Today, I was installing updates on my 16 year old daughter's laptop, when I got the urge to snoop around. I found a 5,000 word sex story involving her and the Edward and Jacob weirdos from the Twilight movies. I can't even look her in the eyes. I can't believe I raised this freak. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I walked in on my daughter hugging and sobbing into her Edward Cullen cut-out. She won't tell me what's wrong, yet she can confide in a creepy fictional stalker whose facial expression is locked to "chronically constipated". Where did I go wrong? FML
Today, I discovered that my 15 year old girl had hidden a disgusting porn film in the "future career" folder. FML
Today, my mom found a book of dirty stories I'd written in tenth grade. She then told me that I wrote about things she'd never even thought about, and she's been having sex for years. If that wasn't bad enough, she's taken them in to work to show people. FML
Today, after waiting for years for my oldest daughter to grow out of Twilight, my younger daughter discovered it. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend still writes Twilight fan fiction. FML
Today, I found my daughter's fanfiction account. I need a new pair of eyes, or brain bleach, or both. FML
Today, I came home and caught my husband in a compromising position. He was watching Twilight. FML
Today, while on my Dad's computer, I looked through the browser history to find the name of a website I'd visited on it the other day. I soon found out he watches a staggering amount of downright frightening incest porn. I'm disturbed on so many levels. FML
Today, I attempted to snoop around my daughter’s room, because I suspect her of having sex with her boyfriend behind my back. Hoping to find the evidence, I went to her room as soon as she left for school. Turns out she rigged her bedroom door. With glitter. Uh oh. FML
Today, I noticed my hidden porn folder on my laptop had been renamed to "LOL". I live with my teenage daughter, and no one else. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
limeyemilyy 0
Rewrite some of it to freak her out
zcheema17 0
Lol! Don't go snoop around her stuff! But that is weird...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (480)
Tiel 11
She's your child. You should be disgusted of yourself for breaching your daughter's privacy. You're a terrible person. If she's a freak, then you're one too cause you're her parent. Dum-fakin-ass.
bubo_fml 11
Be thankful it wasn't "Step Brothers" or "Dumb & Dummer!"
RoxxyHustle 7
That's an awful thing to find, but hey you read it freak-o!! The freaky apple doesn't fall to far from the tree!!
expellerumious 3
Your mean..... Lol.
Broc831 6
hahahaha its funny because its fantasy, edward and jacob wouldn't do that. they're obviously gay for each other if they both have spray on abs and one wears glitter and sparkles.
rokelly7888 1
Yeah that is weird, But your her parent and you don't call your kids things like that. It's very disturbing that There are parents like you out there.
robo_thunder 13
Change all the Jacob and Edwards to Harry and Ron.
thrashdu2002 5
are u team edward or jacob when it comes to dudes railing ur daughter? lol
pegasus187 9
Twilight and Justin Bieber must be eradicated from the face of the earth!! They are turning our kids into freaks!
GMagic27 1
Wait, so you're disgusted by the private writings that your daughter wrote on her laptop that you found while you were snooping around? First off, you get what you deserve when you snoop, and secondly, why the hell would you read it if you found what it was?