, I found out that the man I met online was a fake Facebook account, made by my daughter and her friends. FML
Top comments
Nickynick123456 24
You might want to talk to your kid op, that stuff can get pretty graphic. Unless you believe she's old enough. Then ydi if she is.
strugglingatlife 14
I wish you luck op
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Comments (104)
Optic50 9
I hope God will help you
LilMissCanadian 22
Therapy can probably help. Probably.
Benpie 22
God isn't real
OhGawdMyEyes 9
Why rely on something that doesn't exist when you can rely on something tangible, such as a therapist?
PhinIt2WinIt 24
well let some people express their beliefs even if they might not agree with yours ^
Iwannarock1 19
Lighten up Dad, she'll be fine.
BrutalEater 15
It's probably just sexual fanfics if not then they probably need therapy.
TAntobella 14
Sure, because a) a girl's sexual fantasies about a fictional character is something so dreadful that requires the intervention of a deity, and b) it surely is a priority in this otherwise perfect world.... Don't worry 1#, god is ok with illicit sex: just see how many times incest and extra-marital sex happen in the bible!
josiemorehouse 12
#1 There is no God, only Zuul!
SystemofaBlink41 27
In my opinion, it's usually not the sex part that bothers me but that most fanfic is so awfully written it really does feel you a deity to help you. But sex fanfic CAN be hilarious... Just look at the one with the Hogwarts castle and the squid.
DoomedGemini 38
Depends on where you are reading. Certain places are more likely to have better writers and ALL writers start somewhere. You have to go through cringeworthy writing to learn and develop.
zykrithium 22
#131 It wasn't just the fact that it was fictional characters. You have no idea what exactly he read. Fanfictions can get pretty damn raunchy pretty damn fast. Not only that, but what if it was the type of creepy fanfic that was about YouTube personalities or something?
Nickynick123456 24
You might want to talk to your kid op, that stuff can get pretty graphic. Unless you believe she's old enough. Then ydi if she is.
tranced_ 45
ahh we need a link to that account to find out :D
Ilayda_fml 12
What does ydi mean?
Bethaneey 15
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
How old is she? Serves you right for sneaking around.
StarOfDoom 26
I agree with this only if the daughter is older. You should let her have her personal space, however, if she is still young, you should sit her down and have a talk about what is appropriate, and what isn't.. although everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and this might be what she enjoys doing.
HollyQuinn 21
If it's on the internet, it's public. Therefore, not really sneaking around. Can't get mad at someone for seeing something that's open for everyone to see.
9a_1z 12
Privacy is all well and good but if he found it via her public accounts or googling the right things (as opposed to looking in her internet history) it's definitely something to be concerned about, because that means anyone could find it and link it to her.
ThatHorse 15
Why do you assume she's sneaking around #4? The OP only said she found it. If it's a public account then the OP might have stumbled on it by accident. Or was looking for fanfiction and found it that way.
interesting33 37
but how would they know it is their daughter's?
ThatHorse 15
#43, probably the daughter had a profile picture of herself or her rl name on the profile.
DoomedGemini 38
I have to ask if he knew before or after reading it. If before, YDI, if before, well FYL.
mariri9206 32
I don't think he was snooping around. it says he found it, not that he went looking for it. it's entirely possible that he just stumbled upon it by mistake.
Mizaru 3
For those saying that he could have found it publicly, why would someone's father been searching for fanfic?
mollybelle 13
#85 Parents can like reading fanfics, too, you know.
militarybrat 21
There are a lot of writers who are parents of teenagers or older. I personally know of tons. And one male :) hes the husband of a famous (in the ff community) writer.
mikuxxhatsune 32
Well I think she might have left it open and her dad just went past and wanted to borrow her device and accidentally glanced at a few concerning details before looking into detail.
mariri9206 32
For 85 (as to why he would be searching) and 88 (to further your comment) A lot of authors on fanfiction are parents.
strugglingatlife 14
I wish you luck op
wickedhyype 17
I will be a donor for one of your new eyes. Walk with courage my friend, walk with courage. FYL
fariss 14
I smell jealousy.. Haha jk
KatieKoala 19
I would say, Y'all need Jesus, but it seems like only your daughter needs Jesus.
9a_1z 12
I can only imagine the result of that being terrible Jesus fanfiction. No one needs that.
Kahli21 15
"Jesus yelled, "YO HOMIES, LET'S SLAY THIS DRAGON!" and whipped out his lightsaber. His posse of 12 Dudes rode in on velociraptors, guns blazing. "YOU'RE TOAST, BITCH!", J.C. yelled as he swung his mighty sword, "SO SAY WE ALL!" And thus Jesus and the 12 Dude-ciples slayed the dragon and got turned up at the after party." You are sooooo welcome.
xxlittlemsanime 24
Not so fun fact: Jesus x Hitler Fanfiction is a thing. I had the horror of stumbling upon it. *takes shot of bleach*
darkmatternat 1
Also not so fun fact: there is such thing as a gay graphic fic that has spongebob and Patrick jerking each other off. Not even kidding. I still need brain bleach. Meeting people who write fanfiction can be good or insane.
ToddesPizza 10
I've literally had a woman tell me I needed Jesus because I shipped JOHNLOCK
FabulousToaster 16
Google 'worst fanfics'. The top 10 list. Number 1 is "A Pokémon Story". Read at your own risk.. I don't know why I did.
Gardevoir2 11
Thanks, #150, now I have to change my avatar and my account I guess
SexyQueen0905 24
Can't be any worse than 50 Shades of Grey.
Lalala579121 28
Is that a challenge?
StiffPvtParts 43
Yes. Yes, it can. Trust me, I've seen some shit... things no eyes should ever see. I'll never be the same again. @_@
Kahli21 15
Me too. But honestly, 50 Shades is pretty horrendous, and it is actually a fanfiction ( of Twilight ). I've seen some truly beautiful works of art called fanfiction though, and they more than make up for those horrific ones. There are some very blessed people out there who do more with words than anyone could do with film, and some of them are discouraged from writing by their parents/significant others. It's truly a shame.
DoomedGemini 38
Yeah, out of all the fanfiction, including amazing ones, THAT had to be the one published.
militarybrat 21
A lot of them have been published 57, i think you mean popular. I love anything by shay savage :) shes my fav.
Why_me499 21
#39, I couldn't agree more. I used to write fanfiction that was strictly T or below rating, no worse than normal young adult literature but my parents snooped in my room and burned my hundreds of carefully handwritten pages. I had spent many many many nights and hours writing those, pouring my heart and soul into creating characters who became an extension of my personality. Myself in situations where I wasn't helpless in the face of my parent's anger and disapproval. And there is no way that I can recreate what I wrote and be as satisfied with it as I was. Even after four years it still hurts.
HitmanKillsYou 13
digital and backups on a flashdrive, buddy.
GhostFox 34
I don't think someone who writes escapism fantasies about getting away from emotionally abusive parents has access to digital copies and flash drives, 'buddy.'
trucker2 33
What is it with people knocking 50 shades !!
leogachi 15
@121 Fifty Shades of Grey is poorly written. That's why people bash on it. I bash on it because the author romanticizes abusive relationships.
trucker2 33
Hate to say it, but it's not as far off as 1 might believe, we are romantic, with a kick.. I am S/M and B/D 100 o/o
DoomedGemini 38
It's not real BDSM though. Many in the BDSM community especially hate it because it shows abuse while claiming its BDSM.
DoomedGemini 38
It makes it look like BDSM relationships are abusive, ignoring the use of safe words that are a key part of it. BDSM involves a lot of trust, which obviously isn't in 50 shades of grey. He rapes her.
ToxicTyrael 26
I'm into it and I can say this book has nothing to do with bdsm it's plain rape and abuse...
KryssLB 14
My Mum threw out my writing when I was a teen and I'm still ticked off when I think about it. I've written tonnes more since then, and from what I can remember most of what I lost was awful, but she robbed me of the opportunity to see how far I came (or didn't) and see both my progress and also get an outsider's perspective on my childhood imagination. CBC Radio 1 has a programme called "Adults Read Things They Wrote As Kids". You should see if you can find it online (they podcast their stuff); it's hilarious. The sense of hurt and betrayal will probably eventually ease off (it's been about 25 years for me and it doesn't hurt like it used to) but I suspect the disappointment will never completely go away. Keep writing! And try and recall it when you're falling asleep; maybe you can at least remember some characters and plots, and resurrect them. Seriously, **** people who destroy other people's writing. It has value to the author far beyond whether or not YOU found it worthwhile.
NamesIncognita 15
#128 to doomedgemini... As much as I hate and protest against bdsm it is true. fifty shades isn't a bondage fanfic.it is a rape fanfic.
burro012 23
You can never look at your daughter the same way again
pokemyeyes 23
Am I the only one whos constantly surprised everytime a parent with older children posts an FML? like its shocking they can use the internet let alone cool websites
CoffeeChickBlows 13
Well... you're not the only snot-nosed little bastard on here that thinks anyone over 30 is ancient and can't use technology, so the answer's probably "no". You're still an idiot though.
KryssLB 14
Dude, we INVENTED the Internet. It's like being surprised we can drive.